Learning To Trust Again
by raidersofthelostarc
Summary: AU. Quinn is an ex soldier currently living in New York, she is unemployed, and attending therapy. Cut off from her family and friends, when she meets Rachel Berry , can she save Quinn from herself?
1. Intro

I feel as though I should begin by saying this is not a happy story where boy meets girl that leads to boy and girl falling in love and going on to get married and have kids. It doesn't have a happy ending, if that's what you want. Life does not end happily, life is cruel and quick. Life has no second chances. Life more often than not screws you over. There are no winners in the game that is life. We play hoping to succeed, only when the game ends you lose, maybe leaving scars behind, memories that will fade over time. The world will not end when you lose the game; the world continues to turn, almost as though you were never there at all.

This then is the story of my life, of how I came to fall in love, of how I came so close to winning the game of life. But like I said before there are no happy endings, even in your boy meets girl fairy tale. What you often don't see is that years down the line boy and girl drift apart, they begin to see things differently but let's not talk of that. This is my story after all, and happy or not this is how I came to know and love a girl, a girl that completely changed the course of my life. The girl with the beautiful voice.


	2. Chapter 1

Calloused fingers picked at the worn leather, of the used armchair. Quinn mused at how many people had sat here, how many ex soldiers, damaged by the war had sat right where she was. She had kept up with this futile attempt of recovery. There was no recovery that much she knew, any soldier knew that much. There was no forgetting. But she had agreed to come, well not quite agreed but it was go to therapy, or go to some institute for soldiers who weren't able to cope after war.

Quinn's lips twitched slightly thinking back to that day, she had lashed out at a co-worker, putting him in the hospital. The courts had let her off lightly, therapy and pay for her co-workers compensation, there were some perks to being an ex soldier she supposed.

_Six months ago_

_Quinn sipped at her drink, savouring the strong aroma of rich coffee. She sat down at her cubicle; stacking the files she needed for the day in a neat pile next to her computer, ready for when she would need them. Office work was awfully dull; the days seemed to bleed into one another. Each work day was barely discernible from the next. By 8.00am each day she would be on the subway, headed for work where she would spend 10 hours in the office per day. She worked too much probably but she had to find some way of keeping her mind distracted. After 6.00pm she had nothing to do, no friends or family to speak of, she wasn't able to keep them nowadays. _

_A loud obnoxious hollering made her head shoot up instantly, her body tensing, nostrils flaring, and hands clenching into fists. She closed her eyes tightly taking a deep steady breath, muttering under her breath trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. It was to be expected she knew, people kept telling her to expect to find adjusting to normal life again difficult. 'Don't worry Quinn; every soldier has difficulty dealing with being in the real world again'. Countless people had told her this, as though that would make it any easier to deal with. She just wanted to be able to walk along the street without completely freezing whenever somebody got too close, spoke too loudly. She wanted to be normal._

_"Alright blondie?"Quinn smiled instantly recognising the voice of Tom, her co-worker. He was probably the only person who didn't tiptoe around her or whisper behind her back. She knew everybody thought she was some crazed woman, hell she thought so too, but it was comforting having at least one person who treated her somewhat normally. Tom wasn't her friend, but he was the closest thing she had to one right now._

_"Thomas, aren't you meant to be working?" Quinn stated swiveling around in her chair to face him. Tom smirked at her, before flashing a toothy grin. Tom had an almost childlike quality about him, Quinn loved that about him. Quinn knew that the child in her had been long lost, and couldn't help but admire Tom for how he saw the world._

_"Gods, can't a man take a break to-" Tom was cut off by a heavy pat on his shoulder. Both he and Quinn looked up to see the conversation interloper._

_"Hello gorgeous." Quinn rolled her eyes, her eye twitching in annoyance. Excluding Tom her co-workers all steered clear of her; they knew that she wasn't there to socialise but to earn a living. All but one; Matthew Sawyers. Tom shrugged his hand off of his shoulder, stepping slightly closer to the blonde._

_"Sawyers, haven't you had enough already." Tom was referring to the multiple times Quinn had shot Matt down. At first she had been polite in refusing his offers of a drink, but he just didn't seem to get the message, in the end both herself and Tom had tried many attempts at getting rid of the determined man. _

_Matt scowled at Tom, puffing out his chest in an attempt to show his dominance. After a tense few seconds of eye contact between the two men Matt turned his attention to Quinn. _

_"How about a drink with me later tonight?" Matt smiled in what he probably thought was a charming way, but looked more like a grimace to Quinn. _

_"No." Matt didn't skip a beat, not even paying attention to Quinn's refusal. _

_"No really, it'd be fun. Besides you look like you could take the edge off, and I'm the man to help you do that." Quinn chuckled lightly and ran a hand through her hair, it'd gotten quite long now reaching down to her shoulders. _

_"Believe me Matt, if I wanted to 'take the edge off' it would be with you, I think that a wall would be better company." Quinn plastered a fake smile onto her face, her eyes penetrating Matt with a cold look._

_"You know what, you're a fucking joke, and everyone in this office knows it." _

_"Hey!" Tom who was still standing protectively next to Quinn took a step towards Matt shoving him away, trying to get him to leave before he said anything else to the blonde. Matt smiled slightly at Quinn, before quickly lunging for Tom with his hand in a fist. Tom who wasn't expecting the punch had no time to block it before Matt's fist impacted with the right side of his jaw, sending him sprawling to the floor. _

_"Awwh looks like your boyfriend fell Quinnie, maybe you should be a doll and help him up." Matt guffawed before turning around and beginning to saunter away. She shared a quick look with Tom, who was clutching at his jaw, wincing in pain._

_"Quinn don't!" Quinn barely heard Tom, before springing out of her chair and grabbing Matt but the back of his shirt collar and slamming him face first into the wall of her cubicle. She grabbed a handful of his hair, pulling his head back before smashing it into the wall once more. A sickening crack sounded throughout the work area. It seemed they had now gained an audience. Ignoring the cries for her to stop and put Matt down, Quinn continued to pound Matt's head against the wall before throwing him to the ground. She clambered on top of his, straddling his chest, before aiming several swift punches to his face._

_"Quinn! Stop!" Tom was hysterical at this point reaching for her arm, trying to stop her but she just shoved him off of her. Using her nails to gauge into the side of Matt's face. Blood spewed from his mouth, nose and probably other wounds she had managed to inflict. She panted above him grabbing at his throat squeezing tightly. His hands reaching and clawing at her own trying to loosen the death grip she had on his neck, his leg began to spasm wildly kicking out. His face was red, and the veins in his forehead were clearly visible, he was gasping wildly for breath a manic look in his eyes, he looked like a scared animal._

_Quinn bared her teeth at him, almost snarling, her breathing was harsh and she could feel her heart pounding. She couldn't stop, she had to do this, it was kill or be killed. That was what you learnt in war, you didn't want to kill your enemies, but if you didn't, they would kill you. _

Quinn shook her head, trying to forget, she had lost her temper, and she had nearly killed a man in doing so. After throttling Matt, she couldn't remember what else she had done, she'd blacked out, but from what she had been told it wasn't pretty.

If therapy couldn't help her recover then maybe it would help her in controlling her temper, she couldn't afford to slip up like that again.

Her eyes flicked across the room to Dr Chang, he was similar in age to Quinn, and had a lean body and thin face with a kind smile. Her eyes took in the photo, of who she assumed to be his wife, across the room. She hadn't asked about his life, and he hadn't shared, in the last month she had been attending therapy all she had learnt was that he was married, which she knew from the gold ring on his left hand.

She wasn't willing to share anything with him, but he was patient, asking her questions and telling her that when she was ready to he would try to help her. She knew she wouldn't ever be ready, not that she would tell him this.

"Well Quinn, I was informed that you've been suffering from nightmares recently. Would you tell me what happens in these dreams?" Dr Chang hadn't lost hope, after a month of her just sitting staring into nothing; he continued to patiently try to help her. She had to give him that she supposed.

Quinn just glanced at the clock, almost groaning. Forty five minutes left, they had only been sitting there for fifteen minutes. She patted her bouncing leg, anxious to leave. She didn't like being here, it was admitting something was wrong, since she was younger she had learnt to hide her problems and pretend they weren't there. Unfortunately it seemed like Dr Chang could see through her pretending, he was able to see through her facade.

Quinn shuffled in her chair, deciding she may as well get comfy seeing as the session wasn't going to any faster.

Quinn clambered up the broken steps of her apartment, entering the building and heading for the elevator, praying that it was working. Jabbing the button, she heard the clunking of the old elevator before the doors opened. She shuffled in pressing the button for her floor, careful not to lean again the side of the elevator, god knows what people had done in here, looking down there was a sticky yellow substance on the floor along with what looked like a used condom. The creaky door opened, and Quinn quickly walked along the hall to her apartment door, pushing her key into the lock jiggling it, before pushing the door open.

Her apartment was bare with hardly any furniture; there was a small TV, a dirty, beaten up couch against the wall in the living room, a bed and wardrobe in her room, and the kitchen held a fridge, microwave and sink. She walked into her bathroom, turning on the hot tap of the stained bath, she grabbed the one towel she owned setting it on the lid of her grimy toilet.

Quinn headed for her bedroom shrugging off her clothes, dumping them on the floor, before heading back into her bathroom and climbing into the bath.

"Shit.." Quinn hissed at the hot water soothed her aching muscles. She leaned back sighing, she was exhausted from today. She had been attempting to find a job for months, but nobody wanted to hire an ex soldier, sure people treated her as though being in a war earned her respect, but they weren't so enthusiastic about having an ex soldier working for them, let alone one with a criminal record. Damn Matt Sawyers, damn everybody.

Quinn tried to relax, closing her eyes, knowing that tomorrow she had to go out again and try to search for a job. Rent was due soon, and although she was living in an absolute shithole, it was still pricey enough.

Reaching for the shower she turned it on, grabbing the shower head, soaking her hair. She applied shampoo, washing out any grime that had built up over the day. Quinn rinsed herself off, getting out of the bath and wrapping the towel around herself, entering the kitchen and opening the fridge, grabbing leftover takeout and putting it into the microwave to heat up. She went into her room to fish out something comfy to wear.

There was zero point in buying an oven, she never cooked, and her appetite was poor, she skipped breakfast, and usually lunch, later on grabbing something small. Her abysmal diet was probably why she was so tired all of the time. The microwave timer chimed and Quinn grabbed her food, heading into the living room and collapsing onto her couch, turning on her TV and beginning to pick at her food.

After about half an hour she had eaten a few mouthfuls, and had given up trying to find anything interesting on TV, sighing she decided that she may as well go to bed, seeing as she would have to be up early tomorrow to go job hunting. After turning the lights out in her apartment, and double checking to see if her front door was locked she walked into her bedroom, throwing herself onto her bed, falling asleep before even having a chance to pull up the covers.


	3. Chapter 2

Rachel lugged the last of her boxes up a narrow set of stairs, stumbling slightly; the box was filled with CD's she had bought, it contained every single one she had bought since she was 13, and had first been given pocket money. She had saved up for weeks, until she was able to buy her first Barbara album. Her fathers, had believed in not spoiling her, allowing her a dollar each week from when she turned 13, as long as she completed her chores. She was thrilled when she first bought the CD knowing she had worked for it.

Now at the age of 22, she was moving into her first apartment, or trying to at least. It had taken her the last hour and a half to carry all of her boxes up the stairs. Why was she taking the stairs? Because the shoddy elevator in this place was out of order meaning she had to climb 8 flights of stairs in order to even reach her apartment, pairing that with taking several heavy boxes meant that Rachel hadn't even started unpacking yet, and already she was behind on her schedule. She had planned to be unpacked within the day, so that she wouldn't have to worry about settling into her apartment for the rest of the week and could just concentrate on auditions.

She had been dreaming of moving to New York since she was a little girl, of following her dreams and performing on Broadway. So far things weren't going so well, it seemed that there weren't many roles out there for a twenty two year old 5ft Jewish girl, that's what she'd been told anyway when she had been turned down for her past auditions, that she just wasn't what they were looking for. She knew that she didn't fit the part of the tall blonde girl, with the perfect face, but she knew her voice was just as good as half of the girls out there getting the parts if not better, she knew she could sing, and well.

Grunting as she climbed, she hefted the box so that it was in front of her face, making it a lot easier to carry. She had another five floors to climb before she would reach her apartment, then she would have to unpack all of her boxes, she would be lucky if she managed to unpack half of them before tomorrow. Sighing she continued her ascent up the stairs, just about able to carry the box. Now that she couldn't see in front her climb was a lot slower but at least now she didn't feel as though her arms were about to fall off.

Rachel heard footsteps bounding down the stairs, she was unable to see who it was, but tried to move off to the side so that she wouldn't be in the way. Apparently she failed in doing so because whoever it was who was descending the stairs collided with her, making her drop the box, sending dozens of CD's crashing down the stairs. Rachel could only watch in horror as some of her most prized possessions tumbled, hitting the steps and making an awful clattering noise. She stomped her foot on the step before spinning on her heel huffing, intending to give the offender a good telling to about minding where they were going, choosing to disregard the fact that she wasn't watching either. She looked up to see a bashful looking girl, biting her lip and looking apologetic. She took in the girls battered combat boots, her ripped jeans and old plain black t-shirt; she obviously doesn't care about maintaining appearance was the main though flying through Rachel's mind. She looked up at the girls face, wanting to get a good look at her so she could avoid running into her in the future. Rachel's eyes went wide, the girl had golden blonde hair that stopped at her shoulders, her lips were pink and the bottom one was tugged in between her teeth. The girls jaw line was strong; Rachel followed her face up taking in well defined cheek bones. What stood out the most to Rachel though, were the girl's eyes. They were a hazel colour, and if she looked carefully Rachel thought she could make out gold flecks in them. All thoughts that Rachel had of telling this girl off went out the window, instead she found herself wanting to know the blonde beauties name.

"Uhh, I-I listen I am so so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going and I was in a rush, I'm really sorry about your stuff." Rachel blinked, the girl's voice was soft, almost husky and she instantly felt as though she could listen to this girl all day.

"It's fine, really." She smiled, trying to reassure her that she wasn't going to flip out. The blonde didn't seem to believe her; instead she lent down and began to hastily pick up some of the closest CD's.

"You really don't have to do that, didn't you say you were in a rush?"

"Yes ma'am I did, but it wouldn't be right of me to just leave you here. It's my fault that you dropped your things."

Rachel blinked, shocked yet again by the blonde, she was so polite. After being in New York for less than a day, Rachel had quickly learnt that everybody seemed to be in a rush and to make sure you didn't get in anybody's way. And had she heard right 'ma'am' nobody had ever addressed her as such, most people she knew either called her by Rachel, or cruel taunts like man hands, she couldn't understand them herself in fact she rather thought that her hands were quite nice, and very feminine.

"Um okay then I guess, could you just help me put the CD's back into the box then?" Rachel didn't wait for the girl to respond, instead she just lent down and began to repack the box wondering if she would manage to get any boxes unpacked at all today. After a few seconds she heard the blonde, shuffle and assumed that she was picking up the CD's.

"Not to be rude or anything ma'am, but do you mind me asking why you're here?" Rachel furrowed her brow at the girls question; she figured that it should be fairly obvious that she was moving in. Still it would be rude of her not to answer, this girl may be one of her neighbors after all.

"As of today, I live here, I admit it wouldn't be my first choice, but the rent is low enough for me to afford and my apartment is close enough to auditions, not that you're interested in that." Rachel blew out a breath, realising that she had been rambling to the girl, whose eyebrows had shot up as she had started speaking.

"You live here? Ma'am with all due respect, you do know that this place is a shithole. And with as young as you are I'm sure that some of the creeps who live here-" Rachel huffed and turned to face the blonde stopping her with a look of disgust.

"What you don't think I'm capable of living here? That I'm some weak naive young girl who is going to get taken advantage of? Thank you for your help but I need to go now." Rachel spat out at the girl, everybody back home didn't think she was capable of living in New York either, now this stranger was telling her too. The blonde looked scared and held her hands up in defense; Rachel just ignored her and snatched up her box of damaged CD's beginning to climb the stairs again.

She would show everyone back home that she was made for New York. And just who the blonde thought she was to tell her she shouldn't be here.


	4. Chapter 3

Quinn collapsed into the arm chair, looking at the clock. 5.37pm.

"Shit." She was over half an hour early for her therapy session, sighing she closed her eyes figuring that she may as well try to sleep for a little while. Her entire day up till now had been completely hectic, she had woken up in the middle of the night from a bad dream drenched in sweat and breathing heavily, and figured she may as well stay up the rest of the night. Then she had realised that she was going to be late for a job interview so had to rush out of her apartment in the first clothes that she had picked up. Not only that but she had collided with a short huffy brunette whilst she was trying to tame her hair a bit, Quinn grimaced hoping she wouldn't have any future run ins with the girl. After that she had gone to get the subway, only to find that she had left her purse at home and couldn't afford a ticket so she had decided to run to her interview. She had applied for a job waitressing at a cafe, the place was about 30 minutes from her apartment and looked like it would be somewhere that alcoholics and drug users frequented, but she could hardly complain, she needed money and if they were willing to hire her then she would serve any questionable customers with a smile on her face. She had arrived at her interview with hair that was even wilder, and her face was covered in a light sheen of sweat from where she had been running so hard, she had been over an hour late and as soon as she had gone in to try and see if she could still apply for the job, she had been sent on her way again. Knowing that rent was due within the week she had gone back to her apartment to grab her purse before heading out to the one place she knew she would get money. Quinn shuddered thinking back to the first time she had gone there.

_4 months prior_

_Quinn nervously bounced her leg, up, down, up down. It'd been a nervous habit she had since coming back to the US, doctors had told her that it was because she wasn't used to keeping still and that she would eventually adjust so not to worry, but she had been back in the states for roughly a year with no adjustments, so she had stopped listening to her doctors. She had been fired six months ago, after putting Matt into the hospital, since then she had been able to just make rent by selling any jewellery or valuables that she had, but now she had no other options to make money, nobody wanted to hire her. She had no money for clothes or food and pretty soon she would be thrown out of her apartment and onto the street. She didn't, she couldn't end up as one of the ex soldiers who was homeless and had to beg for money, which was why she was on the subway headed for Harlem. Everybody knew that it wasn't a place that you went if you were well off, you were likely to be robbed within an hour of being there; it was as though the locals could smell money on the rich. Quinn had no other option, she had missed last week's rent and was told to pay up by tomorrow or beat it, one of the other tenants in her block of apartments had heard of her situation and scribbled an address on a piece of paper before shoving it into her hand and walking off, she had tried to ask them but they told her not to talk to them and whatever she did don't say that they gave her the address. So here she was headed for Harlem, Quinn knew she had nothing worthwhile stealing, but it didn't mean that she was safe, she wasn't naive, and she knew she was attractive and so planned on being there for as little time as possible. As the train reached a stop Quinn got off and climbed the steps of the subway, looking around before heading in the direction she needed to go._

_"Just go, then you can leave."Quinn shook her head at herself, she had served in the army for Christ sake, she had performed dangerous tasks and risked her life countless times, but she was afraid of this. Looking around there wasn't anybody out, it was late, and she hadn't been able to come during the day so she had to go now. The wind was whipping at her face, and she tugged her coat tighter around herself, knowing that she didn't have much farther to walk. She had no idea what to expect when she got there, or who would live there, but she could only hope that they would be able to help her, she was willing to do anything, well almost anything, she wasn't at a low enough point to consider selling herself, but Quinn knew that if she didn't get money soon then she may have to resort to some less than pure acts. _

_Looking up Quinn saw a small building, with cracked steps leading up to a dull green door with peeling paint and what she assumed what a bullet hole leaving a reasonably sized chunk missing from the door. There was loud rap music blaring through the house, that she was able to hear from outside and she thought she could make out voices. Climbing the steps slowly, she rubbed at her face considering just going home before steeling herself and knocking loudly on the door three times. This was it, her last chance, she couldn't mess things up. The music stopped a second before the door was yanked open to reveal a tall man, who had a scrawny build and a rat like face, he stank of liquor and cigarettes._

_"What d'ya want?" Quinn winced from the smell of his breath, several of his teeth were missing she noted, and the rest were rotting away._

_"I was told to come here, I was told you could help me." The man sneered at her before grabbing her arm and yanking her inside of the crumbling building, pulling her into a room that was hazy with smoke and had and smelt even worse than the man. She couldn't see more than a foot in front of her and the smoke made her eyes water and sting. _

_"Hey! Puck, Barbie here wants our help." Quinn tugged her arm away from the vile man, glaring and trying to distance herself from him. Looking up she noticed a young man come into view, he was fairly tall and well built, he also had what looked like a dead animal on the top of his head she mused. _

_"Get out Joe." Ahh so that was the charming man's name, he glanced at her quickly before leaving the room hastily, leaving her alone with-Puck was his name? She shuffled nervously, it had been a mistake coming here, she had been stupid to think that somebody would be able to help her. _

_"Listen, sorry for wasting your time and all, but I actually have to go." Puck grinned at her, chuckling a bit. He didn't look scary but something about this place gave her the creeps, and he was here so she didn't exactly think he could be the best of guys._

_"Hey lady, Joe said you needed my help. I can give that to you if you stay, but first things first how the hell did you know about this place?" Puck still had a huge grin on his face, and for some reason that she couldn't tell you if she wanted to Quinn felt as though she was able to trust him. _

_"I can't tell you how I know, all I can tell you is that I need money, and I need it by tomorrow." Quinn bit her lip praying that he would actually help her. He wasn't smiling anymore but looked like her was considering what she had said. After what seemed like minutes, but was only a few seconds he nodded slowly._

_"Okay, lady-"_

_"Quinn." He furrowed his brow at her, raising one of his eyebrows._

_"My name's Quinn." He licked his lips slightly, before moving over to a nearby couch and sitting down, indicating for her to sit next to him, she did so quickly desperately wanting to know what his answer was._

_"Here's the deal...Quinn. I can get you that money, however much you need. But there's something I need you to do for me first. Before you say no, don't worry it isn't anything sexual, I mean I'm a crook but I'm not a pig, now do you think you would be able to agree to that?" Quinn didn't answer for a few moments wondering what he wanted, in the end she figured whatever it was sure beat living on the streets so she nodded slowly. He cracked another grin at her clapping his hands._

_"Great! Okay here's the deal. I have some guys coming round in about an hour, all you have to do is pretend to date me, see they'll be more inclined to do business with me if, well if there's a nice looking piece of ass." Quinn sighed, she had to be here for a lot longer than she planned to and knew that she wouldn't be getting home until well after midnight. _

_"Okay, I can do that. One other thing, if you ever call me a piece of ass, I will shove your head so far up that creepy fucker Joe's arsehole that you won't know where you start and he ends." Puck grinned again before nodding and muttering something under his breath._

_After another two hours and a half, Quinn had successfully fulfilled her end of the deal, Puck had done his business and the men had gone on their way, Puck had happily given her the money she needed plus enough cash to pay for another two month's rent and food supplies that she may need. By 2am she was back in her apartment, and for the first time in a couple of months didn't feel quite so stressed. _

Since that night, Puck had helped her out with money again, and had been more than happy to give her the money she needed, they had struck up a weird kind of friendship and she felt as though she could trust the young man, despite his less than legal ways of conjuring up money.

"Miss Fabray, Dr Chang is ready to see you now." Quinn nodded at the receptionist before heading into Dr Chang's room and sitting down on the leather armchair.

"Hello Quinn." She nodded at him in response not wanting to have to speak unless it was absolutely necessary. He chuckled, knowing that she wouldn't say anything having learnt that early on in their therapy sessions.

"Okay Quinn, today I'm going to try something a little different. Usually in therapy I try to get the patient to talk to me about what is happening in their life, but with you I see that this isn't going to work, so today I'm going to talk, you don't have to say a word. Is that okay with you? It is fine if it's not, this is about you and I don't want to do anything that you're not completely comfortable with."

Quinn just nodded her head, relieved that she didn't have to share anything.

"Okay Quinn, I'm going to start off by talking about what I already know about you. When we first began our therapy I was informed that you served for two years in Afghanistan, as a second lieutenant, advancing to become Major, you must have had to do something fairly significant to move up in the ranks, but it's okay you don't have to tell me what it was. You often had to go out on missions, that required you to engage in combat, you often would have been faced with the task of having to kill in order to survive, many ex soldiers struggle with this, having nightmares and reliving the events, you have been experiencing nightmares I understand-"

"Stop!" Quinn had become increasingly uncomfortable as he had continued talking, remembering some of the things that she had done, that she had been made to do. Her hands were tightly gripping the sides of her chair and her knuckles were white, she could feel her teeth biting hard against her lip, and was able to taste blood on her tongue. She couldn't breathe, gasping for air trying not to think back to the hell in Afghanistan.

_"Move, get the hell out of there soldier! Go go go get your asses the fuck out of here_."

Quinn shook her head, she was here, she was in New York, she was safe, nobody was going to hurt her here.

_Bullets were raining down everywhere, her ears were ringing and her heart was thumping loudly, her vision was marred with blood and she wasn't able to walk straight._

She clutched at her hair, trying to forget, closing her eyes tightly, she looked at Dr Chang quickly before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed to the floor shaking violently.

She was so cold, she hurt so badly.

ooOOOoo

Quinn shot up, gasping wildly, her head throbbed and it felt as though every part of her ached, even her bones. Looking around at her surroundings she realised that she was in a hospital room, there was a needle sticking into the back of her hand feeding some drug into her, and electrodes stuck to her chest that were monitoring her heart. She ripped the needle out of her hand, grunting at the pain. Her hand was now stinging, and there was blood dripping from where she had ripped out the needle, bringing her hand to her mouth she sucked at the wound cleaning the blood off and grimacing at the metallic tangy taste. She pulled the electrodes off more gently, still cringing at the pain, and jumped out of the hospital bed. Noticing her belongings on a chair to the side of the room she rushed over, shrugging of the overexposing hospital gown and quickly putting her clothes on, wanting to get the hell out of here. She headed over to the door, peering down the hallway, seeing that anybody in the hall was too preoccupied to notice her she slipped out walking swiftly down the hall to where she knew the exit was. Looking down to avoid any nurses or doctors who may try to stop her she managed to get out of the hospital quickly.

Quinn started walking, hoping to spot a cab, she knew that the nearest subway was a fifteen minute walk and with as tired as she felt would rather spend some of the money Puck gave her on getting home quickly. Seeing the trademark yellow of a cab, she jogged over to the taxi pulling it's door open and clambering inside quickly rattling off the address of her apartment to the driver.

Once she was at her apartment, she chucked a few bills at the driver, quickly getting out of the cab and rushing to get inside, so that she could attempt to sleep a little while, before she had to get up for the day or was woken up by a nightmare. She began the trek up the stairs to the 8th floor, hating that she had to live in a crummy building where the elevator decided to break constantly. Maybe in the future she would be able to move, somewhere warmer and with less people, she shook her head at the thought, she would be stuck here for a while yet. As she reached her floor and pushed open the door walking to her own apartment, she noticed that there was music playing, and quite loudly at that. She grumbled and walked to where it was coming from, knowing that unless there was complete silence that there was zero possibility of her getting to sleep. She banged her fist angrily on the door, not in the mood for loud neighbors and preparing herself to have a go at the offender.

As someone opened the door hesitantly, Quinn flailed her arms, not paying attention to whoever lived there and began a rant, knowing it was rude and more than a little mean to take out her stress from the day on this person, but she'd had the day from hell and this was the final straw.

"I don't know who the hell you are, but some of us actually need to sleep around here! Turn your God damned racket down, I can barely hear myself think!" Quinn was fuming, after she had finished spewing out she looked up to find the terrified eyes of the girl she had bumped into earlier that day. Quinn looked up at the sky groaning, this was just what she needed, it was like the universe was out to get her. Was her life not already difficult enough, now it had decided to top it off that she needed a neighbor who she had already got off on the wrong foot with, and now she had made things worse by screaming at them.

"I-I sorry!" The scared girl had shrunk in on herself, trying to avoid the angry gaze of Quinn. She took in the small brunette, sighing she rubbed her eyes and turned around walking to her own apartment.

"Whatever, just turn it down." She knew she should apologise, but then so should the brunette, who had shouted at her earlier when Quinn had just been concerned for her safety.

Once she was inside her apartment she went into her bathroom, grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills that she had been prescribed from the cupboard above the bath, she swallowed three and went into her room stripping her clothes off, and climbing into her bed. She figured that the pills would at least help her to sleep for an hour or two.


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey this chapter is a little bit, or a lot longer than the others, I spent half the night finishing it so it could go up today. This chapter is a little darker than the others so be warned, but don't worry I'm not mean enough to do anything to the characters...yet. **

**I obviously don't own Glee, if I did there would be a lot more faberry.**

**ooOOOoo**

Rachel blinked a couple of times, watching the extremely angry blonde retreat back to her own apartment, she gulped hoping she would never have to be on the receiving end of _that_ again. The blonde had seemed so friendly earlier; Rachel wouldn't have believed that she could be so scary if she hadn't just witnessed that horrifying display a few seconds earlier. She had been upset with what the blonde had said to her earlier, but after storming off had realised that she should have perhaps dealt with it with a tad more maturity, she had felt bad but figured she wouldn't see the blonde again so didn't let it bother her however. After realising that she was still standing in the hall with her door wide open, gaping at the space the blonde had long vacated, Rachel made her way back inside, quickly turning her music off, not wanting another visit tonight. She sighed making her way into the kitchen to make herself a coffee, she knew it was bad but it was a guilty pleasure that she couldn't help, besides nowadays she needed about six or more per day to stop her from falling asleep. She filled the cheap kettle with water, boiling it. Adding a heap of instant coffee to her favourite mug, one her fathers had bought for her when she was 16, it was a white mug with gold stars lining the sides. Rachel added two sugars to the mug, before pouring in the steaming water leaving it to brew. She quickly grabbed the soy milk from the fridge and added a generous amount to her coffee. Taking her drink into her living room Rachel sat down on her sofa, with a book and decided that she would read until she finished her drink and head to bed.

ooOOOoo

Rachel woke up positively refreshed, ready to start her day. She stretched her arms above her head hearing a satisfying cracking sound, and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She quickly jumped out of bed and stripped out of her sleep clothes, changing into her workout clothes that she had laid out last night. She hopped onto her elliptical, setting the timer for a half hour workout. She believed that fitness was highly important, especially if you wanted to perform, to be able to sing you had to be in good health, which was why she had a strict diet plan of three meals a day, with healthy snacking in between since she was a teenager, she exercised daily, and made sure that she got 8 hours sleep a night. Her life was structured, and well planned, she rarely did anything that she hadn't already prepared for. She didn't like for there to be surprises in her life, and was often impatient with other people who weren't as organised as her, it had proved highly beneficial in her life to plan things and make lists of everything she needed to do. Which was why she had been so stressed yesterday when she had fallen behind in the schedule she had for moving in, not to mention the blonde stranger who had waltzed or rather crashed into her day. Jumping off of her elliptical after her thirty minutes were up Rachel quickly grabbed a white fluffy towel and headed into the bathroom to shower for the day.

She peeled her sticky top off of her body, throwing it into the wash hamper along with her bottoms. She sighed as she stepped under the cascading water, letting the heat of the shower loosen her muscles. She always found showering to be the most relaxing part of her day, often able to spend up to an hour scrubbing at her skin. She reached for her berry scented shampoo, rubbing it into her hair, massaging her scalp with her fingers. She wondered if she would see the blonde girl again today, she hoped not, the blonde already disliked her and she had only spoken to her for a few minutes, later on facing the fury that was the blonde bombshell. Rachel rinsed the shampoo out, applying conditioner, to soak for a few minutes. She quickly grabbed her face wash rubbing it into her pores, practically able to feel any dirt that had clogged her skin overnight being washed away, she prided herself on her perfect skin she hadn't suffered from acne as a teenager unlike some of her peers, she suspected it was down to her rigorous hygiene regime. She quickly washed her body, shaving her legs in the process, rinsing the remaining products out of her hair before climbing out the shower and wrapping herself in the white fluffy towel, sighing at the nice feel of it against her skin. She quickly brushed her teeth before going into her bedroom and drying her hair, applying a light amount of makeup, she believed that just the right amount to enhance her features but leave her looking natural was enough, and putting on the clothes she had decided to wear. A short shirt, that ended just above mid thigh, paired with a plain black jumper and a pair of loafers. Checking herself in the mirror she smiled before going into the kitchen and grabbing an apple for her to eat on the way to her audition.

ooOOOoo

Rachel sighed climbing the stairs, the response to her audition had been another 'We loved your audition, you have a wonderful voice, however we don't quite think that you fit the look of...blah blah blah' Rachel knew that she looked different compared to the girls who always got the parts, but thought that her voice would make her stand out enough, it turns out she had been very wrong. She hadn't landed the role of a single part, and she must have auditioned for well over fifty roles, but still she still retained hope that she would get the role, eventually anyway.

Rachel scrunched up her nose, smelling what she really hoped wasn't marijuana, coming from the floor above, she continued to walk up the stairs assuming that whoever it was, would be in their apartment and nowhere near her. Looking up, she noticed an extremely tall male standing on the other side of the staircase, with what looked like a joint in his left hand, he noticed her too and turned towards her with a lecherous grin and nodded his head at her. She looked down, walking a bit quicker up the staircase, not looking back at the giant, she really just wanted to get into her apartment so she could relax, and avoid the other creeps who apparently lived here. Sighing in relief as she reached her floor, she headed over quickly towards her door, shoving her keys in the door.

"Shit." She angrily jiggled her keys, the door was stuck, this was great, of all the times for the lock to become jammed. After trying to budge the lock for a few more seconds, Rachel gave up, leaving the keys in the lock and slid to the floor against the wall, noticing that it smelt of marijuana up here too, strange she could have sworn it didn't smell like that a minute ago.

"Problem there hon?" Rachel's head shot up as she heard the slurred words, it was the giant from on the stairs, it seemed like he'd decided to follow her up. She stood up slowly, taking a couple of large steps back, trying to get away from the man, if he were to try anything Rachel knew that she would easily be overpowered. She reached into her bag rummaging around for the mace, that she carried around with her, finding it she quickly brought it behind her back, where the man wasn't able to see it.

"N-no I'm fine." Rachel cursed her stammering, she didn't want him to know that she was afraid, but the truth was she was terrified, she could feel her now clammy hand trembling around the mace, and her pulse had quickened.

"You look like yourrr in a bit o' trouble therr miss." She took another step back, as he stepped towards her, she jumped feeling something hit her back and turned quickly, only to realise it was just the wall.

"I'm fine, really."

"There's no need t' be like tha miss, I'm more than willing to lend a hand." He'd walked towards her as he'd been speaking and now loomed over her, she could smell his breath, it reeked of liquor and she winced turning her head away from him. He had moved his hand so it was pressed up against the wall, right next to her head, and he pressed himself closer to her. Not thinking Rachel quickly brought the mace out from behind her back, ready to try and get him away from her, he'd seen her moving and easily batted her hand away, making her drop the only weapon she had, she could only watch in terror as it clanked heavily to the floor and rolled uselessly away from her.

"That weren't very nice miss, someone should teach you manners." She yelped out in pain as he roughly grabbed both of her wrists and slammed them into the wall above her head, she could feel his grip tighten as she tried futilely to loosen his grip and free her hands. She couldn't even push him away, as he brought his face to her neck and inhaled deeply, she could feel his scratchy stubble brushing against her cheek, making her want to gag.

"Stop! Get away from me." She brought her leg up quickly, aiming between his legs, but her attempt to free herself was thwarted again when her slammed the lower half of his body into hers, pinning her completely against the wall. All she was able to do was desperately turn her head away from his. She cried out, not believing this was going to happen to her, as the felt his hot slimy tongue run down her neck, she shivered in disgust, feeling his grin against her neck.

"That's right baby, I knew you'd enjoy this." She was about to protest, and tell him how disgusting her was, but could only yelp when she felt him bite down hard on her neck, she whimpered cursing her luck again. He let go of one of her wrists, Rachel quickly tried to push him away, but her hand just hit his chest having no effect, he quickly grabbed her wrist and held both her arms in his one giant hand. She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see where his other hand was, and heard the distinctive sound of a zipper being undone. She was crying by this point and could feel hot wet tears streaming down her cheeks and dripping down off her chin, her whole body was trembling like a leaf and her wrists were throbbing with the pain of being held too tightly.

"Don't cry hon, I know a nasty slut like you is begging for this." She felt his hot breathe in her ear, and his chuckling. He was vile, she hated him she hated what he was going to do to her, she hated herself for being stupid enough to think that she was safe, she hated her blonde neighbor for being right, this wasn't a place that she should be and she wished more than anything now that she had listened. She cried out as she felt his rough hand grasp wildly at her left breast, squeezing it painfully, he reached underneath her sweater, grabbing at her skin that had broken out into a sweat, trailing his hand up her stomach until he was palming her breast over her bra, she thanked God that she was worn a bra today, it meant that is would take a few moments longer for him to be able to carry out his vile plan of raping her.

"I promise it won't hurt, much." He chuckled again, licking another trail up her neck. She felt his calloused palm move, and sighed in relief as her brought it out from under her sweater, only to freeze in horror and he brought it under her skirt to grab at her behind. She felt him fondle her backside over her panties, and cried out as she felt him reach for the hem of her underwear, planning on removing them.

She felt something rough shove her back against the wall, and assumed he had pushed her back against it. Her eyes were still closed, refusing to look at what was going to happen to her. She heard scuffling for a few seconds, and it was only then that she realised that he was no longer holding her wrists, in fact she didn't think he was even near her anymore. She hesitantly opened one eye, not sure if she wanted to look, at what she saw made both of her eyes go wide and she nearly cried in relief.

The blonde stranger from the other day, had him pinned against the wall by the collar of his shirt, she held him there for a few moments before kneeing him between the legs and throwing him in a whimpering mess to the floor. He clutched wildly at his junk before screaming out in pain as the blonde placed a well aimed kick to his nose. Rachel grimaced at the loud crack that she heard, and felt slightly sick as she saw blood covering his face. He had moved to a fetal position, trying to protect himself from the violent onslaught of attacks that the blonde was bringing. Rachel just stood limply by, not able to bring herself to move away, and not sure if the blonde would kill him. Another few kicks were heard as well as his pathetic spluttering and pleading, Rachel found that she hoped the blonde would kill him and gulped at the thought. The blonde had knelt down and was now raining punches against his face, before grabbing a handful of his hair, ripping it out, he screamed out in pain begging her to stop, her answer was to forcefully turn his head to face Rachel, holding his head against the ground.

"Look at her! Did she ask you to stop?" Quinn punched him again as she asked her question, looking at him with a look of pure hatred.

"Did she beg!? Cry out? Plead with you!?" She spat on him, her saliva mixing with the blood that was pouring down his face. Rachel thought she was truly terrifying at this moment, she could feel herself shaking but couldn't bring herself to run or look away from the blonde that was still wrecking havoc on her would be rapists face. She looked down at the pathetic creature, smelling ammonia only to realise that he had soiled himself in his fear of the blonde, she couldn't believe that she actually pitied him after what he had nearly done, she finally found her voice after what seemed like hours of watching the blonde beat the man half to death.

"S-stop." Her voice was croaky and shaky, she didn't think the blonde heard it, but after a second she stood up, kicked the man once more before turning to face Rachel.

"You okay?" Rachel squinted, it was obvious that she wasn't okay but she didn't think the blonde meant it like that, she knew the blonde was asking if she was going to be okay. She nodded numbly, not trusting her voice again. The blonde approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her, it didn't matter Rachel still flinched, the blonde stopped waiting for a few long moments before gently taking Rachel's hand and leading her down the hall, and away from the whimpering man, she took one last look behind her seeing him still huddled into a ball.

Rachel didn't know why she felt she could trust the blonde, but considering the fact that if it wasn't for her she would have been raped tonight she didn't question it, and so she allowed herself to be led to an apartment door. The other girl let go of her and rummaged around in her pockets for a minute before presenting a key that she put into the lock turning it and pushing the door open, she looked to Rachel her raised eyebrow indicating that she wanted her to go into the apartment. Stumbling in Rachel turned around to the blonde, who just walked past her down a hallway, flicking on the lights as she went. After a few seconds of just standing in the hall, Rachel followed after the girl, not wanting to be alone right now. She was obviously in this girls apartment, but from what she could see it didn't look like where somebody lived.

The walls were bare and the only furniture she could see was an old couch and a small TV, there was nothing else in the room, no photo's, no decoration. She couldn't believe that the girl actually lived here. She traipsed into where she heard cluttering, assuming that was where her savior was. The girl was in what Rachel thought was a kitchen, but considering the lack of oven or anything but a fridge, a kettle and a very beaten up looking microwave there was nothing to indicate that it was, she couldn't see that anybody would be able to survive here, there weren't even the essential supplies. The noise she had heard, was the girl looking through cupboards, she watched as the blonde pulled out two mugs, one was missing a handle and the other had chips and cracks in it, she also pulled out coffee before filling the kettle with water and placing it on a boil. Rachel just stood there in silence staring at the strange woman, as she filled the mugs with coffee.

"Are you going to stare at me all day?"

"Sorry." The kettle dinged and the girl went to retrieve it, it was only as she was trying to pour the water into the mugs that Rachel noticed the blondes hands were shaking, causing water to spill onto them.

"Shit!" Taking action Rachel quickly pulled the kettle away from the girl, filling up the mugs, placing it down again. She turned to her taking her hands, which were still trembling, in her own.

"Sorry." Rachel couldn't help but feel sorry for the blonde, she sounded so defeated as she spoke. Her eyes locked with scared hazel ones, looking into them she couldn't help but wonder why they looked so pained? She had no idea what to do to calm the girl, she didn't have a clue what she was meant to say in this situation.

"Thanks for saving me." The girl just nodded, not saying anything more about it, she took her hands back and walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch. Rachel just shrugged, and grabbed the coffee's before following after the blonde and sitting next to her.

"I'm Rachel."

"Quinn." Rachel nodded, taking a small sip of her coffee and sighing as it instantly warmed her up.

"Can I stay here?" Quinn turned to look at her, with a puzzled look on her face.

"I just mean, I'm locked out of my apartment, a-and I really don't feel safe with the idea of being alone, it's fine if that's not okay I mean I'm sure I can find a hotel or something, I really don't want to make you feel uncomfor-"

"Rachel!" She looked up to see Quinn smiling at her with an eyebrow raised.

"You sure do talk a lot huh? When you feel tired you can take my room, I'll sleep on the couch."

"No Quinn, I can't can't your bed, really after all you've done for me today it wouldn't be right."

"Nuh uh no way, if you stay here then my rules, and my rules are that you take the bed, you've been through a lot tonight, it's the least I can do." Rachel huffed slightly before nodding at the blonde, seeing that she wasn't going to budge any time soon.

"Fine."

"Excellent, but I won't have any clothes that fit you."

"That's okay, I can just sleep in my jumper." Quinn just nodded, and turned away. Rachel wasn't sure but she was sure that she could make out a faint blush on her cheeks. She quickly drank the rest of her coffee, it was black and stronger than she usually drank it, the blonde didn't have milk which didn't exactly surprise Rachel.

"Okay then where's your room?" Quinn stood up and led Rachel down the hall again, to a small bedroom that was just as empty as the rest of the apartment.

"Do you need anything? I'd offer you an extra blanket or pillow but I don't have those." Rachel just shook her head at Quinn who nodded and left the room.

"Okay then, right sleep." Great she was talking to herself now, grumbling she stripped off her skirt, and removed her bra, and dropped them on the floor not bothering to be careful, she knew that after tonight she would bin these clothes, she didn't want any reminders of today. She clambered into the small single bed, maneuvering to get comfortable. The sheets were scratchy against her skin, and the pillows really needed fluffing, not to mention that she was freezing, but she felt a lot safer here, knowing that Quinn was just in the living room and nothing was likely to happen.

ooOOOoo

Rachel shot up with a jolt at the sound of screaming, she panicked looking around the room remembering quickly that she was in Quinn's apartment. The noises were coming from another room, so Rachel quickly jumped out of the bed gasping as her feet touched the freezing cold floor, and headed in the direction of the screams. She walked up to the living room door which was closed, the screams had to be coming from Quinn, but she didn't know if she wanted to find out what was on the other side of the door. She had to help Quinn, what if something was wrong, the blonde had saved her after all which meant she was obligated to return the favour. Scolding herself Rachel pushed the door open, her heart broke at what she saw.

The blonde was drenched in sweat and shaking on the couch, she had tears covering her face was whimpering out broken words that Rachel wasn't able to decipher, every now and then she would let out a scream and convulse on the sofa. She was still in her clothes, not having changed into pyjama's, Rachel didn't even think she owned pyjama's. Rachel quickly padded over to the blonde desperate to help her and stop the blondes pain. She gently shook her shoulder, trying to wake her from her fitful sleep.

"Quinn. Wake up." She felt a rush of relief when hazel eyes shot open, a rush of relief that was short lived when in an unexpected move from the blonde Rachel found herself pinned to the floor with Quinn's hands wrapped tightly around her neck. She panted harshly looking into terrified eyes, Quinn looked like a trapped animal. The hands around her neck let go quickly and the blonde sprang nearly three feet back looking in horror at Rachel.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry." The blonde was wheezing and her chest was moving up and down quickly with her rapid breathing. Rachel could only look on, as Quinn fled from the room and ran into the kitchen, she heard retching noises and grimaced as smell of sick drifted into the room. She got up and ran into the kitchen, grabbing Quinn's hair and pulling it back as she continued to empty her stomach into the kitchen sink, Rachel rubbed up and down on Quinn's trembling back trying to soothe the poor girl.

"Shh, it's okay, you're okay." Rachel continued this mantra for what felt like hours. She couldn't tell you how long they stayed in that position, but when Quinn finally stopped throwing up her legs were achy from standing still so long. Rachel guided Quinn out of the kitchen and quickly found the bathroom where she handed Quinn a toothbrush and toothpaste.

"Brush." Quinn complied with her instructions, quickly washing out the taste of sick from her mouth. Afterwards she lent over the sink gulping large mouthfuls of water from the gushing tap. After she was done her face and hair were damp with water, Rachel thought she didn't look as though she would faint, but still dangerously pale.

"C'mon Quinn, lets go back to bed." The blonde nodded and allowed Rachel to lead her into her own room, not arguing before Rachel told her to lay in the bed, where she quickly got in too, wrapping her arms around the frail girl.

"It's okay Quinn, you can sleep, I've got you I promise." Quinn looked unsure but after a couple of seconds threw herself into Rachel's embrace, shaking slightly, Rachel just held on like she said she would until she felt Quinn relax, realising the exhausted blonde had fallen back asleep. Rachel felt her eyes droop from how tired she was, and decided to sleep too, knowing it was pointless trying to stay awake.

**There you have it, please review I would love to know what you think. Don't worry as if I would let anything bad happen to Rachel, Quinn arrived just in time. **


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, here's another chapter. Hopefully you'll like it, this one is from Quinn's perspective again. Rachel and Quinn are beginning to get a bit closer here. It's quite sloppy because I stayed up far too late finishing it, but I didn't want to sleep on an unfinished chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee :(**

**ooOOOoo**

The first thing that Quinn noticed as she woke up, was that one she wasn't screaming or crying out, and that her skin wasn't completely drenched with sweat. The second thing was that she was being held tightly in someones arms, and her legs were tangled with somebody else's.

"What the fu-" She groggily rubbed at her face, waiting for her bleary vision to come into focus. There was a small brunette tangled around her, clinging on for dear life. After carefully extracting one of her arms from underneath the brunettes body she pushed herself up, to get a better look at the girl. Rachel. Quinn groaned as memories of yesterday came rushing back along with a pounding headache, one thing she didn't remember though was how they came to share a bed, after she'd thrown up everything was blank. Rachel mumbled something unintelligible and snuggled further into Quinn, she sure was clingy, but Quinn guessed it was kind of nice to be held like this; it had been so long since she had even hugged someone, the only contact she had were monthly hospital appointments and she hadn't attended one of those in over four months. Quinn nestled back into the warmth of Rachel's embrace sighing at the feeling of being near somebody else, not caring that the brunette was practically a stranger. She glanced at a barely functioning clock in the corner of her bedroom, it was 6.15 which meant it was the longest sleep that she'd had in the last year, for once she didn't feel the ache of her bones when she woke up or feel just as tired as when she went to bed, her stomach was cramping slightly and her head was throbbing but that felt like a gift in comparison.

"Mmm morning." Quinn looked up into warm brown eyes, staring at her. Rachel's voice was quite husky and soft after waking up, it was a big change from how it had been yesterday.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Rachel scrunched up her nose, waiting a few moments before answering.

"Like shit, and like I nearly got raped. How about you?" Quinn inhaled sharply at Rachel's words, but could easily see that Rachel wasn't too badly affected, she was talking in a light tone and even smiling, but Quinn couldn't help but dread to think what would have happened had she not come home at that point in time. She had honestly wanted to kill Rachel's would be rapist, she recognised him from somewhere and knew that he was a complete creep...Finn she thought his name was. She would have to get in contact with Puck, he owed her a favour and would be more than happy to teach that scumbag a lesson, Puck was a criminal she knew that much, but from what she knew of him he would never take advantage of women and made it his business to hurt anyone who thought it was okay to. Quinn remembered one time that she had visited him, he had a man who thought it was wise to hurt Puck's sister tied to a chair in one of the rooms, she didn't want to know what had happened to him, but was able to hear the screams he made as some of Puck's men had tortured him.

"I'm good." At Rachel's raised eyebrow Quinn chuckled lightly, smirking at the young brunette.

"Really I'm fine, I feel okay."

"Okay that's good then." They just laid there in silence, holding each other for a few more minutes taking comfort in the other's presence.

"Alright Quinn I'm starving and I know that you won't have anything that I'm able to eat here, so how about we go out to grab breakfast? I know a great vegan cafe."

"Okay." Rachel nodded before getting out of the bed. Quinn instantly noticed the lack of bottoms that Rachel was wearing, staring at her long tan legs, how could somebody so short have seemingly endless legs, she snapped her head away quickly, feeling herself blush.

"Quinn?"

"Mmm yeah?!" Quinn answered quickly, still refusing to stare at Rachel lest she catch another glimpse of near perfect tan skin.

"Why are you staring at the ceiling?" Quinn could feel herself getting more flustered than she was already, her cheeks felt hot and she licked her dry lips trying to wet them a bit before answering. Is this what years of distancing herself from people had done to her, as soon as she was faced with the smallest hint of bare skin she was practically drooling and then acting like a shy awkward child who had been caught doing something wrong.

"You're...y'know" Rachel looked at Quinn seriously for a few moments before breaking out into a fit of giggling. Quinn balked at the brunette, wondering what she had said that was so amusing. Rachel stopped after a little while, realising that Quinn had been completely serious.

"Quinn it's okay, I'm quite comfortable with my body, I workout so I'm fairly confident, I have nothing to be ashamed of. Beside's we're both women so there isn't really an issue here." The words did little to comfort the blonde, instead she found herself feeling even more perverted, she was sick to be staring at her, especially after what had almost happened yesterday.

"You shouldn't feel so comfortable around me, I barely even know you, I only just learnt your name yesterday for Christ sake." Not to mention that Quinn was enjoying the view of Rachel's exposed lower half far too much to be deemed appropriate. Quinn didn't notice that Rachel had moved closer to her until she felt her hand turning her head away from the ceiling to look at the brunette.

"Quinn?" The blonde just nodded not wanting to say anything further.

"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, It's just I feel like I can trust you."

"You shouldn't." Quinn got out of the bed quickly walking past Rachel before she could say anything in response, as soon as she was out in the hallway she threw herself against the wall repeatedly banging her head against it.

"No Quinn, you cannot be this girl's friend." She wouldn't mix anybody up in her problems, it wouldn't be fair. She hadn't let anybody into her life since she was 10. She wouldn't mix Rachel up in her issues, she would go to breakfast with her and after that they could part ways, Quinn would never have to see her again.

"Are you okay?" Turning around Quinn saw that Rachel was now thankfully dressed once more, her hair was slightly mussed and her clothes were ruffled, Quinn thought she looked adorable.

"Yeah, let me grab a coat for you, it's cold out." There was no point in bothering to change clothes, it was still early out and Quinn honestly didn't think that she had any that were clean right now, so after Quinn gave Rachel her only coat, and slipped on a pair of her many combat boots they set off in search for food.

ooOOOoo

Quinn and Rachel sat at a corner booth in a small cafe, Rachel had ordered a vegan salad with an ice tea to drink, and Quinn hadn't ordered food claiming that she wasn't hungry, much to Rachel's protests. It was a lie, but she wasn't going to tell the brunette that the truth was she had barely been able to eat recently, any meals that she ate in the early morning she soon saw again. The blonde was content to watch Rachel as she ate, she'd noticed that Rachel pulled faces depending on what she was eating, every time she enjoyed something a small smile would grace her lips.

"This is really good Quinn, are you sure you don't want some?" She just shook her head in reply, really not fancying being sick again.

"Your not busy today are you?" Busy? Oh apart from therapy and hunting for a job no not busy at all.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On what it is that you want me to do." Quinn smirked at Rachel slightly, teasing her was highly amusing Quinn found, occasionally Rachel would huff or stamp her foot in exasperation and Quinn couldn't help but find it funny, and not at all cute.

"You're not funny." Rachel did in fact huff, turning away from the blonde which only garnered a laugh from Quinn.

"No, but you sure are." Rachel scowled at Quinn, grabbing an olive from her salad and throwing it at Quinn's head. Quinn looked at Rachel with wide eyes, before barely suppressing a smirk, and reaching for the offending olive that had landed on the table.

"I cannot believe that you threw something at me, but you do realise what that means?" Rachel gulped audibly eyeing Quinn's hands.

"Q-Quinn um what are you er what does it mean?" Quinn grinned at the diva before launching the olive across the table where is collided with Rachel's cheek.

"Alright that's it!" Rachel chucked several pieces of lettuce at Quinn, most of them becoming lodged in her hair, in response Quinn grabbed the ketchup bottle on the table squirting it at Rachel's face, which was one of shock, Quinn ducked at the brunette threw a handful of salad at her, instead it landed on the people sitting behind them.

"Crap! I am so so so sorry." The blonde couldn't help but snort as Rachel continued to spew out an apology, earning her a slap to the arm from the brunette. Rachel's eyes went wide as an unimpressed waiter approached their table, giving both of them a disapproving look.

"Excuse me, but I'm going to have to ask both of you to leave." Quinn who had only just stopped laughing, and after seeing Rachel's embarrassed face, flew into spiels of laughter again she quickly stood up and threw a few bills on the table before grabbing Rachel's arm and dragging her out of the cafe.

"Oh my God! I cannot believe we got thrown out!." Rachel looked mortified, and Quinn was keeled over clutching at her sides from laughing too much. After a few more minutes Quinn finally calmed down enough to be able to look at Rachel again, she wiped the tears from her eyes, she couldn't remember the last time she had laughed like that in fact she couldn't remember the last time she had genuinely enjoyed herself.

"C'mon trouble let's go get cleaned up." Quinn smiled, setting off at a brisk pace down the street, that Rachel struggled to keep up with given her short stature.

ooOOOoo

After they were back inside of Quinn's apartment, she had pushed the brunette into her bathroom, handing her a towel, before shutting the door and telling her to wash because the ketchup made her look like a serial killer.

Currently Quinn was sat on her sofa waiting for Rachel to return, she'd changed into a black tank top leaving on the rest of her clothes, that hadn't suffered in the food fight. She would have done something, but she didn't enjoy TV, she owned no books as she couldn't concentrate for more than ten minutes before she would become shaky and need to move around, hell the only thing that she did other than trying to find the money she needed to survive was work out, it was the one thing that she was capable of doing without anything distracting her and helped for her to feel like she wasn't just sitting around wasting time. Sighing after Rachel still wasn't back in the next five minutes the blonde got off the couch and dropped to the floor figuring if she had time she could maybe fit in about fifty press ups.

One, two. As she continued to pump her arms lifting and lowering herself, grunting with the effort she failed to notice that Rachel had come into the room, wearing the shirt the Quinn had lent her, which didn't fit but was better than having a top covered in food. 21, 22, 23...30.

"Quinn?" Christ the blonde was sure that Rachel was trying to give her a heart attack, she was some kind of ninja, most people wouldn't have been able to sneak up on her, she usually had good senses and was always on the lookout, which made her wonder why that was different for the brunette. She pushed herself up off of the floor and turned to face Rachel, wiping her hands against her jeans. She noticed the other girl wasn't looking at her face but instead was staring at her torso, or to be more exact her arms. Her heart thudded as she realised what Rachel would be able to see, feeling instantly sick, she hadn't wanted the brunette to know anything of her past she scolded herself on being so stupid quickly pushing past Rachel and into her own bedroom, locking the door behind her and sinking to the floor.

"Quinn open the door. Please Quinn you're scaring me." She heard the door handle rattle before Rachel began insistently knocking on the door, after that failed she turned to pushing her body weight against it, hoping that it just may get the door to budge.

"Go away Rachel." Quinn buried her head in her hands, digging the palms of them into her eyes trying to burn the memory of Rachel's horrified face out of her mind. Of course the brunette would be disgusted, how could she not, the blonde disgusted herself.

"Quinn please, can we just talk about this?" Rachel banged against the door again, each blow making Quinn's head pound. She had been so careful to wear tops with long sleeves, this is what happens when she let's her guard down, the blonde knew that she shouldn't have gotten close to Rachel, everything she did always ended up causing her further pain, and now Rachel would be disgusted at her and want to leave, and never speak to her again. By now Quinn was shaking, and had tears running down her cheeks, she was a mess and was quickly beginning to panic, her breathing becoming ragged and harsh. She doubled over emptying her stomach on the floor, gasping for air and moving her hair out of her now sweating face.

"God dammit Quinn! Open the damn door." Rachel had heard the vomiting and was trying to get in even harder, becoming frustrated at not being able to reach the girl. With a trembling hand Quinn lent up quickly unlocking the door before falling in a crumbled shaking heap to the floor just as Rachel crashed into the room rushing to her side.

"Oh God." Rachel pulled Quinn out of her own sick, pulling her into her arms and wiping the matted hair away from her forehead. Quinn's whole body felt like it was aching, she felt too cold, now Rachel was seeing her like this, a pathetic mess. She buried her face into Rachel's lap clinging onto the brunette, knowing that if she let go than the girl would probably leave her here alone.

"D-d-dont lea-leave me." Quinn felt Rachel grip onto her almost painfully. She shook her head as her vision began to blur, not wanting to pass out, then Rachel would go, then-

"S-stay! I c-cant." Rachel shushed her, Quinn noticed that the brunette had started crying, and raised one of her shaking hands putting it into Rachel's. There they sat, holding each other and not saying anything, neither of them needed to.

After Quinn had stopped hyperventilating, her breathing now wheezy but steady, Rachel moved her so that she was able to lift her bridal style in her arms. Quinn too tired to say anything clung to Rachel as she carried her out of the room and into the bathroom, placing her gently on the toilet seat. Rachel knelt in front of Quinn, taking her hands in hers. Quinn noticed that the brunette had really soft and quite small hands.

"Quinn look at me, I'm going to run you a bath okay? Nod if that's okay." Quinn winced at her head pounded when she moved it slightly, but nodded her head anyway. Rachel smiled at her, before moving away to run her bath. Quinn felt instantly cold, shaking slightly.

"R-Rach-" Coughing wracked the blonde's frame, she brought her hand up to her mouth and she grimaced noticing a few specks of blood, she wiped it away quickly before Rachel had a chance to turn around and see.

"I'm right here Quinn." After a few more seconds the brunette was in front of her again and Quinn felt a lot better. Quinn stared at Rachel's face, she had really long eyelashes. The brunette reached for the hem of Quinn's top slowly, looking into the blondes eyes, Quinn considered not letting Rachel remove her shirt, but figured thing's couldn't get any worse, so instead nodded slightly. Rachel quickly took off the shirt, Quinn noticed her taking in the scars that marred her torso, but was grateful that the brunette chose not to comment, instead just reaching for Quinn's jeans; unzipping them and pulling them off with a tug. Quinn felt more vulnerable sitting there in her underwear than she had in her whole life, even when she was first drafted into the army she hadn't felt this bare or open. Rachel didn't make a move to remove the rest of her clothes, but stood and turned the taps off. Quinn feeling a bit stronger stood up on shaky legs, slipping and grabbing onto the sink to hold herself upright. She felt Rachel wrapping her arms around her and guiding her to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

"I'm going to take off your underwear now okay?" Quinn nodded but still shook as Rachel brought her hands to her back, unsnapping her bra and removing it, before moving to her panties, dragging them down her legs before throwing them on the floor. Quinn looked down, not wanting to have to look at Rachel.

"Do you need help getting into the bath?" The blonde shook her head, climbing very slowly into the tub, she slipped at one point nearly flying under the water but Rachel's strong arms held her steady as she lowered herself into the hot water. Quinn sighed as warmth flooded back into her body, the water relieving the ache of her bones. Rachel used a nearby glass to wet Quinn's hair, before rubbing shampoo into it. Quinn moaned at the feel of fingers massaging her scalp, she would have to thank Rachel in someway after all of this.

"Quinn?"

"Mmm y-yeah?"

"I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, but I promise I'm not going to leave you okay, and now it's my turn to help you, I'm here for you so we can do this together, whatever your going through, you don't have to be afraid anymore now Quinn." Quinn didn't reply, but felt a few tears drip down her cheeks from happiness, believing what Rachel said about not leaving her, she finally had somebody to help her.

**Yay, poor Quinn though, at least she has Rachel now to help her. Next chapter will find them revealing more about themselves to each other. Please review, it would be much appreciated :) **


	7. Chapter 6

**Okay not much happens in this chapter but it's necessary for Rachel to be able to understand more about Quinn, it's been a couple of days since I updated and this chapter isn't exactly long, but I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee, bummer I know. **

**ooOOOoo **

Rachel stood in Quinn's drab kitchen, desperately searching for anything that would constitute as a healthybalanced meal, so far she had found coffee, and a packet of six month old stale crackers. Rachel worried that Quinn didn't eat, she had been in her apartment for the last two nights and Rachel didn't think that she had seen her eat a single meal, she would have to bring that up with the blonde, but not right now. Right now Quinn was fast asleep in her bed, it was the first time that Rachel had seen her sleep almost peacefully and so had decided to make her a meal for when she woke up, the only problem was that there was no food. Rachel really didn't want to go another day where Quinn didn't eat; yesterday whilst helping Quinn bathe she had been able to make out the protruding bones of her ribs, the blonde had a lot of muscle, her arms were toned and strong, she could make out a clear six pack on her abdomen and her shoulders were fairly broad, the thing that worried Rachel was that although Quinn had muscle everywhere else was still scarily thin, too thin. Rachel sighed deciding that she would take a trip to the nearest supermarket in order to restock Quinn's fridge, at least then if the blonde wanted to eat she would have to choice to.

She walked into the living room trying to find a pad of paper or pen, or in fact anything to could use to leave a message for Quinn telling her where she was in case she woke up. It seemed that food wasn't the only thing that Quinn didn't have, she didn't have any stationary either. Luckily enough due to Rachel's organised personality she knew that she had her notebook and a pen in her bag, that she had left by the front door of Quinn's apartment, she retrieved them quickly and scrawled a note for Quinn, It read.

_Quinn if you wake up, have some coffee, I have gone to get some food for us both I won't be gone more than an hour, don't worry I will be back soon. Then I think that we need to talk. Rachel._

She put it on the counter by the fridge before leaving for the shop, grabbing Quinn's coat on the way out.

ooOOOoo

Rachel got off the subway, pulling the coat tight around her to try and keep out the winter chill, cursing the fact that New York had to be this cold at this time of year. She rubbed her hands together before burying them in the coat pockets and walking at a fast pace to the shop.

By the time she walked into the supermarket her cheeks were ice cold and numb, she couldn't flex her fingers from the cold and her feet were in pain from the biting chill. Nevertheless Rachel grabbed a basket and began her hunt for foods that she thought Quinn would like. She didn't even know if she had any dietary needs, what if she was allergic to nuts or lactose intolerant, in that case Rachel decided to play it safe and only buy vegan friendly foods and steer clear of nuts...and gluten containing foods, and sweets or chocolate because what if Quinn didn't like them. Rachel groaned, it seemed like anything she went to pick out could possibly have problems, she had no idea what Quinn liked and so was struggling even choosing one item, currently the basket was completely empty and she had been in the shop for ten minutes already. _Screw this_ Rachel thought, there was no point trying to cater for Quinn, instead Rachel just picked out the foods that she liked herself, grabbing enough for the blonde as well.

After another twenty minutes she was queuing, will a basket full of food, she had salad, gluten free bread, soy milk, and a whole other array of food options. Rachel smiled at the young cashier, he smiled back albeit a little flustered.

"H-Hello miss, are you having a nice day?" She smiled at his nervousness, watching him pack her food into separate bags.

"Yes I am thank you, I trust that you are also having a pleasant day?" The boy just nodded with wide eyes, packing the final pieces of food into their bags.

"Uhm that will be $45.99 please miss." Rachel nodded, retrieving her card out of her purse before slotting it into the machine and entering her pin before placing it back in a quick practiced movement.

"Thank you miss, have a nice day."

"Thank's, you too." She grabbed the bags, struggling a little with their weight, but she could bear the short walk to the subway, then all she had to do was climb the ridiculously high flight of stairs. _Fuck._ As she stepped outside she squealed as cold pellets of rain pummeled down onto her skin. _Double fuck. _She grumbled as she began the walk to the subway, blowing a stray bit of wet hair out of her eyes, she should have known it would rain, though she doubted that Quinn would have had an umbrella. The coat that Quinn did happen to have really wasn't waterproof and Rachel could feel her skin becoming cold and wet and the rain seeped through the thin material of the coat, she would really need to talk to Quinn about investing in some weather proof essentials. It was pouring torrential rain by the time she was halfway to the subway, her hair was matted, her hands were numb from the cold and heavy weight of the bags, her skin was frozen to the bone, and water was dripping down her face and into her eyes, making them sting and blur, she couldn't see where she was going nor who she was about to walk into.

She felt rather than saw herself thud into a solid body, she managed to regain her balance before falling and stumbled forward slightly, still keeping a hold of the shopping bags in her hands. She huffed out a breath before swirling around ready to shout at the offender, despite it possibly maybe being slightly her fault that they had bumped into each other.

"Hey shithead, don't you watch where you're walking?" Rachel was in a terrible mood from her bad luck today and really just wanted to get home...wait back to Quinn's apartment. The man's shouting broke her out of her thinking, she couldn't help but remember the voice.

"Hey don't blame me lady, if you'd been looking you would have seen me, it was clearly your fault, so-wait Rachel!?" Rachel dropped her bags and quickly moved her hair out of her eyes so she was able to see whoever it was that had obviously recognised her, her eyes bulged and her face quickly broke out into an ear splitting grin.

"No way, Jesse? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Ohio." Rachel couldn't believe that he was here, last she had seen of Jesse was when the two of them had broken up before he had left for California in order to fulfill his dream of making it big on stage. Naturally Rachel had been devastated and stayed in her room eating soy ice cream for a week, but she had kept up with what was going on in all of her past friends or boyfriends lives, wanting to know if they had succeeded in life or not, from what she'd heard Jesse was back in Ohio managing a school show choir called Vocal Adrenaline.

"Nope, I got here just last week. I've been auditioning trying to get a role in plays and such."

"Me too! It's so good to see you, I know barely anybody here."

"Listen Rachel, I have to run but are you busy tomorrow?" Rachel didn't bother thinking knowing that whatever Jesse wanted to do she would be more than happy to. Out of all her past boyfriends, which really wasn't a large number, Jesse had been the one she was most in love with, they had dated for close to two years and she had never completely gotten over him.

"No, I'm completely free."

"Excellent, give me your phone number, I'll call you and we can go out, have dinner and whatnot, I want to know what my favourite diva has been up to these past couple of years." Jesse passed his phone to her and she quickly entered her number, giving back to him.

"Wonderful, it really was good to see you again Rachel, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Jesse." She felt strong arms wrap around her, she returned the embrace with enthusiasm, having to tiptoe slightly because of their difference in height. He soon let go and waved before setting off in the opposite direction to her. Rachel squealed slightly, excited to be seeing Jesse tomorrow and grabbed her bags before rushing back to Quinn's to await her phone call.

ooOOOoo

Rachel bounded up the stairs giddily before shuffling into Quinn's apartment with the key that she had borrowed.

"Quinn!? Are you up?" She figured that she would be; seeing as she had taken longer than planned, she had wanted to be back within an hour but it turned out to be more than two, probably three.

"Quinn?" Rachel entered the kitchen dumping the bags on the side counter, and walked into the bedroom. The blonde wasn't there, the bed was unmade and cold so she had been up a while. She walked back into the living room, maybe she had missed her and she was on the sofa, no such luck though. Rachel jogged to the bathroom praying that Quinn was in there, she pushed open the door but the room was completely empty. Rachel began to panic, as far as she knew Quinn didn't have anywhere to be. She walked out of the bathroom, heading for Quinn's bedroom again, just to double check, because she may have not noticed her, what she did notice was the pair of combat boots no longer by the apartment front door, but she chose to ignore them, Quinn had probably just tidied them away.

"Fuck fuck fuck no." Who was she kidding, she knew the blonde wasn't here and there was no use trying to find her, all she could do was wait until she turned up. Where the hell was she though? Rachel traipsed back to the living room collapsing into the sofa. She felt like something was gnawing at her stomach, and she had a horrible foreboding feeling about where Quinn could be.

ooOOOoo

Rachel shot up like a bullet, hearing crashing and swearing coming from the front door. She wiped at her mouth feeling drool from where she had been asleep.

"Gross." She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and stretched languidly like a cat, before hopping up. Quinn had obviously just gotten home, and although Rachel was filled with relief she couldn't help but also be pissed at her for not leaving a note or anything to tell Rachel where she was. She stormed into the hall planning on giving Quinn a piece of her mind and stopped in her tracks at the sight of her. Quinn was completely disheveled; her hair was in disarray and Rachel thought she could see leaves in among the golden curls, her eyes were red and swollen, her clothes were covered in mud, slightly torn and her t-shirt had bloodstains on it. The biggest worry was that she was stumbling allover the place and hadn't even noticed Rachel yet, she was currently failing at trying to take her boots off, instead falling on the floor with a loud bang.

"Quinn!" The blondes head snapped her way and she grinned at Rachel before clumsily standing up and making her way towards the brunette.

"Heyyy Rachelll." As the blonde neared her Rachel noticed the distinct smell of liquor on the blonde, realising with a start that Quinn was completely drunk. Rachel stuttered as Quinn hugged Rachel tight, nuzzling at her neck.

"W-what are you doing?" Rachel's arms hung loosely at her sides, she couldn't believe what Quinn was playing at, yet didn't have control of her limbs. She shivered slightly as she felt the blonde inhaling the smell of her hair, and pulling her more into her arms.

"God Rachel, you smell really good." Rachel gulped, her hands were clammy and she knew that she needed to push Quinn away, she didn't even know what she was saying she was that drunk. She knew she was selfish in not doing so, but instead choosing to let Quinn continue.

"I was so scared Rachel." Rachel winced at Quinn's tight grip on her, it was now bordering on painful, she wriggled trying to loosen Quinn's arms but she only held on more.

"You scared me so much! I thought you'd gone." Rachel felt Quinn's shaking against her, clutching desperately at her back.

"Quinn it's okay, I'm here, I just went out for food." Finally Rachel moved her arms, wrapping them around Quinn so she could shush her.

"I t-thought you had-"

"Shhhh it's okay, I'm here for you." Rachel heard and felt Quinn's sobs wracking her whole body, she didn't think that she had ever heard a noise so tragically heartbreaking before, Quinn's wails of anguish and utter pain were that of somebody completely broken. To Rachel that seemed like such a weak word to describe what Quinn was feeling, what the blonde felt was immense, she was shattered, torn, wrecked, completely blown apart and more than anything in unbearable pain. She didn't know how to help, so she just held on tightly to the inebriated blonde.

ooOOOoo

Rachel sat on the sofa with Quinn's head in her lap, combing her fingers softly through blonde tresses and picking out the twigs and leaves, she had no idea how they had gotten there. After she had pried the blonde's near death grip on her she had proceeded to pass out. Rachel had panicked for about ten minutes before struggling to drag Quinn to the sofa. She had been sitting with Quinn nearly in her lap for the last forty five minutes, waiting for her to wake up so that they could talk. Rachel had been so terribly worried about Quinn, she still was in shock over how she had come home, she dreaded to think why she looked the way she did and prayed that she hadn't been hurt by anybody.

"Rachel?" She looked down at the sound of Quinn's rough husky voice, seeing hazel eyes red from crying, but nevertheless beautiful, staring up at her. She watched as the blonde winced and grabbed her head, from the obvious painful aftereffects of drinking, she couldn't help but think it served Quinn right for worrying her so much.

"Hey, how's my little drunk feeling?" Quinn scowled a bit at her, still holding her head.

"I'm fine."

"Really so you don't have a headache?" The blonde shook her head at her, afterwards clutching at her head more.

"Okay then I guess you won't want these aspirin or water." She pointed at the objects on the floor, before she could so much as make a move for them Quinn had them in hand and quickly swallowed the pills before chugging the water down in less than five seconds. Quinn gasped for breath and wiped the water that had spilled down her face and chin.

"How long was I passed out for?"

"About an hour."

"Mmm okay." Quinn groaned as she lent up and removed herself from Rachel's lap, she stood wobbling a bit from the alcohol still in her system but it seemed that she had sobered up quite a bit from her emotional breakdown and nap.

"Thanks for looking after me, I'm gonna go bed-"

"No Quinn." Rachel had different idea's, she was going to make Quinn tell her just what was going on, the only thing she knew was that the blonde was struggling through something, and if she wanted to help then Rachel needed to know everything that was going on, it was just that Quinn wasn't willing to share it seemed, so Rachel was going to make her. She wouldn't accept distractions or excuses, she wanted to know what was going on now, and god dammit she nearly always got what she wanted, this was no exception.

"What do you mean 'no' listen I'm tired we can-"

"No you listen Quinn." Rachel used an authoritative tone making the blonde stop talking instantly, she looked at Rachel knowing that she wouldn't win, so nodded slowly and sat back down.

"I've been staying here for the last couple of days, and each night you have these dreams, I don't know what about but you shake and sweat and you hardly seem to sleep. You barely eat! I don't think I have seen you eat one thing for the last two days, your home is bare, you have zero sentimental objects. You don't seem to live like a normal person Quinn. Not to mention that your arms they're...they're-I don't know what happened to you Quinn and I probably don't want to, but I **have **to if I have any chance of helping you, you need to tell me what's happening."

Rachel hadn't looked at Quinn once during her speech but now she was she noticed that the blonde was pale, her legs were shaking and her knuckles were white from how tightly she was clenching her hands.

"Okay Rachel." She gulped not sure if she was ready to know what happened to Quinn, but she needed to be strong for her because Quinn wasn't strong at the moment so Rachel would be strong enough for the both of them.

"You should sit." Rachel nodded numbly before plonking herself down next to Quinn, who was rigid and breathing harshly.

"I'll warn you Rachel, it's not a nice story."

"That's okay Quinn, you can tell me." The blonde looked into Rachel's eyes, the fear in them made Rachel consider just sending Quinn to bed, before she shook her head needing to hear what the blonde was about to say.

"Okay then, I guess I should start with when I was 18-"

"Is that when-"

"Rachel if you want to hear, just please let me tell you without saying anything, I don't think I can tell you otherwise." She nodded at Quinn letting her carry on.

"Well at 18 I was living in upstate New York with my mother and father still, I didn't know what I wanted to do except get away. I left home, on my eighteenth birthday I packed up and left my parent's home without a word. I didn't have any job prospects, it wasn't to do with grades but nobody would hire a kid just out of school who hadn't been to college. College wasn't an option because I had no money. I eventually found a job waiting tables at some shitty bar, it paid poorly and the men there always eyed up the women but it was money and meant that I was able to buy an apartment and start to finally after eighteen years under my parent's rule, live my own life. They'd never let me make my own choices, I always had to uphold the Fabray name, if I didn't well it wouldn't go well. My parent's drank it didn't matter, to other people we were the perfect Christian's, they could do no wrong, they were alcoholics, and when I finally got away from them it didn't matter that I had gone from rich girl to working in a bar, because I was free."

Rachel shuffled closer to Quinn and wrapped her arms around the shaking blondes frame before bringing her head to rest against her chest and laying them both down on the sofa.

"Go on." Quinn sniffed and licked her lips a bit before continuing.

"I kept the job for about eight months, everything was fine, I was finally happy. But they had to make cuts and I ended up losing my job, I thought I'd end up on the streets but I didn't. There was this guy, he told me that I could do something with my life, make a difference and escape from here, me being a naive stupid eighteen year old asked him how I could do this. He was a recruiter Rachel, he wanted me for the army, and I joined! It was the worst mistake I've ever made in my life. Anyway I moved to base, having nowhere else to go and I trained as a recruit until I was 20, I got stationed in Afghanistan as second lieutenant. Before then I didn't know what it was like, I'd only ever had to do things like deal with riots or where there weren't enough police. You should have seen it there Rachel, it was chaos it was like hell, it was a nightmare that you couldn't wake up from, the devil himself couldn't come up with a place worse than that. I can't tell you what happened Rachel, I just can't. I've never even told someone what I just told you, all you need to know is that the scars, all of my shit, it's from that-that fucking place."

Rachel felt the anger coming off of Quinn in waves, and rubbed her hand on her arm, trying to calm her and let Quinn know that she was here for her. Rachel could only imagine what Quinn had been through, she didn't know though, Quinn had probably seen people killed...killed people. She had probably lost friends, and her innocence whilst at war.

"Thank you for telling me." Quinn nodded into her neck, still shaking.

"Come on Quinn, I think you're right, we should sleep." Rachel stood up pulling the slightly drunk girl along after her into the bedroom, climbing into the bed fully clothed and exhausted, Quinn following her and snuggling up into her arms.

"Goodnight Rachel."

"Goodnight Quinn."

"Rachel?"

"Yes."

"Thank you...for everything." Rachel didn't reply knowing that Quinn didn't want her to, she just closed her eyes, pulling Quinn closer, trying not to think about what Quinn through whilst in the army.

**There you go guys, please review I'd love to know what you thought of it. Not sure what the next chapter will entail, guess you'll just have to wait and see.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Okay this is the latest chapter, it's a little different because rather than just being from Quinn's view it will switch between Rachel, and Quinn. There will be scenes of a sexual nature in this chapter so beware if you do not want to read. Please review, I love to hear what you think. I was upset to hear of Cory Monteith's death, my heart goes out to his family, friends, and Lea all of whom must be heartbroken. **

**Disclaimer: I own none of Glee, or it's wonderful cast. **

Quinn stood under the hot cascading water of the shower, letting it soothe her aching muscles and wash away the stench of liquor that enshrouded her. She'd left Rachel in bed, wanting to be alone after yesterday. She couldn't believe that she had told the brunette about her past, it was the one thing that she had promised herself not to do, it was her problem to deal with and not anybody else's, least of all Rachel's. She felt ashamed and disgusted with herself at the state she had come home in last night, it was yet another thing she would have to make up for.

She'd woken up yesterday immediately noticing the lack of a bed hogging brunette and had gone into the kitchen expecting to find her there, to be met with a note. She hadn't worried, at least not until Rachel was still gone after more than two hours. She had gone out hoping to find her, which was like finding a needle in a haystack, except if you burnt the hay you'd be left with a needle, if Quinn burnt New York she would be a serial killer and would still not have found Rachel. She hadn't found Rachel but on her way home, she had found a bar. She smiled, she had liked that bar, the music was crappy and it stank of cigarette smoke and cheap alcohol, and it was probably breaking several health and safety codes, but it had been nearly empty save for a few middle aged men, and the bar keep was friendly and not in a perverted way which was nice. She'd stumbled home expecting to pass out, sleep off her hangover and carry on as she had before Rachel burst (collided) into her life. She had been pleasantly surprised, Rachel had not.

Quinn groaned at her throbbing head, she had already been sick twice today, only throwing up the remaining alcohol in her system, she still felt ill but there was nothing more in her body to expel. Her whole body felt weak, and she had struggled to get out of bed, she guessed that today she would have to eat something.

The water began to run cold so she shut off the shower and climbed out of the bathtub, walking over to where she kept her only towel.

"Shit." The towel wasn't there, great, she had no clothes or anything to cover herself with, all of them were in her bedroom. She shivered as goosebumps broke out against her flesh and she realised that there was a high possibility that Rachel would get a good view of her stark naked body, the brunette had seen her out of her clothes but the situation had been a little...a lot different. Quinn quickly made her way out of the bathroom, dripping a trail of water behind her and slipping a little, she rushed into her bedroom and made a quick dash for where she kept her underwear. She rushed to get panties on, she managed the first leg and then fell to the floor with a crash and her underwear half way up her legs. Looking up she saw Rachel blinking slightly at her.

"Quinn?"

"Nope." Still on the floor she dragged her panties up her still damp skin, not enjoying the feeling of cotton sticking to her body, but at least now some of her was covered.

"Why are you..."

"Rachel please just close your eyes and pretend that you didn't just see me naked and sprawled across the floor." The brunette nodded dumbly and turned back around, settling into the covers. She quickly finished getting dressed, and told Rachel that she could turn back around, which she did, whilst also trying not to laugh.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Quinn nodded at her. Rachel got out of the bed, fully clothed and went to the kitchen. She pulled all sorts of food out of the fridge, and began making some sort of breakfast. After another ten minutes they were both sitting on the couch eating silently, and ignoring the other's presence. It took another fifteen minutes for either one of them to break the awkward silence.

"I have to go out today, I'll be back late." Rachel didn't look keen on what Quinn had just said however she nodded and chose not to argue. Quinn didn't feel like telling Rachel that she was headed to see Puck, a criminal to a. Get money because she was running low and didn't see herself getting a job anytime soon, b. to ask him to sort out the scum who had tried to rape Rachel, c. to get away from Rachel.

She felt slightly bad for wanting to avoid her, after she had helped her but Quinn couldn't help but want to send Rachel away from herself, she was self destructive and hurt everything and everyone she was close to. That's why she needed Puck, he was amazingly enough surprisingly good at giving advice, better than her therapist at any rate. Her therapist who she had not seen in a while because she had skipped the last couple of days therapy, in favour of Rachel, and getting drunk.

"Do you want me to stay here? Or should I leave whilst your out?"

"Whatever you want, I don't mind." Quinn didn't say anything else before grabbing what she needed and rushing out of her apartment in seek of advice.

**ooOOOoo Rachel's POV**

Rachel let out a frustrated scream as the blonde left. She had wanted for Quinn to tell her that she should stay here for when she got back, instead the blonde hadn't even given her an actual answer. Angry at Quinn, she flung the remainder of her breakfast across the floor, where it left a sticky colourful mess. She had wanted another chance to talk to Quinn today, but it seemed like that wasn't going to be happening. Resigned to the fact that Quinn would be gone for some time Rachel left the blonde's apartment with her bag and shuffled down the hall to her own, she figured that she needed to at least change clothes, and hell maybe she could actually unpack...if she could get in that was. She angrily shoved her key into the lock and with the force at which she turned the stiff lock unlocked with an unhealthy crunching sound. She quickly pushed into her own apartment and sighed at the boxes that still weren't unpacked. She traipsed to where her clothes were and quickly grabbed a couple of sweaters, and a pair of jeans and one skirt along with panties and a bra. Figuring that they would cover her for another couple of days she grabbed a bag from one of the boxes and shoved her clothes in it before going back to Quinn's, knowing that she would wait up for her regardless of what time the blonde returned.

_2 hours later_

At the sound of her ringing phone Rachel growled at being disrupted from...waiting for Quinn and doing nothing. She sighed and figured that whoever was calling would offer a distraction from her boredom.

"Hello?"

"Hi Rach, it's Jesse." She face palmed, she had completely forgotten that her ex had said he would call her today.

"Jesse! It's good to hear from you." She heard chuckling on the other end of the line, and smiled glad that Jesse had called. It had been too long since they parted and she couldn't help but hope they could go back to being the inseparable friends they once were. Aside from Quinn she didn't know anybody in New York, and the blondes knowledge of musical theatre was seriously lacking compared to Jesse's.

"I know Rachel, it's been too long. Anyway I was wondering, if you aren't busy later that is, if you wanted to come for a drink with me?" Rachel took the phone away from her face and let out a silent squeal bouncing where she sat.

"Yes! I mean of course, I'd love to, and I'm not busy."

"Excellent, I know this great bar, if you give me your address I can pick you up say eight?" Rachel rattled off her address, smiling all the while, and said her goodbye's to Jesse before hanging up. This was fantastic, she'd been stressed lately and a night out would be the perfect remedy. However she realised that she had a slight issue, she had nothing to wear for tonight, she just hoped that she'd have a dress to wear at her apartment.

**ooOOOoo Quinn POV**

Quinn sat tight whilst Puck ranted on about how she shouldn't have gotten Rachel messed up with her life.

"I mean fuck Q, does she even know about your past?"

"Yes! I had to tell her, she knows I was in the army Puck." She hadn't expected her mohawked young man to be this upset about things. She knew that it was risky to involve Rachel in her life but she thought that Puck would be all for it, he was always saying that she needed to get a life.

"Yeah, but what about me? Does she know about the jobs you do for me, does she know that you break the law to get by?" Puck inched closer with each word he said until he was directly in front of her, yelling in her face.

"I'm not a fucking criminal Puck!"

"Sure. But you're sure as hell not a saint." Quinn lashed out aiming a hard right hook at Pucks face, he swiftly blocked it and shoved her back on the sofa.

"Calm the fuck down Quinn! I don't care what you do! But she will if she finds out, it's better to end things now." Quinn sighed, she didn't consider herself a criminal unlike Puck, however since she had known him she had done a few illegal things in order to get the money she needed to get by. It was nothing major the worst thing being part of a drug deal that Puck had ongoing at the time. But Puck was right, there was no way that the brunette she was fond of would want anything to do with her when she found out that she occasionally broke the law to sustain herself.

"What if she doesn't care? It's not like I'm hurting anyone." Puck sighed whilst sitting next to Quinn, he wrapped an arm round Quinn's shoulder that the blonde quickly shrugged off whilst scowling at the criminal.

"That's not the point. Quinn nobody like her wants anything to do with people like us."

"I am _nothing_ like you." Quinn hissed into Pucks face, clenching her hands at her sides so that she didn't punch him again.

"Chill out." Puck raised his hands in a gesture that said, don't hit me.

"You are like me you know, you may not like it. But you're nothing, your scum like me. You may have served in the army darlin' but you've got shit now, so there's no use acting like you're any better than me."

Quinn yelled at Puck as she dove forward bringing her hands around his neck and squeezing hard, Puck grabbed uselessly at her strong grip and moved his leg to aim a hard kick at her gut, Quinn coughed at the force of it and flew back gasping, she'd been left winded however that didn't stop her from attacking again. This time she stood up and quickly got in a fighting position, Puck was up a couple of seconds after standing similarly.

"You know I'm right. People like her, don't end up with losers like us." She jabbed a quick uppercut at him with her left fist that he blocked, she followed with a right hook whilst simultaneously ramming her knee into his stomach. Both hit their mark and Puck stumbled back slightly clutching at his split lip. He grinned at her before aiming a kick that knocked her off her feet, whilst she was down he was able to aim a punishing blow at her left eye before she knocked him back.

"I'm not like you!" Quinn once again aimed more punches but all of them were blocked, and she began to feel tired, the left side of her face was throbbing and she couldn't open her eye.

"Wrong!" She growled and used both feet to propel herself off the ground, she brought her legs in front of her and kicked out wildly at Pucks chest, he crashed backwards and she landed roughly on the floor before scrambling up to see Puck nearly unconscious and laying against the wall.

"Okayy Q...you win, but you know i'm right about her." Quinn nodded at Puck accepting his defeat, she walked towards him and offered her hand, he grabbed it and began to stand. Quinn knew it was playing dirty but she felt Puck deserved it fully, so with that she aimed one last punch at his nose and felt a satisfying crunch under her hand.

"Shit you fucking bitch!" Puck grasped his bleeding face and whimpered with watery eyes at his broken nose. Okay so maybe he hadn't deserved that, but it still made Quinn feel slightly better, despite her now throbbing hand and face.

"Sorry."

"Damn fucking right you should be sorry, Jesus. Make some fucking use of yourself and go and get me some ice!" Quinn didn't argue and went into Pucks kitchen, rummaging through his freezer where she found a bunch of ice packs, he kept them due to the regular fights he would find himself in she grabbed two. She went back into the room and chucked a pack at Puck who hurriedly pressed it against his crooked nose, and kept the other for her face.

"You've really gotta learn to control that temper of yours Q." The blonde nodded at Puck knowing he was right, about yet another thing.

"Don't you need to go to the hospital?"

"Nah I'll be fine, I've had worse and lived. We're survivors Quinn, the world keeps trying to get rid of us, but here we are."

"I guess."

"That Rachel chick, she's different from us, we don't fit into her world Quinn, and you shouldn't try to, it won't end well I'm promising you that."

"I don't know what to do Puck, I thought that I could just help her out and then send her away but now I don't know if I want her to go."

"It's for the best, you'll only wreck her Quinn."

"It's just I haven't had a friend in so long, she could be that for me, I want her to be that for me."

"I know Quinn, but think about her, what if she finds out about what you do here, then you both end up hurt. Besides you have me, that's more than enough." Quinn grinned at the joking criminal, she had to admit although he could be a bastard Puck was the closest thing she had to family right now.

"Yeah but you're one ugly fucker." She yelped as Puck punched her arm, and rubbed at it.

"You always were the charmer. Onto other business, you still going to that shit they call therapy?"

"Yeah, but I've missed the last couple of appointments."

"Just give up on it, those therapists are just freaks with problems that get off on other people's issues." Quinn chuckled at him, he'd made it clear that he didn't like her being in therapy, however she had an inkling it was more to do with the fact that she was putting herself in danger there. If they found out that she sometimes worked for Puck then they'd be able to get her arrested, and that also put Puck himself in danger.

"I have to go, it's required since I put that jackass from my work in the hospital."

"Hell yeah! and he was lucky you didn't kill him. Fine whatever, carry on with your mind voodoo, who knows with all your shit you're probably a therapists wet dream. "

"Thanks Puck."

"Not a problem kiddo."

"You're only a year older than me."

"Yep and don't you forget it." Puck ruffled her hair, before she poked his injured nose making him yelp in pain and move away from her.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

**ooOOOoo Rachel POV**

Rachel finished applying a light layer of makeup to her face, smiling at the result. She looked in her mirror and felt that she was appropriately dressed for drinks with Jesse. She had managed to find a mid thigh tight fitting black dress that she was donning and had curled her hair, she was wearing heels to make her taller and now her makeup was done she was ready to go out. She checked her clock, it was 7.47 pm which meant she still had about 10 minutes. She checked how she looked once more, and left her bedroom to wait for Jesse.

She had left a note for Quinn when she got back, telling her not to worry and that she had gone out with an old friend. It slightly irked her that the blonde was still out, and hadn't actually told her where she was, for all she knew Quinn could be in trouble, however she refused to let Quinn ruin her night out with Jesse.

A light knock on the door told her that Jesse was here to pick her up, and she quickly jogged to answer it. Jesse was wearing a navy blue fitted suit, with a crisp white shirt, his hair was slicked back and curly as ever, and she could smell his cologne.

"Hi, you look absolutely gorgeous." Rachel giggled at his chivalry and blushed slightly.

"You look very handsome yourself Jesse." He smiled at her and brought a bouquet of white tulips out from behind his back.

"Your favourite's."

"They're beautiful."

"They don't nearly compare in comparison to you." Rachel smiled at him still blushing, she couldn't believe he had remembered something like that. She gratefully took the flowers from him and went into her apartment, signalling for him to follow, she placed the flowers in a vase and filled it with water putting them on her kitchen side.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, is the bar close?"

"Yes, it should take less than thirty minutes to get there, I'm sure you'll love it." Rachel nodded and followed Jesse out of her apartment, excited for wherever they were having drinks.

They both sat in a dimly lighted booth across from each other, Jesse had been right Rachel did love it here, it was fairly relaxed but was classy enough that there weren't any troublemakers there. The two of them were sharing a bottle of red wine between the two of them, and conversation was flowing freely and easily.

"So Rachel, how it trying to land a Broadway part going for you?"

"Not so well I am afraid, nobody wants to hire a five foot Jewish girl with a big nose." Rachel crossed her arms looking glum, she really didn't understand why _nobody_wanted to give her a part.

"Then they're idiots, you're the most talented girl I know Rach." Jesse reached forward and took Rachel's hand in his, gently massaging the back of Rachel's hand with his thumb. Rachel blushed slightly and looked at Jesse, making eye contact with him.

"I've missed you Rachel."

"I missed you too Jesse."

**ooOOOoo Quinn POV**

Quinn stumbled into her apartment, aching slightly from her fight with Puck. She furrowed her brow at Rachel's absence and just assumed that she must be at her own apartment. Too tired to do anything she collapsed into her sofa, she noticed a note and picked it up reading it quickly.

_Hey Quinn, despite your earlier rudeness, I will be back later. I have gone out with a friend, I do not feel that you need to know where or who, however I don't want for you to worry._

_Rachel_

Quinn groaned, the brunette was mad at her for earlier. She had a suspicion that she may have been but hoped that Rachel wasn't cross, her hopes were for nothing it seemed. Maybe Rachel would be fine when she got back home, she really didn't want to have an argument, her day had been long enough. Feeling her stomach rumble with pain she got up and slowly walked into the kitchen, she went to the fridge knowing that Rachel had been shopping and that she may be able to make something. She smiled when she saw a readily made meal with a note saying 'for Quinn's dinner' it seemed that despite the brunette's anger at Quinn she had still made dinner for her.

Quinn sat down with her food and turned on the TV, despite knowing she wouldn't really watch. She turned to the news, apparently some kid had been killed yesterday from what she gathered watching whilst eating.

Tomorrow she would have to go to therapy, she had missed too many appointments and if she didn't attend then she could be sent to prison, and that really didn't appeal to her. Therapy was useless, she still had nightmares and panic attacks regularly, she couldn't stand large crowds and loud noises, but it was nice to know that at least her therapist as well as Rachel still had hope that she could recover. Dr Chang was nice, not like some of the other therapists she had been to, others liked to pry, but he was okay with whatever Quinn was willing to share, however last time didn't exactly go well for her, instead she had woken up in the hospital.

Quinn yawned, her eyes were closing, not of her own accord, so she figured that she may as well nap for a bit, well until Rachel got home anyway.

ooOOOoo

Rachel threw her head back laughing at a story Jesse was telling her of one of his old college friends stealing his professors wig. The two of them had finished two bottles of wine between them and Rachel was fairly drunk, Jesse had moved so that he was sitting next to her, and the two of them had been non stop laughing for about twenty minutes now. As Rachel blinked back tears from her eyes and clutched at her sides, she noticed that Jesse had moved slightly closer to her, she could now smell his cologne and make out his droopy eyes; a sure sign that he was drunk.

Rachel froze as she felt his large hand brush over her thigh before he settled his palm to rest against her leg, she shivered slightly enjoying his touch and goosebumps broke out where his skin was touching hers.

"You look so beautiful tonight Rach." Jesse was slurring slightly into her ear, Rachel grinned at him leaning into him and sighing at the feeling.

"I'm so glad that I came out tonight Jesse."

"Me too." Jesse buried his face into her hair, and pulled her into his arms, holding her against him. He lightly stroked her thigh with his hand, going a little higher with each brush against her skin.

"Mmm you should stop that." Rachel had her eyes closed and mouth slightly open, she was enjoying Jesse's touch immensely and wanted the exact opposite of what he had said. She hadn't been with anybody in over a year, and the slightest touch was her curly haired ex had her excited.

"Why, you seem to be enjoying yourself." Rachel smirked wanting to get payback on Jesse, and knowing just the way. She turned her head towards him, opening dark eyes and staring at him before slowly licking her lips. She lent so that she was able to whisper in his ear, slightly licking it in the process.

"Because if you don't I'm going to fuck you right here." She husked, her voice was pure sex and she smirked at she felt Jesse fidget uncomfortably where he was sat. She had successfully flustered him and was extremely happy in doing so.

"Yes..well um. Ma'am can I have the bill please?" The woman who had just walked past nodded at the two before heading off.

"Jesus Rachel." Rachel bit her lip contemplating what she was about to do and figured why not. She nuzzled his neck slightly before bringing her hand to cup Jesse's slightly hard appendage over his slacks.

"F-fuck." She squeezed him gently before slightly rubbing her hand over the bulge underneath it, feeling herself become increasingly wet.

"Ahem." They both jumped back, with Rachel blushing madly, to look at the woman from before holding the bill and purposefully ignoring what had been happening a few moment's before. Jesse looked at the price quickly before bringing out a few notes and placing them on the table, the woman nodded and took the money before walking off again.

"C'mon Rach, my place is probably closer." The brunette nodded at Jesse who pulled her up from the booth and they both rushed outside wanting to get back to Jesse's as quickly as possible. Jesse hailed a cab that they quickly clambered into.

"Jesus Rachel, I want you so badly." She nodded her head at him and tried not to give into the temptation of having sex with him in the back of a cab, she didn't think that would end very well for either of them. After another minute Jesse turned her face to his and pressed his lips against hers, Rachel responded by deepening the kiss and slightly brushing his bottom lip with her tongue, as soon as he opened his mouth she began to caress their tongues together moaning slightly at the feeling. She once again cupped him through his trousers, he slightly grind his dick into her hand.

"Listen you two, get out of my cab before I spray you down." Rachel jumped back again smiling sheepishly at the cabbie who had stopped outside Jesse's apartment, the curly haired man threw the fare at him before dragging Rachel after him and up the stairs, they made short work of them and he quickly unlocked his door before both of them raced inside.

Jesse quickly grabbed Rachel by the backs of her thighs, easily lifting her up so that she had both legs wrapped around his waist, he carried them to the nearest wall and pushed Rachel against it before crashing their mouths together again.

"Mmph fuck...I...need you." Rachel nodded wildly and reached down for Jesse's belt making quick work of it before throwing it across the room. She fumbled with the button and zipper on his trousers, tugging them undone aggressively before shoving her hand down the front of his pants to cup him over his growing hardness. Jesse grunted slightly thrusting into her hand, and tightening his grip on her thighs. Rachel trailed kisses from his mouth down his jaw and nipped harshly at his neck, leaving a faint mark. She moaned as she felt his short nails scratch against her skin as he reached for her panties, pulling them slowly down her legs.

"Fuck me." Jesse grinned at Rachel before placing her back down and dropping to his knee's. Rachel's eyes closed tightly and she threaded her hands through his hair, gripping tightly as he licked through her soft wet folds.

"Shit!" Her eyes rolled back as her sucked her clit into his mouth and brought one of his hands up to trail two fingers through dripping folds.

"Fuck you're so wet Rach."

"Nghh Jesus!" Rachel bit her lip hard as Jesse entered her with both fingers, drawing them back out before slowly pushing in again. Rachel's whole body felt like it was on fire, she was trembling with anticipation. Her moans grew in volume as Jesse began to increase the pace at which his fingers were moving, still sucking on her clit. Rachel banged her head back against the wall twisting it side to side, she needed to cum so badly. She grabbed Jesse's head and pushed him away from her pulling his fingers out from inside her. Her eyes darkened at his face shining with her arousal and she grabbed him, pulling him up again and kissing him, moaning at her own taste. She pushed him backwards to a nearby couch, pushing him down to lay before she straddled his thighs.

She winked at him before yanking off his trousers and boxers, her mouth watering at the sight of his dick, he was fairly large, being seven inches. Making good use of her lack of a gag reflex Rachel nipped at the soft skin of his dick trailing her tongue up and down before taking the head in her mouth and sucking lightly.

"Fuck!" Rachel grinned around his dick at Jesse's cussing, he thrust more of himself into her mouth and Rachel sunk lower taking most of his dick in her mouth, using her hand to rub at what she wasn't able to fit. After a good five minutes of giving Jesse head he pulled her back up and quickly rid her of the remaining clothes she was wearing leaving her naked. She blushed slightly at his darkened eyes roaming her body, and shook in anticipation.

"You're beautiful Rachel." She bit her lip slightly, and reached for his jacket pulling it off of him, and slowly undone the buttons of his shirt before taking it off of him and dropping it on the floor. She couldn't help but feel slightly nervous, when the two of them were dating they had never had sex, instead she had lost her virginity in college, as Jesse trailed his hands up her thighs caressing them all her nerves disappeared only to be replaced by lust. She shivered as Jesse pulled a condom from seemingly nowhere and opened it quickly before rolling it easily onto his hard dick. With gentle hands he brought her so that she was straddling him, his head sliding through her folds, Rachel moaned lightly at the thought of what came next and slowly lowered herself whilst gazing into Jesse's eyes. She let out a gasp at having him sheathed inside of her, closing her eyes tightly and biting her lip at the pleasurable feeling.

"F-fuck Jesse." The said man placed his hands on her hips, squeezing them to encourage her to start moving. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she began to slowly roll her hips, picking up the pace quickly. Jesse was entranced by her lithe body moving against his and moved his hands to clutch at a slightly sweating back, whilst gazing at lightly bouncing breasts.

"Christ Rachel."

"Yeah." She moved her hands to his chest so that she was able to move faster against him, panting with the effort. Her brow furrowed and she threw her head back in pleasure, moving so that his dick impaled her harder. She bounced up and down on his dick her hair sticking to her forehead and her moans bouncing of the wall paired with Jesse's grunts of pleasure. In an unexpected move Rachel found herself being quickly turned so that she was on her back with Jesse on top of her, she wrapped her legs tightly around his back, whilst he continued to thrust in and out of her. Rachel dug her nails into his shoulders whimpering, she was able to look into his darkened eyes and couldn't not make eye contact as he thrust into her repeatedly. The moaned as she felt the familiar coiling feeling in her stomach, making her toes curl.

"I-I'm gonna fuck!" Rachel cried out, clutching onto Jesse as her orgasm blindsided her, she shook violently screaming out and throwing her head back.

"Fuck Rachel!" The curly haired man climaxed shortly after her cumming hard. He slumped on top of the brunette panting harshly, and spent. Rachel untangled her legs from around his waist and collapsed back into the sofa cushions, breathing hard.

"Jesus."

"Yeah." Rachel laughed lightly before closing her eyes, she felt exhausted from the long but extremely enjoyable workout.

"Mmm I'd go for round two, but give me time to recuperate." Jesse smiled at her and grabbed a nearby blanket to cover both of them.

"Sleep for a bit Rachel, then we'll see about round two." He smirked at her before hugging her into his arms, she soon drifted off, Jesse following quickly.

**Okay so there you have it, the latest chapter. How will Quinn react to Rachel and Jesse? I'd love to hear your reviews, I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter we will see more of Jesse and Rachel, and duh more Quinn.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Okay next chapter, this one is a little more dramatic, there may be some conflict between certain people **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Glee, or it's talented cast :( **

**ooOOOoo Quinn's POV**

Quinn paced back and forth in her kitchen, nearly burning a hole into the floor with her pace. She'd woken up over four hours ago, and Rachel wasn't back. She had figured that she had returned to her apartment, and was still cross at Quinn, but when she had gone to check Rachel hadn't been home. Quinn was now officially panicking, she had no idea where the brunette was and could only think the worst. It was three in the morning, and Rachel was likely to attract some creep to her, Quinn really hoped that she was somewhere safe.

Quinn heard a knock on the door and hurried over to it praying that Rachel was home and unharmed.

"Oh it's just you."

"Jeez Quinn you could be happier to see me."

"I was hoping it was Rachel." Quinn moved aside to let Puck into her apartment. After she had woken up at around eleven she had waited for a while before calling her friend and expressing her worries, the mohawked criminal had promised to come over and try to calm her down and help find Rachel. One of the things she loved about Puck was that she could count on him to help her when she needed it without him asking too many questions.

"Well I'm beginning to feel replaced, what's so good about this Rachel chick?"

"She doesn't break the law for one."

"Ouch, that hurt Quinn." Quinn just scowled at the man before shaking her head and dragging him into her apartment.

"Do you have any glasses?"

"Huh?" Quinn glanced up and saw Puck smiling wryly and holding a bottle of cheap vodka in his hand.

"Top shelf on the right." Puck nodded and ambled into the kitchen. Quinn collapsed into her sofa, leaning forward and holding her head between her knee's.

"So Quinn you mentioned that some punk tried something with your girl."

"She's not my girl."

"Yeah but it sounds like you want her to be."

"Shut up Puck, don't make me break your nose again."

"Cool it Quinn, I'm just playing." Puck came back in the room holding two glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other, he plonked himself on the couch, too close to Quinn for her to feel comfortable. He unscrewed the bottle and filled both glasses to the brim, handing one to Quinn. She took a small sip grimacing at the burn of the vodka, she'd never gotten used to it, it always felt like paint stripper was being poured down her throat.

"So babe where-"

"Don't call me that, dammit Puck." Quinn elbowed Puck in his ribs and smiled as he let out a grunt of pain.

"Okay okay, jeez you sure are stronger than you look." Quinn just turned to look at Puck and evened him with a glare.

"Where do you think your little crush could be?"

"Fuck you Puck."

"I wish, you made it clear you don't want any of the Puckaaurus Rex, it's your loss though."

"Puck! I didn't call you hear to crack jokes alright. She might actually be hurt I don't even know where she is!"

"Hey Quinn, it's okay alright, we're gonna find her I promise-"

"But what if we don't P-"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No you've always been painfully honest." _sometimes too honest _Quinn didn't enjoy knowing about some things that Puck had done, but she guessed it was no worse than what she had done whilst serving in Afghanistan.

"She'll be fine Quinn. She's probably just out, being mad at your dumb ass."

"Gee thanks Puck, you sure know how to cheer me up."

"Maybe I don't, so just shut up and drink, you'll soon feel better." She quickly finished the rest of her drink nearly gagging at the disgusting taste of it, her head felt slightly light afterwards and she had a warm burning feeling in her chest that was somewhat pleasant.

"You know Puck, for once I think you may be right."

"I could toast to that Quinn." Puck grinned at her before refilling her glass and clinking glasses with her, causing vodka to spill on the floor. They both just shrugged and chugged down their drinks.

**ooOOOoo Rachel POV**

Rachel blinked and groggily opened her eyes.

"Hey sleepyhead." She turned her head and smiled at Jesse, who was holding two cups of steaming coffee and a bowl of fruit salad. She sat up and accepted the coffee, breathing in the aroma and sighing in content. She ached slightly from the strenuous activities of last night, but it was more satisfying than it was painful. After about an hour of napping both of them had woken up for round two, that was then followed shortly for round three and so on.

"Morning. What time is it?"

"It's about one in the afternoon."

"Shit!"

"What's wrong?" Rachel shot up from the couch, much to her bodies disagreement, she instantly started searching for her clothes which were strewn haphazardly around Jesse's apartment.

"Rachel what are you doing?"

"I have to go, I need to get back to Quinn's, I was meant to go back there yesterday but I didn't and now-"

"Rachel hold up, who is Quinn? Wait are you seeing someone?"

"No! it's complicated."

"Well then uncomplicate things Rachel, because I don't know what the hell you're talking about, are you sleeping with this Quinn guy?"

"Girl."

"What?"

"Quinn's a girl."

"So let me get this straight, you're sleeping with a girl and yet you-"

"I'm not sleeping with her Jesse!" Rachel gulped when Jesse crossed his arms at her.

"Tell me what is going on Rachel."

"I it's just."

"Rachel!"

"I've just been staying with her for the last few days okay." Rachel groaned internally, she knew that she would now have to explain everything to Jesse, which meant recounting her horrible experience with that creepy guy who had tried to do a certain something to her.

"What why?"

"Does it really matter why?"

"Yes! Who even is she?"

"She's my neighbor and she happens to be very nice okay."

"Oh, okay so what is nice in your neighborhood, what did she offer you half price on drugs? Or maybe she-" The sound of a slap echoed through Jesse's apartment. Rachel stared at him with wide eyes and a throbbing hand as Jesse clutched at his cheek, whilst struggling to get his words out.

"Y-you bitch. What if this leaves a mark Rachel? I have auditions! I can't show up with a hand print on my face!"

"Stop overreacting, there's barely even a mark, and what you said was highly uncalled for. Quinn happens to be a friend, who helped me actually, not that it is any concern of yours Jesse St James!" Rachel just gave Jesse a smoldering glare before leaving his apartment and slamming the door behind her. She couldn't believe the nerve of him, Quinn wasn't a creep, _damn him and his pretentious bullshit. _Rachel remembered that Jesse had been a lot like this in high school, he had judge anybody who wasn't up to his standard, he had only ever given drama kids the time of day, everybody else was beneath him in his opinion. Rachel felt disgusted that she had slept with him, he was such a pig.

**ooOOOoo Quinn's POV**

Quinn shot up with a jolt at the sound of her apartment door slamming open and a sobbing Rachel running into her bedroom. She felt something warm and kinda hard moving underneath her and looked down to see what she was laying on.

"What the fuck!" Quinn jumped back as though she had been burned, she had apparently fallen asleep laying on Puck, and that really wasn't somewhere where she wanted to be.

"Quinn, what are you screaming at? Christ my head..."

"Get the hell up Puck."

"Yeah in a minute, just let me-"

"Now!" Puck moaned at her before struggling to his feet and holding his head. Both of them turned at the sound of cries coming from her bedroom, Puck turned to Quinn with a strange glint in his eye, before Quinn was able to stop him Puck had run from her living room in the direction of Rachel.

"Puck, get your ass back here!" Quinn scrambled after Puck, crashing into her own bedroom and bumping hard into Puck's back.

"What are you doing just standing-oh." Both of them stared ahead at a near naked Rachel, who had her back to them and was just in panties, in the middle of changing. Quinn had a perfect view of long tan legs and a cute backside, as well as a muscled back with dimples. Both of them had the decency to blush when Rachel turned around, and jumped at the sight of both of them standing there looking guilty.

"Jesus Quinn!" Quinn quickly turned around before she was tempted to look elsewhere and elbowed Puck until he also turned around. Quinn worried at the sound of Rachel sniffling, she really dreaded the thought that somebody had hurt the brunette, if they had then she would find them

"Um uh hi Rachel er, what uh, where were you?"

"Smooth." Quinn glared at Puck who shrunk back, she really hoped that Rachel would ignore him.

"I-I was um I w-went on a d-date."

"So that went shit then." Quinn growled at Puck, not quite believing how rude he was being. She wasn't sure why the thought of Rachel going on a date left a painful feeling in her chest, it was probably just fear that somebody would hurt the pint sized diva.

"Puck!"

"What I was just sayin-"

"Quinn? If y-you don't mind me asking um who's...Puck?" Puck smiled at her before swiveling around, Quinn tried to grab him in case he saw anymore of Rachel. Luckily the brunette had put on a sweater over her panties, shielding her body from both of their views. Quinn rolled her eyes as Puck held out his hand for Rachel to shake, who she noticed looked quite uncomfortable.

"The names Noah Puckerman, Puck for short. And may I just say that Quinn did not do you justice when she said you were hot." Rachel was blushing up to her ears at this point, and Quinn was becoming increasingly annoyed at Puck, who in return just smirked at the blonde before wrapping an arm around Rachel's shoulder and leading her out of the room, whilst sticking his tongue out at Quinn.

"C'mon Rachel come and tell uncle Puck what happened, I have the perfect cure of a glass of cheap vodka." Rachel looked behind at Quinn with a worried look, Quinn nodded at her signaling it was fine and that Puck was harmless...mostly.

Puck and Rachel were sat on the couch, nursing glasses of vodka, with each sip Rachel would grimace and Quinn couldn't help but find it endearing. Quinn was currently rummaging around in her fridge for food that she soon found and went to the living room, plonking herself next to Puck, so that she would be able to keep him in line.

"So Rachel, if your date was shitty, then why are you just getting home and looking like you've just done the walk of shame?" Puck grinned at her, which didn't do much to stop Rachel from shuffling uncomfortably. There was no way that Rachel would sleep with anybody on a first date, it just didn't seem like the brunette, unless it wasn't a first date and what if she was dating somebody, Quinn's heart hurt at the thought and she assumed that it was just because she didn't consider anybody worthy of the brunette.

"Oh I mean it uh it was good I mean um it wasn't shitty, it was just that-" Quinn cut Rachel off angry at Pucks rudeness.

"You don't have to answer that Rachel."

"Let the girl speak for herself Quinn."

"What so you can continue to interrogate her."

"Don't be so uptight Quinn."

"I'm not uptight."

"Sure Q."

"Asshole." Quinn gritted out the words, struggling to contain her anger at Puck. Both of them turned when they heard Rachel chuckling next to them.

"Sorry but it's just that I've never seen you like this with someone, it's nice." Quinn wasn't sure what Rachel was trying to say, from her view her and Puck were just bickering, there was nothing special or new about that.

"Like what?"

"Happy. I mean sure you're arguing but you seem so comfortable." Quinn blushed under Rachel's gaze, ignoring the pointed look that Puck was giving her.

"Right well I-" Puck was interrupted by an abrupt knock at the door, both he and Quinn glanced at each other with puzzled looks on their faces.

"I'm not being mean here Quinn, but who the fuck is that, because as far as I knew other than me and now Rachel, you don't interact with the outside world."

"I have no idea." Neither of them made a move to get the door, stumped as to who could possibly be there, other than Puck and Rachel she never had people knock for her.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah Puck?"

"Open the god damn door all that banging is giving me a headache." Quinn sighed and stood up, leaving to answer the door, but not without smacking the back of Puck's head on her way. She hesitantly opened the door, revealing a young male who looked similar in age to her. He had curly hair that was slicked back and was wearing black slacks and a white t-shirt with a navy coat, he was obviously quite stylish.

"Hi?"

"Hi, is Rachel here?"

"Who are you?" Quinn couldn't help but distrust him as soon as he asked for the brunette, or maybe it was just that she didn't like him.

"I'm Jesse, I take it you're Quinn."

"Yeah but how the hell do you know that?" Quinn was becoming impatient with the man, she wasn't used to communicating and he was wearing her already short patience thin.

"Rachel told me she was staying with you."

"So? I fail to see how that relates to what you want."

"But-"

"No how do you know Rachel?"

"Excuse me? How do _I _know Rachel, I've known her a hell of a lot longer than you have, for all I know you could be some creep, I don't know your intentions with her. Now would you just let me see her, I know she's there." Quinn smiled insincerely at this Jesse, who claimed to know Rachel, she stepped aside and signaled for him to follow her in, where she led him into her living room. Puck and Rachel noticed his presence, Puck looked at Quinn wanting to know if everything was okay, he had heard shouting coming from outside, and Rachel looked at Jesse in anger.

"Hey Quinn, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, Jesse here just wanted to see Rachel." Puck nodded, noticing Quinn's demeanor and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"No, go away, I'm still pissed at you after what you said earlier." Suddenly the ball dropped in Quinn and Puck's minds, this was who Rachel had been on a date with earlier, and that meant that this was who had upset her...who had if Puck was right slept with Rachel. Quinn ground her teeth, and clenched her hands silently fuming.

"C'mon Rachel, I was-"

"Hold up, you should leave." Puck approached Jesse, he towered over him and Quinn tried not to smile as the other male visibly shrunk back.

"N-no, unless Rachel says she wan'ts me gone, I'm staying right here." Puck let out a loud laugh at Jesse's words, Quinn couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for Jesse, but it was his fault, what he had said was truly idiotic. Rachel gasped as Puck lent forward and grabbed the front of Jesse's shirt managing to lift him a few inches off of the ground. Jesse whimpered and struggled in Puck's strong grip, who was now shaking him whilst angrily shouting.

"Listen you little cockroach, Rachel here doesn't want to speak to you, and I don't either, and I'm pretty sure that Quinn doesn't want you here as well." Jesse's face had turned red and he was gasping for air., and Quinn was kinda worried that Puck wasn't going to let go before he suffocated

"Let go! I'm going to h-have you arrested for t-this." Puck and Quinn laughed loudly at his ridiculous statement.

"Listen punk, if the police were able to arrest me, they would have already, so believe me you measly prick they aren't going to care about you." With that Puck dropped Jesse, who crumpled to the floor pathetically, Puck proceeded you advance on him, Quinn assumed he was going to hit Jesse.

"Don't! Stop please!" All three of them turned at Rachel's cry, Puck nodded and put his arm down, but still glared at the man on the floor. Quinn approached the shaking brunette, placing both hands on Rachel's arms and smiling, hoping to reassure Rachel that everything was fine.

"Puck?"

"Don't worry Q, I've got this jackass." Quinn nodded at Puck, who had both hands under Jesse's arms and was slowly dragging the blubbering man out of the room.

"So this is who you choose to spend your time with Rachel, these thugs? You know I never took you for this, but you really are just a pathetic untalented little slut, I cant-" Jesse's rant was cut off by Quinn's fist impacting hard against his jaw. Quinn fumed and prepared to hit him again, furious that this moron would say those things about Rachel, he didn't deserve to be anywhere near the amazing brunette. Quinn turned at the feeling of someones hand on her arm, she gazed into big scared eyes, she felt her anger dissipate and she dropped her arm. Rachel looked relieved and gently took Quinn's slightly bruised hand into hers, rubbing the back of it with her thumb.

"Get him out of here Puck."

"Wait." Puck and Quinn tensed, really wanting to get Jesse out of here, before they both did something worse to him, he was an arse but neither one really wanted to cause problems by injuring him anymore than they had already. Rachel slowly walked towards Jesse who was sneering, she smiled at him before drawing her foot back and kicking him firmly in between his legs, Jesse cried out in pain, squirming on the floor.

"Now get him out." Puck grinned at Rachel, and dragged Jesse away, chuckling to himself all the while.

"Does your hand hurt?"

"A bit."

"I'm sorry I didn't know that he'd turn up, I thought that after I left his this morning he'd just leave things."

"It's fine Rachel, I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm fine Quinn, just pissed at Jesse." Quinn scowled at the use of his name, she was pretty sure that Rachel knew him well, and that didn't sit right with the blonde.

"If you don't mind me asking, but how do you know him?"

"It's okay I don't mind, you're entitled to know after what just happened. We dated for a while in high school, but we broke up, I bumped into him the other day."

"By a while you mean..."

"You're not jealous are you?" Rachel smiled at Quinn, who was blushing slightly.

"N-no, that's ridiculous."

"If you say so." Neither of them noticed Puck, who was grinning madly at the two of them.

ooOOOoo

Puck, Rachel and Quinn were sat around a table, eating food and chatting about nonsense. Puck had insisted that he take them all out to dinner, so here they were. Rachel and Puck were getting along well, and Quinn was glad that Puck had stopped trying to flirt with Rachel as well.

"So Noah, what do you do for a living?" Quinn flinched at Rachel's question, not wanting her to find out just why she and Puck knew each other. Puck groaned at what Rachel said, he had told Rachel to call him Puck, but she insisted that she would call him by his first name, Quinn was sure that Puck secretly liked it but just wasn't admitting it.

"I run a small business, we're mainly based on importing and trading." Rachel nodded, despite Puck's vagueness, which Quinn was grateful for.

"That sounds good Noah. How did you and Quinn meet?"

"I helped her out with a little problem she was having."

"Oh?"

"Mmm I gave her a temporary job, doing a bit of work for me."

"So he's your boss?"

"No way in hell is Puck my boss."

"Hey watch your tone Quinn, I may have to fire you." Quinn just stuck her tongue out at Puck, and flipped him off.

"As if you'd miss me way too much."

"Maybe, but if I did I'd sure have a lot less bruises. Anyway Rachel what do you do?" Quinn leaned up, she didn't actually know what the brunette did, she couldn't imagine Rachel working in an office.

"Oh well, I'm not working at the moment."

"I see." Quinn couldn't help but notice Rachel's demeanor had changed, before she had been chirpy but now she seemed somewhat glum.

"Well Quinn's not working either, did she tell you how she got fired from her last job, it's quite funny actually-"

"Puck!" Quinn kicked his shins under the table, she couldn't have Rachel find out that she been arrested and forced to attend therapy, that was just embarrassing.

"No I want to know, why were you fired Quinn?"

"Look Rachel it's not exactly-"

"She put some guy in the hospital." Quinn growled at Pucks statement, Rachel however gasped and turned to look at the blonde disbelievingly.

"Is that true Quinn?" The blonde nodded at Rachel, already planning to hurt Puck as soon as they were away from Rachel.

"Why?"

"Look it's not really something I'm proud of, maybe I'll tell you another time okay."

"Oh, that's fine. Um excuse me a moment, I need to use the restroom." Quinn stared at Rachel's retreating back, she sighed, she seemed to be hurting Rachel more often that she liked, it wasn't that she didn't trust Rachel enough to tell her, she just didn't want the brunette to think any differently of her, and she knew that if she told then Rachel was likely to be disgusted by the blonde.

"Quinn?"

"Shut up Puck."

**ooOOOoo Rachel's POV**

Rachel dabbed at her eyes with toilet paper, she hadn't meant to be this emotional, it just hurt that Quinn wouldn't trust her enough to tell her, she knew she was being silly but she didn't like that Noah got to know more about Quinn than she did. Not that she didn't like Noah, he was a bit odd and he seemed a bit reckless maybe, but he seemed to be good for Quinn, he was there for her and protective of the blonde, so as far as Rachel was concerned Noah was nice enough, she hoped that he could maybe be her friend as well as Quinn's.

She turned on the cold tap, letting the water run for a little while before splashing her face with it, looking in the mirror her eyes were still puffy and red, but now her hair was sticking to her forehead.

"Great."

"Holding something cold over them usually reduces the puffiness." Rachel jumped and accidentally hit the tap, crying out in pain.

"Shit sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine, I just didn't hear you come in Quinn." Her hand really hurt, what if it was broken, she really couldn't deal with a broken hand, how was she supposed to audition?

"Quinn I think I need to go to the hospital, what if my hand's-"

"Let me look at it." Rachel huffed at the blonde and sulkily gave Quinn her hand. The blonde began to poke and prod different places on it, whilst frowning, after a few minutes she let go and proceeded to stare at Rachel with worried eyes.

"Rachel your hand, the bones are completely shattered, I mean I'll be surprised if you retain full function of it."

"What! Quinn I need my hand, I can't live without it, oh God." Rachel balked when the blonde began laughing hysterically at her, whilst bent over and clutching at her sides.

"It's not funny Quinn, in fact this is very serious, we need to get to a hospital."

"Rachel I was kidding, calm down your hand's fine, it's just a bit sore and you may have bruised it." Quinn wiped at her eyes, still chuckling, her whole frame vibrating with giggles.

"Quinn! that was not funny, that was cruel and plain mean."

"Awh I'm sorry Rach, but you should have seen your face." Rachel growled at the blonde, who had begun laughing once more, before she realised what she was doing she had brought back her hand planning on punching Quinn's arm, as she swung she felt her arm easily blocked by the blonde counterpart and herself being pulled into Quinn's grip, and held there. Her face was pressed against Quinn's neck, and she could feel her pulse thumping against her lips.

"Quinn let go of me, I'm meant to be cross at you."

"You're not cross at me?"

"Mm maybe." Rachel sighed and closed her eyes, Quinn had started to trail her hands through brunette tresses of hair, the feeling of Quinn's nails scraping lightly against her scalp felt extremely relaxing and made Rachel want to go to sleep in the blonde's arms.

"Well miss maybe cross, we can't leave Puck out there all by himself, God knows what idea's we'll put in his head if we stay in here any longer."

"No mm I'm cozy." Rachel felt Quinn chuckling against her, and snuggled further into Quinn's embrace, what she wasn't expecting was being hefted up onto Quinn's shoulder, legs kicking uselessly in the air, Quinn set of outside, towards where Puck was sitting rolling his eyes at Quinn's antics but smiling all the same.

"Quinn put me down this instant!"

"Sorry Rachel what was that? I thought you were cozy." Quinn span around a few times making Rachel dizzy and her head spin, the truth was that she was enjoying herself immensely, she just didn't want the blonde to know this. Puck laid down a few bills before standing still laughing at the two women, and headed out of the restaurant trailed by Quinn and an unwilling Rachel, the rest of the people dining at the restaurant just stared at the strange group either in amusement or outrage.

"Quinn let go of me now!" Rachel didn't see Quinn's smile, nor her silent conversation with Puck, but she sure felt herself being passed from Quinn's shoulder onto Pucks's, who laughed wildly as he carried her down the street.

"I did not mean like that Quinn! Noah put me down!" Rachel began to hit at his back, it wasn't much use it just made both Quinn and Puck laugh louder. Eventually Rachel just crossed her arms and glared at Quinn whilst huffing.

"Awhh don't be like that Rachel, you know you love it really."

"I most certainly do not, in fact I find both of you silly and mean, you shouldn't..." Both Quinn and Puck zoned out of Rachel's rant, the latter quirking his brow at Quinn.

"For someone so small you sure do talk a lot." Rachel whined at Puck's words, she knew she was short and didn't like for other people to bring it up, or tease her about it, back when she was in high school people used to call her hobbit, which made no sense to Rachel because other than the height she saw no similarities between herself and the fictional creatures.

"Yeah well you don't have to put up with it on a daily basis." Puck high fived Quinn quickly, ignoring Rachel's scowling at them both. When he put her down she was going to seriously tell both of them off, for now though she had no choice but to sit (or rather be carried) along for the ride.

**There you go, the latest chapter, Jesse is outta here and taught a lesson, as if I would pair Rachel up with him, everyone knows she is meant for Quinn :) Please review and tell me what you thought. Next chapter is gonna have Puck in and that is the only clue I can give.**


	10. Chapter 9

**Here you are, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's slightly sad compared to the past couple. Reviews are appreciated I like to know what you think so far. I also changed my username to raidersofthelostarc so you won't be able to find me under my previous name.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, however much I wish I did.**

**ooOOOoo**

_1 week later_

Quinn sat in her usual place for therapy, nothing had changed in the week that she had not been, she was still not forthcoming and didn't want to be there, the only difference was that when therapy was over, she could head home to Rachel, who was still staying with her. Quinn smiled at the thought of soon spending time with Rachel, the'd been become increasingly closer with each day that they were together, however Quinn still didn't know what Rachel did, and she wasn't able to tell Rachel what she did herself for money.

"Alright Quinn, you're free to leave now, but I need to address worries that I have regarding your progress or lack of, in our therapy sessions."

"You said I didn't have to do anything I'm uncomfortable with."

"Yes Quinn and that still applies, however due to your case, you're expected to make some progress and if I can't show the court that you have done so, then there is a risk of you having to be reassessed."

"Reassessed what does that mean?" Quinn was in full panic mode right now, she thought that she had dealt with the court and that as soon as she finished one year worth of therapy she would be free to do as she wished, she didn't know there was a but.

"It means that if you continue to not show any progress in our sessions, that I am unable to help you, then the court is fully within there rights to potentially imprison you."

"That's bullshit! They said one year of therapy and the charges are dropped!"

"Yes that was if you were willing to co-operate, we haven't made any progress and if we can't, then I'm afraid there is nothing I can do, if therapy is not effective there are other-"

"This is-why? How-I can't go- God they said one year."

"You put a man in the hospital Quinn, most people would be sentenced with jail time, they overlooked the serious nature of your actions, because of the time you served in the army, and instead you had to carry out a year of therapy sessions, you had to prove that you were recovering, but Quinn you aren't recovering."

"How do I recover, how!?"

"I can help Quinn, but you have to be willing to talk to me, to let you help you."

"Okay okay I can do that, I will do that, I can't-I just-I need to not go to jail."

"And you won't...but that means sharing. You can leave now Quinn." The blonde rushed out of the room, leaving the building as fast as she could. Her top was damp with sweat and her breathing was harsh, the thought of sharing made her throat constrict and blood pump faster in her veins, there was no help for her, but as long as it looked like she was recovering then she could stay free.

**ooOOOoo Rachel's POV**

Rachel hummed whilst she chopped a carrot, Quinn had popped out for a while to do something, Rachel didn't know what the blonde was doing but by now had learnt that pushing Quinn for answers would only make her retreat into herself more. She had decided to make dinner for them both, knowing that Quinn would likely be hungry. Rachel jumped at a loud crack and bright flash of light, she quickly hurried over to the small window in Quinn's kitchen, peering out at the dark grey clouds that looked just about ready to open up and bombard passerby's on the street with bullets of rain, after another crack of thunder and lightning Rachel reluctantly went back to preparing dinner for the both of them.

Her and Quinn had an unspoken agreement that she would stay with Quinn here, in fact the only time she was ever at her own apartment was to collect clothes and that only took a few minutes, the rest of the time she spent with Quinn either out or at the blondes home. Noah would occasionally visit, although Quinn complained stating that he would never come to her apartment before Rachel was staying there, but Rachel knew she secretly enjoyed the young mohawked mans company, Noah was all Quinn had other than her and Rachel was grateful that he watched out for the blonde. Her and Quinn had still been sharing the same bed, one night Quinn had slept on the couch again after Rachel had gone to bed first, but Rachel had been woken by screams in the middle of the night, since then they had slept next to each other so that the brunette was close when Quinn woke up, and able to comfort her. Rachel wanted to think that Quinn was becoming better, but knew that the nightmares were unlikely to stop soon, she knew that no matter how long it took for the blonde to recover, she would be there to help her, even if it meant putting her own dreams on hold. She had decided to give Broadway a short break, it was still her dream to perform on stage in front of a crowd she did after all still live for applause, but she was no longer in a rut of moodiness and self pity over her lack of a role, she knew that it would take time to make it on Broadway, and that some people never did, but it was her life she lived and breathed for it, it had been her dream since she could remember, however she couldn't see herself performing right now, right now she had to be there for Quinn, there was the rest of her life to perform.

She placed the food in the oven, and turned the heat up to it's highest setting, the oven in Quinn's apartment was broken and would only go up to 150 which meant that the food took longer to cook, when she had told the blonde she had shrugged and told her that she barely used it and couldn't afford to have it fixed, Rachel had made do of the damaged oven and could still make decent vegan meals for them both. Rachel glanced out of the window again, it was now spitting lightly with rain, and the thunder and lightning was still going strong. Rachel sighed really hoping that Quinn would hurry back, there was no use trying to get in contact with her because she hardly ever answered her phone and would probably just tell Rachel not to worry. She grabbed a book that she had taken from her apartment, she had been meaning to read it again for a while and figured that now was as good a time as any. She had first read it when she was fifteen, and found that it was very enjoyable, it was the first book that had really made an impression on her and she had remembered it ever since, each time she happened across a copy in a bookshop she couldn't help but buy it, she must have at least another fifteen or more different copies in her apartment. Rachel shivered at the cold temperature of the apartment, she doubted it was insulated and Quinn didn't have heating so whenever it got cold the two of them would have to wrap up, and Rachel liked to use the blonde as her personal heater.

She lasted another twenty minutes of shaking and rubbing at her arms that had broken into goosebumps, before shuffling into Quinn's bedroom and dragging the quilt back out to the living room, to lay under whilst reading. She found herself smiling during the familiar novel, despite the many times she had read it, it still never failed to entertain her. She managed another chapter before going to retrieve the food from the oven, she inhaled the appetising aroma of stuffed peppers and baked vegetables, it was a simple yet delicious meal and she was sure that Quinn would enjoy it, she never complained about what Rachel made, she just seemed grateful that the brunette was taking care of her. Rachel had noticed that Quinn seemed healthier since she had been eating more regularly, she had more energy and her mood had bettered, she seemed happier and a lot less glum. She finished dishing up and placed Quinn's food back in the oven to keep warm, and took hers to the sofa so that she could continue to read.

It was another hour before she heard a key in the lock and footsteps coming into the apartment. By this time is was pouring with rain and the wind was howling outside, the rain kept pelting against the windows and with each strike of thunder Rachel would become more worried about Quinn being out. Quinn slowly came into the living room, she was shaking slightly, and her cheeks were red from the cold, she had tears frozen down her cheeks and her hair was matted and covering half of her face, her clothes were soaked through and dripping onto the floor leaving a trail of water behind her, her hands were still by her sides, stiff from the cold weather. She was a mess. Rachel sighed, she should have expected this, Quinn wasn't the most sensible person when it came to keeping safe, that extended to the weather.

"H-hi sorry I'm l-late."

"Come on Quinn, you need to get out of those clothes before you catch a cold, I'll heat your dinner up for you whilst you shower." The blonde smiled at her and nodded before walking to the bathroom, trailed by Rachel.

"I'll lay out some clothes for you to wear, just hurry up in the shower."

"Okay, I'll be out soon." Rachel smiled at Quinn, before heading into the bedroom, she picked out a pair of sweats and a jumper that would keep Quinn warm and stop her from becoming ill. Right now she couldn't help but feel a bit cross at Quinn, she knew that Rachel worried about her but still came home in this state.

**ooOOOoo Quinn's POV**

The hot water on Quinn's skin made the blonde moan out in pleasure at the feeling, she was so cold, she almost didn't think that she would be able to warm up and was thankful that she had been wrong. She had gone to a nearby park after therapy, she'd found a bench for her to sit and think, she had stayed there for longer than she cared to admit, just sitting and thinking, she had stayed until it began to rain, then she had still sat thinking in the rain and shivering with the cold, she had finally gone home when it became too painful to sit any longer. She honestly didn't deserve Rachel's kindness, the small brunette was nothing but kind for her and she just caused problems and made her worry about her, she hurt Rachel by causing her to be anxious of the blondes whereabouts and that made her a bad person she knew, especially since the brunette was being so kind to her. She was just a damaged soldier who was unable to function properly in everyday life, Rachel was the most fantastic person she had ever met, she didn't deserve to be taken care of.

Quinn looked up at the shower head with closed eyes, soaking her hair and face underneath the cascading water, washing away the cold and with it trying to rid herself of all her bad memories, of all the horrors that she had seen and experienced. _Well at least I'm warm. _She smirked finding humour in her dark thoughts, she knew that her memories would remain with her forever, these were memories that you never forgot, never faded, she remembered them as though they had just occurred. Each fight, each mission, every bullet that she had been forced to fire at enemies who were just as scared as she was. She opened her eyes not wanting to focus on such things, instead she looked up at the shower head. Red. Black. Smoke. Fire. Quinn shook her head, panicking and trying to even out her breathing which was now uneven. _You're not there, it's not real, it's..._Quinn screamed out at the vision of a gun firing bullets at her, falling hard into a heap of limbs. _  
_

"_Run soldier! Get the fuck out of here!" _Quinn squirmed laying in her tub with the shower spraying down on her, she glanced up jumping at the barrage of bullets that were pelting towards her. _I can't die, I don't want to die, not here not now. _

"No no no no no! NO! NOO!" Quinn convulsed her arms and legs kicking out at the sides of the bath as she screamed, bringing her arms up to try and shield herself from being shot. She paid no attention to the sound of a door slamming open and a voice shouting her name. There was so much noise. So much blood.

"Quinn look at me."

"R-run they're c-co-coming, run!" Quinn's eyes were tightly closed, she felt arms pulling her up and dragging her somewhere, this was it, she was going to die, she dared not open her eyes not wanting to see, not wanting to face that she was going to be killed. She kicked out still, trying to escape her captors hold, strong arms restrained her movements and pulled her close to something. Those same arms stayed wrapped around her shaking frame.

"Don't d-don't please d-don't kill m-me!" The blonde trembled, sobbing out knowing that it wasn't going to be a painless death, if it was they would have shot her by now, but at least now she didn't hear bullets or screaming, just felt someone holding her.

"Quinn open your eyes for me. Please sweetie open your eyes." The voice calling her name sounded familiar, it sounded warm. Maybe they weren't going to hurt her, maybe they would be kind. She slowly opened her eyes, wherever she was it was blurry, she could make out a room and a figure above her with brown hair, she blinked a few times, the room became clearer as well as the figure. Familiar brown eyes made contact with her own, and warm arms held her tight.

"R-Rachel?"

"I'm here Quinn, you're safe, I'm here." Quinn shook in Rachel's arms that were wrapped firmly around her body, she looked around her slowly remembering where she was, and that she was naked in front of Rachel again. She groaned, she seemed to be making a habit of this, maybe she would have to start wearing clothes at all times. Quinn felt her breathing even out, and took large breaths of air to steady herself. Her head was throbbing and her body ached, she felt like she had been thrown out of a building and then run over. She slowly braced her arms against the floor and hesitantly pushed herself up, not sure if she was able to or not, she sat up with Rachel still hugging her.

"Rachel?"

"Are you okay?"

"I've been better, but I think I'll be fine."

"You scared me, I was so afraid."

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have had to see me like that."

"No Quinn, I told you I'm here for you, that means for when things like this happen, no matter what happens I'm here for you."

"Thank you Rachel, really you've helped me so much, and I've been nothing but a burden."

"You're not a burden Quinn, you scared me but that's because I care about you, and I want for you to be okay."

"You're too kind, I'm not used to people wanting to help me, everybody wants something in return, even Puck."

"Well I am getting something in return."

"Mmm what's that?"

"I get to help you, and that's all I need to know. Plus you're also a pretty good pillow, you're quite comfy." Quinn chuckled at Rachel's words and swatted at her arm, the brunette grinned at Quinn glad that the blonde was smiling.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Um could you uh, would you mind uh I need to put some clothes on."

"Oh!" Rachel blushed furiously and nodded at the blonde, she unwrapped her arms from Quinn before disappearing out of the bathroom.

Quinn sighed, she had been doing well with not having flashbacks or panic attacks, but this had set her back, she had actually believed for a while that maybe she had got just a little bit better.

Rachel came back into the bathroom and dropped some clothes into Quinn's hands, Quinn thanked her and quickly put on the sweats and jumper, feeling warmer instantly. Quinn's stomach chose then to let out a pained grumble, Quinn blushed whilst Rachel chuckled.

"Come on, I made dinner." Quinn nodded at Rachel, following her. Rachel really was intent on taking care of her completely, and the blonde trusted her enough to let her in, maybe Rachel was what she needed, she was glad that she had her here with her, she didn't think she had ever felt so safe.

**Okay gonna finish there although I know I said this chapter would have Puck in, It's shorter than the last couple of chapters but I don't think it would be best to continue on with this particular chapter, however Puck will definitely be in the next chapter. Please review, I like to know whether your enjoying it so far or not. Next chapter may skip ahead in time again but I haven't quite decided yet.**


	11. Chapter 10

**Okay next chapter, this one is longer due to the shortness of the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy, please review I like to know what you think so far.**

**Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine, nor is it's beautiful cast.**

**ooOOOoo**

_Quinn moved hesitantly through the deserted house, keeping an ear out for any sounds and watching in case there were any sudden movements. She had her knife in her left hand, gripping it tightly and ready to use it if she needed to. It was too hot to think clearly; she was in full uniform and the temperature was sweltering, sweat was dripping into her eyes and blurring her vision, and her clothes were sticking to her skin. Quinn wiped her hands, trying to dry them so that she wouldn't drop her knife, it was the only weapon that she had on her. _

_Her and a group of five other men had been sent out, with the orders to survey a building that was believed to be harboring wanted enemies. After arrival they had scoped out the building, and found it clear of people, they had proceeded to let their guard down not perceiving anything as a threat. Then everything had gone to hell. To Quinn it seemed like everything was happening in slow motion, one moment she was standing there the next she heard something fall to the ground. None of them ever heard the shot, they didn't have time to prepare before bullets were raining down on them, leaving the remaining of them no choice but to drop to the ground. Quinn had laid there for the most tense terrifying few seconds, next to her lifeless comrade...her friend. She had no time to mourn, within seconds she had to move again. It was the first time somebody had been killed in front of her, she didn't even have time to react, only time for instinct to kick in, the instinct to stay alive at all costs. So she had crawled across the floor, whilst bullets were still whizzing past above them, impacting with furniture and smashing everything in their path, pieces of splintered wood were flying around, wanting to embed themselves into flesh. Quinn ignored all of that, she ignored the loud ringing in her ears and the blood that was smeared across the floor, that she had crawled through and was now covering her hands and uniform. Instead she focused on getting over to her comrade, who was stomach down on the floor screaming into a radio for backup of some sort, Quinn knew none would come, they were miles from base and nobody was around to save them. Once she reached him she grabbed the radio from his shaking hands and chucked it across the room, where is clanked uselessly. _

_"Listen to me, we need to get the hell out of here, our trucks outside about ten minutes away if we run!" _

_"How Fabray?, all the fucking exits are probably decked out with at least half a dozen men, if we even approach them we're as good as dead!" Quinn swore, she knew he was right, there was no way of them getting out of this alive if they used any of the doors in the building. _

_"Just shut up a minute let me think." _

_"You don't have a fucking minute Fabray, in a minute for all we know they could come through here and shoot us dead!" _

_"I know okay! I'm thinking." She didn't want to die here, not like this, the men who wanted them dead were anything but kind, if they were captured it was likely that their deaths wouldn't be quick or painless. _

_"Think fast dammit, these guys aren't going to wait for you to think! If they find us then they're going to torture us and interrogate us for information, we'd have been better to be hit by a stray bullet or jumped off of the damn roof, I mean at least it would be quick-" Quinn froze at what he was saying, her mind working rapidly to come up with a plan._

_"Wait wait what did you say?" _

_"I said it would be quick." _

_"No the roof, oh my God the roof, Jones you're a fucking genius." _

_"I'm not following-"_

_"Just shut up, I don't have time to explain, follow me and keep your mouth shut, if we're seen we're dead." Jones nodded at her and so she turned around and glanced around the room for any way that would lead up to the roof. Spotting a stair case nearby she signaled for Jones to follow her and she slowly made her way to it as quietly as she could, holding her breath. If this worked then she would kiss Jones' ass. She looked around and after not spotting anybody slowly stood up, Jones followed her lead doing the same, keeping his gun in both hands ready to fire. She sighed deeply praying with all she had before putting her foot onto the bottom step, it creaked lowly but held her weight, so she began to climb, with Jones at her back. She breathed a silent sigh of relief, thanking their luck that nobody was upstairs in the building. Both of them walked towards the only door at the end of a hallway, it was padlocked and had a small window in that allowed them to see that it led to a balcony. _

_"Shit Quinn, it's fucking locked."_

_"Is there any way to break it open." Jones grabbed at the lock twisting it around in his hands before letting it drop defeated. _

_"No, the chains too thick, and we don't have bolt cutters, there's fuck all chance." Quinn swore and stuck out hitting the door with her fist, and then wincing in pain. Both of them looked at each other with wide scared eyes when they heard voices down the stairs, from the sound of things there were at least six men down there, all of whom were armed._

_"Quinn, we can't stay here." _

_"Jones?"_

_"What?" Both of them were hissing angrily at this point, they knew that it was extremely likely that the men would come up the stairs in a few moments, if that happened then they were done for._

_"Do you trust me?"_

_"Yes! Now is not the time-"_

_"Shh just shut up trust me and do as I do then."_

_"What the-" Jones watched in horror as Quinn snatched the gun from his hands drew her arm back before slamming it against the window in the door, the glass shattered cutting into Quinn's skin, she didn't waste time knowing that if the men downstairs weren't coming up before then they were now. She hoisted herself up and jumped through the window dragging herself through, ignoring the pain of glass shards ripping at her flesh, she hit the ground with a thud face first and the rest of her body crumpled, she jumped up quickly, fear replacing the pain that she felt._

_"Jones! I am not leaving you." The man closed his eyes before taking a step back and throwing himself through the window, he yelled in pain, landing hard on the floor before struggling to his feet. Quinn chose to ignore the large piece of glass embedded in his thigh instead turned around quickly coming up with a plan. _

_"Okay Jones, stick close to me and don't stop no matter what, if I go down keep running, got that." He nodded at her, that was all she needed before springing into action. She pulled her aching body up onto the railings of the balcony, standing up and wobbling, she waited for Jones to do the same. When both of them were up she took a deep breath, before bending down and launching upwards, kicking out so that she jumped as far as possible. The wind swept at her hair, and her stomach sank, she heard Jones grunt behind her, her arms were flailing by her sides in the few seconds that she was air born. Her body thudded against the corrugated metal roof of a crumbling building opposite the one they just vacated, Jones falling next to her, neither of them looked at the other before scrambling back up and sprinting forward, their footsteps banging loudly on the roof. They reached the edge before jumping once more; this time landing on their feet, on another roof, this one was lower down and Quinn felt the pain of the high drop but still continued to run. On they went jumping from rooftop to rooftop, not looking behind them to see if they were being followed, after about five minutes they reached the last rooftop. It was about fifteen feet to the ground and there were no ways down that Quinn was able to see. _

_"Shit Fabray what now?" _

_"Just shut up and trust me." Quinn didn't speak again before jumping down from the rooftop, she hit the ground and went into a roll, standing up and continuing to run, Jones was by her side again shortly yet he was limping and panting harshly. She didn't let that stop her, she was going to try her goddamn hardest to get back to their truck if it was the last thing she did. Her feet pounded against the cement, left, right, left, right. Never stopping or slowing despite the pain. As she spotted the truck she almost thought that maybe she was hallucinating and hesitated, only to have her arm grabbed by Jones and pulled along after him, it was just another twenty paces before they both reached the truck. Both bloody, exhausted and disbelieving that they had escaped, or nearly escaped. They didn't spare any time celebrating both throwing the doors open and not bothering to buckle their seat belts, Quinn turned the key in the ignition before slamming her foot down on the peddle. The wheels spun a few times before the truck hurtled off quickly. Quinn glanced at Jones who had found more weapons and was currently loading a gun. She turned the wheel, the truck swerving violently round a corner, causing them to be thrown sideways, but Quinn wasn't slowing down for anything, she wanted to put this place far behind her. _

_"We did it we actually fucking did it Fabray!" Quinn laughed along with Jones, shaking her head at the fact that they weren't dead. They're joy was short lived, both of them slammed forward, Jones hitting his head hard against the windscreen. Quinn turned to look behind her, and was filled with dread, they were being trailed by a truck that had around ten heavily armed men in. Quinn turned again when she felt the truck slammed into from the right. Make that two trucks with heavily armed men. _

_"Hold the fuck on Jones, I need you to start shooting, and shoot fast!" He nodded, grabbing his gun and aiming it at the men firing off rounds of bullets. Quinn slammed the breaks, the other trucks overtaking them and making it easier for Jones to take the men out. Quinn reached for a hand gun, putting one arm out the car window and keeping the other on the wheel she began to shoot and drive. Although they were out manned by far, the enemies weren't good shots and most of the bullets missed completely or struck against the truck, meanwhile Jones and Quinn were easily picking off the men. Her eyes went wide when Jones took out their driver, the truck swerved before flying into the air and turning a couple of times, before it crashed to the ground. Both of them turned their attention to the other truck, Quinn ran out of bullets fast and chucked the gun. She put both hands back on the wheel and continued to drive whilst Jones shot. After another minute their truck was under heavy fire and they weren't making any progress in killing the men._

_"Quinn it's fucking bullet proof, none of my shots are even impacting." _

_"Shit!" Quinn kept her eyes on the road, panicking slightly. _

_"Wait! Miller left a fucking rocket launcher back here earlier."_

_"What the fuck did he have that for!"_

_"You're complaining right now?" _

_"No hurry the fuck up and take out the other truck, we can't take much more damage." By now they were clear of any buildings and just driving on the road, next to the truck, they're was desert around them for miles and there was no chance of outrunning them, so they needed to take them out and quickly. Jones lent into the back of the truck and rummaged around, preparing the rocket launcher. Miller had a penchant for big dangerous weaponry, it usually got him into trouble but right now Quinn was thankful that he insisted on bringing heavy weapons. She felt bad for a brief moment that they had left Miller and the rest of their team back in the building, but all of them would have wanted for them to try and survive at all costs, right now even in death Miller was saving their asses._

_"Right well bad news, and good news."_

_"Now's not the fucking time to beat around the bush Jones!" _

_"Okay alright, well bad is that we only have one shot, the good news is that at least if they shoot us we'll die quickly."_

_"You call that good news?" _

_"Alright so there's only bad news." _

_"Just hurry up and shoot Jones, we're running out of time!" Quinn gripped the wheel tight, her foot was against the floor, driving the truck at full speed. Jones aimed the rocket launcher at the truck muttering under his breath, his finger was against the trigger ready to pull._

_"What are you waiting for?"_

_"Don't rush me, we've only got one shot!"_

_"Well if you don't shoot then that shot won't matter."_

_"Be patient!"_

_"Jones!" _

_"Okay Jesus, please let this fucking work. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1." Both of them jumped at the loud sound of the rocket launcher going off, Quinn bit her lip watching as the rocket shot in the direction of the truck._

_"It's gonna miss it!" _

_"Then we'll shoot the-" Both of them were cut short at the loud explosion and the truck flying into the air whilst spinning._

_"Holy shit..."_

_"Yeah." They sped past the truck that was engulfed in flames, not daring to stop and see if the men were dead, as long as they couldn't be followed then Quinn didn't care. _

_"Jones I could kiss you right now." Quinn had a massive grin on her face, and her grip on the wheel had finally loosened. _

_"Well then you'd better do it fast Fabray." _

_"What?" Quinn turned to look at Jones. The blood drained from her face and she heard her heart thudding in her ears. Jones torso was covered in blood and his face was pale, his eyes were drooping and he was struggling to stay conscious._

_"Jones? Jones! Where are you hit? Is it bad?" Jones lifted his shirt whilst groaning in pain, Quinn punched the wheel at the sight of two bullets embedded in his flesh. One was just under his collarbone on his left side. The other one was on the right side and much lower down, it was likely to have punctured a lung. _

_"Jones can you make it?"_

_"I'm not feeling so sure about that."_

_"C'mon don't you fucking die on me Jones." His answer was a series of coughs, he spat out blood with each cough, confirming Quinn's thoughts about a punctured lung. He gave her a bloody smile afterwards, and moved his arm so he could pat Quinn on the shoulder._

_"You did good Fabray, you saved my ass back there, shame really I was kinda hoping I'd be able to ask you on a date once we get back to the states." Quinn smiled at Jones with watery eyes, even whilst dying he was able to make her smile. He wasn't serious, she knew that he was in a committed relationship with his boyfriend Toby back in the US._

_"Please don't die on me, don't leave me here alone."_

_"You'll be fine Fabray, you're strong and smart, you'll survive, out of all of us you'll survive, you were a born soldier." Jones coughed again, his wounds oozing out warm gooey blood. Quinn wanted to hurl, Jones was meant to live. All of her team was meant to live._

_"I should have taken out that shooter, I could have stopped this."_

_"Don't you dare blame yourself Fabray, you saved my ass with the rooftop shit, you drove like a madwoman there was nothing you could've done, it was my own fault I didn't shoot fast enough. None of this was your fault, remember that Fabray, okay?"_

_"Y-yeah." _

_"You know I always hoped I'd die old in bed, married to Toby, still in love and my children and grandchildren by my side. Guess that's too boring though."_

_"I'd hoped you'd die like that too, none of you should have died today." _

_"Quinn?"  
_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Would yo-tell my mum what happened, she needs to know."_

_"I'll make sure she knows, she'll know how brave you were, how if it wasn't for you then I'd be sitting back there dead." Jones smiled at her, his eyes closing, he was wheezing now and Quinn knew he only had a few more moments._

_"One more thing. Tell my dad that when I was fifteen it was me who crashed the car, I lied." Quinn laughed, what she'd just been told really didn't surprise her. _

_"Quinn Fabray it was a pleasure to know and serve with you, I hope you'll remember me."_

_"Peter Jones, I don't think I'll ever have a comrade quite like you, I'll sure miss hearing your smartass jokes."_

_"Hey one more for old times." Quinn rolled her eyes, it was just like Jones to go out on a joke._

_"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Quinn smirked, he always did favour the old classic joke._

_"I dunno why?" She waited a couple of moments, when she got no response she looked over to see Jones slumped against the door of the truck completely still and not breathing. She prodded him a couple of times, getting no response._

_"Jones, c'mon why'd the chicken cross?" She shook him, trying to wake him up, his head just lolled to the side._

_"Jones wake up! Please wake up!" Quinn let out a choked sob, tears running down her face now._

_"You need to tell me why the chicken crosses, wake up please!" There was still no response, and she finally stopped trying to get him to answer. He was a corpse now and Quinn realised that she was never going to get him to answer her again, she would never hear the end of his joke, both his life and his joke would remain forever uncompleted. The scream she let out was a wail or maybe shriek, but she held it until she was gasping to breath before screaming again, angry that she had lost everyone._

ooOOOoo

"Jones!" Quinn shot up out of the bed, drenched in sweat with her heart pumping wildly. Rachel was quickly up after her and wrapped reassuring arms around the shaking blonde. Quinn lent back into Rachel and shut her eyes tight, panting for breath. After a few minutes Quinn felt herself calm down and blinked a few times, trying to clear her blurred vision.

"You okay?" Quinn didn't feel okay, whenever she though of Jones or anybody else she was in the army with she felt nauseous, right now she was lightheaded and her stomach was churning.

"I'm fine, just a bad dream don't worry."

"You're lying, I can tell plus you're still shaking." Quinn should have known that Rachel would be able to tell if she was lying, despite the short time they had known each other Rachel was able to tell her mood easily. Sometimes it felt like the small brunette could see inside her head.

"Okay, you're right." Rachel smiled at Quinn, and rubbed her arm on Quinn's back hoping to comfort her.

"You don't have to tell me, I didn't mean to push you I'll-"

"It's not that Rachel, it's just something that drags up the past."

"It's fine Quinn, you don't have to tell me things that make you uncomfortable."Rachel smiled at Quinn and squeezed her arm before hopping up out of the bed. She stretched a little and then walked out of the room. Quinn sighed and stared at her ceiling, telling Rachel usually proved to be helpful, the small brunette was able to comfort her and that always made the blonde feel better. Quinn pursed her lips then dragged herself out of the bed and headed after Rachel.

The brunette was in the kitchen pouring out two bowls of granola with rice milk, it was Quinn's favourite dairy free milk that Rachel had bought, the week before she had a glass of almond milk and couldn't get the weird taste out of her mouth no matter what she tried.

"Are you hungry?" Quinn nodded at her, and thanked the brunette who slid the bowl into Quinn's hands. Both of them took there breakfast into the living room and sat down next to each other on the couch. Quinn took a large mouthful chewing thoughtfully, she wasn't used to eating so healthily or well and it was nice surprisingly, she didn't miss meat with the exception of bacon. Bacon was something that Rachel refused to buy, cook or let Quinn eat because of the fact that Rachel was Jewish, and she didn't want Quinn eating cute piglets. Quinn felt differently about the matter and whenever she could, she would sneak the tasty food, usually when she was out with Puck or after therapy. It wasn't that Rachel stopped Quinn from eating meat, she said that she would maybe be okay with cooking chicken or something but not pig, she wouldn't even have it in the apartment. A couple of days ago Puck had come over with a packet of bacon and thrown it Rachel's way, the girl had screamed and jumped into Quinn's lap whilst swearing at Puck, both of them had quickly learnt not to bring bacon near Rachel, although Quinn was pretty sure Puck was Jewish as well he still loved bacon.

Quinn set down her bowl and turned to Rachel who was looking at her half eaten breakfast. Quinn sighed, she wasn't ready to tell the brunette what she had dreamed of but there was no way that she was going to leave her upset.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come and see Puck with me?" Rachel's head shot up and she was grinning ear to ear, she was practically bouncing where she sat. Quinn rolled her eyes, the two of them had become close and Rachel loved to hear stories about Quinn that Puck would tell her. Quinn liked that Puck was able to know Rachel, but still worried that the brunette would find out how they came to know each other, and what Puck and Quinn did, she wasn't so sure that Rachel would be so fond of them if she knew what they did for money.

"I'll take that as a yes, okay then we can go, then we can spend the rest of the day together."

"With Noah?"

"No just us, there's this art gallery that I thought might be fun to check out." Rachel grinned at Quinn before springing forward and enveloping the blonde in her arms.

**ooOOOoo Rachel POV**

Rachel scrunched up her nose and blinked a few times, Noah's house, if you could call it that, had a very strong smell of what Rachel thought was marijuana. Noah and Quinn were on a couch sat close, discussing something in hushed whispers, she had no idea what but from the way both of them kept glancing up at her she thought they were arguing about her. She didn't like not knowing what was going on but they would only be here for a little while longer, and Rachel would be glad to put this place behind her. She had thought that Quinn's apartment was bad but Noah's was much worse, on the way here several people had eyed her and Quinn, people here gave her the creeps and she made note to not agree to come here ever again. She would just see Noah whenever he came to visit Quinn and her. Rachel shuffled awkwardly, purposefully ignoring the loud yelling coming from upstairs, she didn't know why Noah would ever want to live here.

"Okay short stuff we're done here." Rachel jumped up eagerly and went to follow Quinn who had started walking to the front door. She stopped as she felt a strong grip on her arm pulling her back, she turned and saw Noah holding her back, he grinned at her which calmed her nerves. Quinn glanced back and at Noah's shake of a head carried on and stepped outside of the apartment. Noah led Rachel over to the couch where they both sat, the brunette looked expectantly and Noah, not happy that she wasn't already out of here.

"Okay Rachel, what do you know about Quinn?"

"Oh uh I don't really um she might not want me sharing."

"It's fine little one, I already know all her shit, you won't be telling me anything I don't know." Rachel bit her lip not entirely comfortable but nodded despite this.

"Um she told me she was in the army and she sometimes has nightmares as well as panic attacks, her parents she doesn't see them I don't blame her they don't sound like nice people." Rachel scowled as she realised that was pretty much all she knew about the blonde, with how much time they spent together she felt like she knew a lot but in actuality she knew the bare minimum. Noah nodded at her and rubbed at his face absentmindedly.

"Alright listen because I'm not gonna repeat this, and don't tell her that I said this because she'd kill us both. Okay?"

"Okay." Noah huffed out and cracked his knuckles, it was obvious that he was a little nervous about speaking to her.

"Quinn is fucked up okay, you may not think so but that's just the way it is and I'm sure you have realised that she has certain problems. I can't tell you everything about her but here's some stuff you need to know. She has therapy five days a week, you need to make sure she goes because if not there's a chance she'll um well the cops could become involved that's all I can say." Rachel's eyes went wide and she quickly realised that Noah wasn't finished.

"She got fired because she did something to her co-worker, it's up to her to tell you what that was, she's dangerous to be around Rachel, she's volatile and self destructive, she doesn't do friends, even us I'm not so much a friend as a colleague of sorts. For some reason she trusts you, and you're good for her, just don't hurt her anybody she trusts is gone and now all she has is you, if you don't think that you're gonna stick around then you need to leave now because the longer you stay the more it will hurt her if you leave, you could break her Rachel, even more than she already is." Rachel nodded and went to respond but Noah just clamped his hand over her mouth and shook his head.

"Don't speak just go, the bitch is outside waiting still, it's best you don't come here again Rachel we can be friends but not here, this place isn't for you I don't know what Quinn was thinking about bringing you here." Rachel nodded again and quickly stood up, waving at Noah before hastily leaving the place. Outside Quinn was waiting, leaning against a wall, she grinned at Rachel and held out her arm for the small brunette to take.

"What did Puck wanna talk about?"

"Nothing, just said I shouldn't come here again."

"You took a long time for that, he's right it was stupid of me to drag you here, there's creeps round every corner."

"Well I have you here to keep me safe." Quinn grinned at Rachel nervously, and shook her head a bit.

"Don't count on me to protect you Rachel, I'll do my best but people who have trusted me to save them have lost their lives, I'm not good at saving anyone." Rachel's heart broke a little looking at Quinn who was staring at her feet whilst she spoke, Rachel's eyes were slightly teary, the young blonde had saved Rachel before they even knew each others names but even now she doubted herself.

**ooOOOoo Quinn's POV**

Quinn watched Rachel point excitedly to a painting that she wasn't really paying attention to, the brunette was speaking rapidly and joyously about the art piece, Quinn wasn't really looking at anything but Rachel. Her eyes lit up and the had a hint of a smile when she saw something that she really liked and her nose would scrunch up if she didn't like it. Although the people around were making her anxious and wary she was glad that she had suggested the gallery to Rachel, she was much happier here than she had been at Puck's. He hadn't been happy to see Rachel here, he'd insulted her and told her that she was an idiot for bringing her, he had several things lying around that if Rachel spotted them wouldn't Quinn wouldn't be able to explain without revealing what Puck did for a living. Despite Puck's anger he had agreed to give Quinn the money that she needed and told her not to visit again for a couple of weeks because he had an important deal going on that he couldn't be distracted from.

The blonde turned to Rachel again who was looking expectantly at her, with both hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised.

"You weren't paying attention, I knew you weren't having fun we can go if you want, there's other things we can do." Quinn knew Rachel didn't want to leave, she was having fun learning about the different pieces here and she couldn't cut that short.

"It's not really my thing, but we should stay, you're enjoying yourself and so I'm enjoying myself too." Rachel pouted at Quinn.

"Are you sure? We could do something else." Quinn shook her head, the truth was that she wouldn't care where they were none of the places in New York entertained her, but she liked spending time with Rachel so would happily do whatever she wanted to.

"Okay then, lets play a game it might make things a bit more fun." Quinn lifted her eyebrow at Rachel, she didn't see how they could play a game in the art gallery, she was pretty sure if they tried tag or hide & seek they would be kicked out pretty shortly.

"Alright I'll point to an art piece and you tell me what you think is going on, no peeking at the description." Quinn nodded, she didn't really get any of what the art was trying to say, most pieces were quite abstract and confused her, she didn't see why they couldn't just be clear about what they were trying to convey. Rachel pointed to a canvas that was painted azure blue, with gold spirals that were blended into the blue, at the bottom there was a woman painted in darker blues and reds standing next to a silhouette of a man, he was painted in faded grey's and was barely visible, the woman was crying and appeared to be in immense pain, her hand was in his.

"Uh I think it's meant to be loss, uhh the man is faded to show that he's not there anymore kinda just a faded memory, once somebody dies you struggle to remember what they look like and so there face just sort of disappears, and he's not in colour because he's dead so unable to feel any emotions he's just an empty corpse, the woman is um angry and sad; the blue is meant to signify her sadness and depressed emotion and the reds show her fury with not being able to do anything about it no matter how hard she wants to, the two were probably lovers, which is why they're holding hands but she's unable to reach out to him which is why her hand is so vibrant where as his is barely visible. It's uhh nice I like that one." Quinn turned to look at Rachel again, the brunette was watching Quinn with an expression that the blonde couldn't place. She looked into Rachel's wide eyes, she could make out the different shades of brown in them, they were quite dark and right now Quinn couldn't figure out what they were expressing. The brunettes mouth was slightly agape, showing her white teeth. Neither of them said anything for a while just taking the other one in, judging each other silently. After a few minutes of observing Rachel turned and looked for the paintings description.

"It's called Voile de la mort, it was painted in 1962, it's by an unknown artist, the vibrant colours were typical of modern art at this period in time, it's believed that the woman is mourning for her husband or a lost lover." Quinn nodded not saying anything else, waiting for Rachel to speak again.

"I preferred your description."

"You did?"

"Mmhmm it was beautiful, but sad."

"I didn't want to make you sad." Quinn brought her hand to Rachel's cheek and gently brushed away a tear that had fallen, Rachel's eyes fluttered shut and she lent into Quinn's hand. She held Rachel's face in her palm, caressing her cheek, her skin was soft under her fingers and she felt Rachel tremble slightly under her touch. Quinn continued to trail her hand across the brunettes face, she traced Rachel's defined cheekbones moving her hand to outline her nose, she brought her hand to cradle Rachel's strong jawline following it with her fingertips, Rachel sighed out closing her eyes and letting Quinn continue to map out a path across her face. Quinn lightly grazed her knuckles on her cheeks before gently trailing her fingertip across Rachel's closed eyes. Neither of them noticed how close together they were, they both inched nearer to the other, seeking out each other's warmth, Quinn's boots were pressed against Rachel's converse and she could feel the brunette's breath against her skin. Quinn lent forward not entirely sure what she was doing but wanting to be closer to Rachel, Quinn swallowed her heart was beating wildly and her palms were clammy, her mouth was dry and her mind clouded over as Rachel drew nearer.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen the gallery is closing in less than ten minutes, if you would all please make your way outside as soon as possible so we can close up." Quinn jumped back from Rachel with wide startled eyes, the brunette looked equally as shocked. She didn't know how she had nearly _done that _with Rachel! Of course she found the brunette attractive, because she was and you would have to be blind not to see that, but she couldn't be attracted to the girl. She would never take advantage of Rachel like that, it was wrong, the brunette cared for her and looked out for Quinn, it wouldn't be right of her to see the girl like that. So why did she feel an ache in her chest at the missed opportunity to feel Rachel's mouth on hers, why did the thought of having her lips pressed against the brunettes make her stomach tingle and her mind flare up with ideas. _I bet her lips are soft._ Quinn struggled internally with thoughts about Rachel that filled her with guilt and want, whilst Rachel watched on as the blonde panicked.

"I shit. I have to go. Sorry." Quinn didn't wait for a response before turning on her heel and running away from Rachel, she felt bad for just leaving her there however she couldn't stay there, with each passing second she had begun to feel increasingly more trapped.

**ooOOOoo Rachel's POV**

"Oh Quinn." Rachel watched the retreating blonde run away from her with worry filled eyes. Who knows where the blonde would go, she didn't think that it would be back to her apartment, and Noah had told her not to visit him any time soon. She brought her hand up to her still tingling face, she could almost feel the blondes touch, Rachel didn't know why having Quinn's skin on hers had elicited that response from her, all that she knew was that she felt a horrible ache in her chest when Quinn had fled.

"Ma'am I'm sorry but we're closing up now." Rachel jumped at the sudden voice that broke her trance, she turned to face the middle aged man who had addressed her and nodded slightly at him, she shuffled towards the exit, dragging her feet and barely taking in her surroundings.

She continued to walk once she got outside, not paying attention to where she was headed. It was cold out, and the brunette was in just a pair of jeans and a long sleeve jumper, it felt like the cold wind was biting at her skin whilst she walked. After another ten minutes of persevering through the harsh weather the diva resigned and gave in to finding warmth, glancing around she didn't know where she was, having not been to this part of New York before, there were several shops that were now closed and a few apartment building, but no where that looked like suitable shelter. Rachel shivered and rubbed her freezing lips together as well as her hands, it rewarded her with the smallest amount of warmth but she still felt too cold, if she didn't find somewhere to heat up soon she was sure that she would end up getting a cold or worse hypothermia! She continued walking, ignoring the occasional person she would pass, a few creepy looking men who had spent their nights drinking too much most likely winked at her, one even attempted to talk to her before she shot him down quickly and ran in the opposite direction. She checked her phone, it had been thirty minutes since she had been outside, thirty minutes since she had left the gallery's warmth, and thirty minutes since Quinn had left her.

This was now officially turning into one of the worst nights of the small brunette's life, she felt like stopping to cry in frustration, she was completely lost and had nobody to call for help. She didn't recognise any of the streets...however what she did recognise was the familiar sign that said subway. Rachel grinned and did a quick celebratory dance before rushing down the steps, she sighed at the instant warmth, it wasn't comfortably warm but it was a lot better than outside, despite the slightly rotten smell that permeated the air.

She walked around a little bit before stopping to read a map, currently she was...God knows where, but far away from Quinn's apartment. It would be fairly easy to get back however, all she needed was the right train, unfortunately she didn't have any money on her, Quinn had paid for everything today. She huffed before setting off again, keeping her body heat up would be easier if she kept moving.

"Any change?" Rachel furrowed her brow, swiveling around at the hoarse and croaky voice. A homeless man was sitting with his dog on the floor holding a tin mug with a few coins inside. From the look of him, he was dangerously thin and tired, he had a scraggly beard and beady eyes that seemed to follow Rachel's movements, his clothes were dirty and had holes in, and his teeth were missing the remaining ones were yellowing.

"No, sorry."

"Please, just a few coins, I'm not asking for much." Rachel felt sorry for the man, he was obviously desperate, she knew that if she was every short for money that it would hurt her pride to have to ask strangers for help, she wanted to aid the man however she didn't even have enough money for the train. She felt around in her pockets, but all she had was a stick of gum and a pen, she rummaged around in her bag as well but there wasn't any money to be had.

"Sorry, I really don't have anything, I have gum if you're hungry, although it's not really food." The man smiled crookedly at her and patted the space next to him and his dog, on his ratty blanket.

"It's alright love, most people just turn their noses up at me, I think I'll take that gum though, thanks." Rachel shrugged figuring that sitting next to him would at least be warmer, and plonked herself next to him and handed over the gum. He eagerly ripped open the wrapper and shoved it in him mouth moaning in delight at the taste, Rachel didn't think gum was that good, but she supposed it would be if you were starving.

"Mm I'm Frank, what's your name then?"

"Rachel."

"Nice to meet you Rachel, you're a nice kid, better than half of these arseholes who think they're better than me!" His shout garnered a few stares from angry and disgusted subway users, strangely their gazes didn't embarrass the diva but only angered her, she felt that Frank was right, just because he was homeless didn't make him less of a person than everybody else. She didn't agree with being called a kid though, she was a grown woman and made her own decisions...just not the one to be lost at twelve am in New York.

"I-if you don't mind me asking-"

"Ask away sweetheart, not many people speak to me, I'll be more than glad to answer whatever." Rachel nodded at him and reached out to hesitantly pet the dog that was warily eyeing her.

"Um w-why-how did you come to be here?" Frank chuckled at her and fiddled with his beard.

"I walked, down them stairs there, then sat down right here." Rachel laughed at his joke, glad that he was friendly enough to do so and wasn't offended by her question.

"No I used to be in the army, served for fifteen years then I got dishonorably discharged with not even so much as a thank you, no I was told to be on my way, I couldn't function and I eventually lost my wife, my house and my kids won't speak to me, so here I am."

"Here you are." Rachel was appalled that this had happened to Frank, she didn't like to think that Quinn could have been in this situation, she knew with different circumstances then the brunette was likely to have just walked past her without noticing or maybe giving her a few dollars before setting off on her way again, she had to be grateful that Quinn wasn't homeless and that the brunette was able to help her.

"Well at least I've got both my legs I say."

"That's good I suppose."

"Yeah although legs don't feed me, unless I decide to go cannibal on myself, and I'm a while away from that yet. Anyway what's a nice young girl like you doing here at this time anyway, don't you know that it's dangerous to be on the streets alone?"

"I was with a friend, we-well I think we fell out although I'm not sure, she ran away from me and she wants to be far away from me at the moment." Frank nodded at her, whilst frowning.

"She doesn't sound like a good friend to be leaving you here."

"She is!" Frank laughed at her outburst, shaking his head a bit at her.

"I didn't mean no offense by it kid, all I meant was that she shouldn't have left you with no way home."

"She wouldn't have, I mean she did, but it wasn't really her fault you see. She was scared and ran from me, otherwise she'd protect me."

"Well friends fight and make up all the time, what'd you do to argue anyway, steal her boyfriend?" Frank grinned at Rachel again, letting her know that he was kidding again.

"I didn't steal her boyfriend no." Rachel contemplated sharing their sort of fight, but not really because you'd have to actually say something for it to constitute as a fight, with Frank she may as well because she didn't think that he was likely to judge, and he had shared some of his life with the brunette.

"We kissed, well almost kissed."

"Who?"

"Me and my friend, me and Quinn, she tried to kiss me." Now that she had said it out loud she almost couldn't believe it herself, and apparently from Frank's shocked face neither could he.

"Well you don't hear that everyday."

"Yeah."

"So I take it, you don't feel the same and pushed her away, so you fought." Rachel bit her lip, her response to Quinn's earlier touch sure didn't feel like she didn't like Quinn, but she couldn't be sure. She hadn't thought about Quinn like that, she'd seen Quinn naked and it hadn't phased her, although she had been focused on taking care of the blonde for most of those encounters.

"You do like her?" Rachel shrugged at Frank's question, not able to give him a definitive answer.

"Why did you push her away then?"

"I didn't, I was going to let her. I wanted her to, but we got interrupted."

"Oh."

"Then she panicked and ran."

"And you didn't go after her?"

"No. I mean was I meant to, she wouldn't have run if she wanted to be around me."

"It sounds like she wanted to be around you but was just scared, you should probably tell her you're not angry or disgusted, she probably just needs you to reassure her." Rachel laughed, she was getting sound advice from a stranger she had met less than ten minutes ago, and it made a lot of sense.

"You know Frank I think you're right."

"Of course I am, I'm an old man I've picked up a few things over the years."

"You're not that old, you look pretty good to me." Frank clutched his stomach and laughed, whilst Rachel grinned beside him.

"Oh I do like you, I tell you what Rachel I'll make a deal with you."

"Um okay, what's the deal?"

"I have some money lying around here, enough to get you home I should think, you can have it if you promise to bring this Quinn to see me one day, I'll be here for a while so it'll be pretty easy to find me again."

"Oh Frank I don't know, I can't take your money, you need it way more than me-"

"No consider it a favour, if it really bugs you that much then you can pay me back when you bring this girl to meet me. Now, I'm going to give you this money whatever call it a good deed, you sat with me and talked to me like an actual person Rachel, the most I usually get is a pitiful look and money, now don't get me wrong I'm grateful for the money but it's nice to talk to someone, it gets lonely around here."

"It was nice to talk to you Frank, and I'll make sure that Quinn gets to meet you, she'd like you she was in the army too." Frank raised his eyebrow at that and rummaged underneath his blanket before giving Rachel the money she needed for a train fare.

"Thank You Frank, I really hope that you aren't here though when I come back, because that means that you're still without a home or people who love you and take care of you, and everybody needs someone like that."

"Look out for yourself kid." Rachel nodded at Frank before standing up and heading off, she figured that just maybe Quinn may be at home.

ooOOOoo

Quinn paced up and down, she was in her apartment, she had walked the streets for about an hour before deciding to go back home and face Rachel, only the brunette wasn't there. This was it, she knew that she would do something to drive the girl away, it was only a matter of time. She didn't know how she could have been so stupid earlier to almost kiss her, she was just standing there and Rachel's gaze was so intense, she had been caught up in the moment.

"Argh!" Quinn lashed out and slammed her fist against her wall, she put a hole straight through it and dust and plaster flew up, making her cough. She winced, taking a closer look at her bruised hand, her knuckles were split and red, but it could have been worse, she'd luckily not broken anything, or she would have been in a lot more pain. And as far as Quinn was concerned the pain from possibly wrecking things with Rachel, was more than enough.

There was a thudding at her door, and she heart the handle being roughly shaken, she'd locked it earlier, after about nine she did so, not wanting to risk anybody getting into her apartment. The only two people who would knock for her were Puck and Rachel, and after today Puck was not an option. Quinn's eyes went wide and she scrambled to the door, nearly falling in the progress and managing to crash into several walls in her race to open the door. She made quick work of the locks, swearing when the door didn't open fast enough, when the door finally opened Quinn nearly yelled in joy at the sight of Rachel standing there. She didn't care that Rachel might be upset with her, but she had been worried about where she was and now that the brunette was here Quinn's fears were calmed and she felt immense joy, which was why she lent down and wrapped her arms tightly around Rachel before lifting her into the air and spinning a couple of times. After being put down, Rachel smiled at Quinn's silliness before walking into the apartment.

A few minutes later and both of them were holding glasses of rum that Quinn had found, whilst sitting on the couch next to each other. Quinn didn't attempt to speak, worried about what Rachel may say, and if it would be to tell her that she didn't want anything to do with the blonde anymore. Quinn drew a deep breath when Rachel turned to face her, she closed her eyes tightly not wanting to watch whilst the one good thing in her life was taken away, she didn't want to accept it.

"Quinn?"

"No."

"Quinn sweetie?"

"No Rachel."

"Quinn, we need to talk."

ooOOOoo

**Dun dun dunnnn, okay leaving it there because it's 5am and I'm exhausted, plus I do like cliff hangers and I haven't really had any in this story so far. It's longer than the past chapters, so hope you like it, please review. No need to tell you what will happen in the next chapter, it's pretty obvious that it will be a discussion, what happens however is still being decided. **


	12. Chapter 11

**Okay next chapter guys, hope you enjoy and please review.**

**Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine, or it'd be all faberry and maybe quinntana**

**ooOOOoo**

"Quinn?"

"No."

"Quinn sweetie?"

"No Rachel."

"Quinn, we need to talk."

Quinn refused to look up, she just couldn't face Rachel right now, she had ruined everything and now the only friend she'd had in a long time was going to leave her because she had been so idiotic. Quinn didn't think she'd be able to face the look of disgust in Rachel's eyes. She shook lightly, clenching her fists tight; wincing at her bruised fist from earlier damaging the wall. She drew in a sharp breath and tensed at the feeling of Rachel putting her hand on hers, this would probably be the last time Rachel would touch her. Quinn brought her legs up, and tucked her knees underneath her chin, burying her face and wrapping her arms tightly around herself. Rachel's hand was still tightly anchored onto Quinn's own, making it throb slightly, but she offered no complain, not wanting their contact to end.

"Look at me please." Rachel's voice had taken on a worried tone that made Quinn suck her bottom lip in between her teeth and chew on it slightly, she didn't like being the one to make Rachel worry, it made her heart clench painfully and caused a sinking feeling in her stomach. She destroyed everything she touched, she was poison and her earlier actions further proved this, Rachel, her one thing to live for in life, probably hated, she had wrecked their close friendship they had formed. She had been caught up in the fantastically, beautiful, awe inspiring woman the brunette was, it was hard not to, even Puck was amazed by the energetic diva. She felt herself shake at what her life would be like without Rachel, she had only known her for a couple of weeks, but in that short time the girl had made her happier than she can ever remember being in her life.

"Quinn, please I just-"

"I cant!" Rachel jumped back at the anger in Quinn's voice, the blonde was never angry at her, sure Quinn often lost it around anyone who thought of hurting Rachel, physically or emotionally, but she would never so much as lay a finger on her, so when Rachel flinched Quinn felt a sharp pain jolt through her body.

"God I c-cant."

"Can't what Quinn?"

"Oh God. Oh fuck."

"Quinn you can, we need to talk about today, you can-"

"Jesus Rachel, I don't care about talking!" As soon as Rachel's face fell, and she distanced herself away from Quinn, the blonde knew she'd made a big mistake.

"Wait Rachel that's not what I meant I-"

"No it was clear what you meant." The brunettes voice was full of venom and made Quinn recoil, visibly stung from Rachel's harsh tone.

"It's obvious now that you clearly don't care Quinn. All I wanted was to talk about earlier, but evidently it meant nothing to you, there is no need to worry yourself, I won't bother you about it again." Rachel stood up, ignoring Quinn and walked past her and out of the room, not once glancing back at the wide eyed blonde. Quinn didn't blink at the sound of the door slamming, she just sat there numbly, not fully comprehending what had just happened. She didn't move for a few seconds, furrowing her brow and running over their conversation in her head. Quinn groaned in realisation at what she had done, Rachel had really left...and it actually had been her fault.

"Shit!" Quinn scrambled up in haste and raced to her front door, she thudded into it painfully and hissed out a few curse words before yanking it open and running into the hallway. She ran down it as fast as possible and to the lift, which was thankfully still out of order. Quinn sighed before turning and sprinting back down the hall to the staircase, slamming through the door, this time not letting the pain slow her down. She bounded down the stairs, taking two at a time, she jumped the last six steps, letting out a grunt before hurrying down the next flight.

"Rachel!" She was slamming into walls with each turn she made and the people who she passed were giving her looks as though she had lost her mind. She pushed past all of them, not stopping for even a moment. She had to find Rachel and apologise to her so that they could go back to the way they were before. Quinn was frantically scanning for Rachel, but there was no sign of her. By now she was panting from exertion, but she was no where near to giving up, instead she closed her eyes tightly before vaulting over the railings of the staircase and dropping down to the next flight, she grunted out slightly, before regaining her balance and repeating the exact same thing. If people weren't staring at her before, they definitely were now, people had gaping mouths and expressions of disbelief, she ignored each of them, they weren't Rachel. Quinn reached the ground floor and burst through the door and outside. It was pouring rain, and Quinn nearly fell over at the force of the wind, within a few moments Quinn's clothing was soaked through. The blonde squinted and held her hand over her eyes to clear her vision from the rain, there was no sign of Rachel. Quinn didn't know whether to be relieved that Rachel wasn't out in this weather or angry at herself for letting her go. She rubbed at her face in frustration and growled out.

"Fuck!" Quinn clenched her fists, there was nothing nearby to hit so she settled for digging her nails into her palms and repeatedly swearing.

After another few minutes the blonde gave up, and decided to go back inside rather than contract hypothermia. Once inside she sighed at the instant rush of warmth, she trudged over to the lift and jammed the button a few times, hoping that just maybe it wasn't out of order. Unfortunately her luck had run out and she'd have to climb back up the stairs. _Great._ Quinn stared up at the ceiling for a couple of moments, questioning why life had to be so particularly cruel to her today, hadn't she already been through enough?

Quinn spared a glance to a middle aged woman who was watching her, she felt her body tense and she positioned her body so that she was able to defend herself. The woman noticed that Quinn was watching her and approached the blonde slowly.

"Uhm hello?"

"Can I help you?" Quinn raised her eye at the woman and took a step back, not liking how close she was.

"I saw you searching for somebody, it wouldn't happen to be a short brunette?" Quinn blinked before grasping what the woman had said, she stepped forward and grabbed the woman by both of her arms and yanked her so that Quinn's face was a few centimeters away from hers.

"Where is she? Where did you see her?" The woman stared at her with wide scared eyes whilst trying to loosen Quinn's grip, to no avail.

"I-I don't know i-if it's her, there was a g-girl crying down the road-"

"Which way?"

"Oh it wa-"

"Left or right!"

"Right." Quinn nodded before pushing the woman away and setting off in a run. Her feet pounded against the ground, making a splash and sending water up into her face.

"Rachel!"

Quinn was running too fast to notice the hole in the pavement, she didn't notice it until she felt her body jolt forward. She thrust her arms out in front to attempt to soften the blow, the result was that both her hands and head slammed against the floor. Quinn grunted out in pain as her head rebounded off of the floor.

"Ughh." Her vision swirled in a multitude of colours, before settling on grey spots. Quinn didn't chance moving, not wanting to injure herself further, from what she could tell it was likely that she was concussed. She felt and heard a small crowd gathering around her, whispering if they ought to phone for an ambulance or help her up. After a few more minutes, lest one of the strangers touch her, she pushed herself up slowly whilst wincing at the pain that shot through her hands.

"Oh fuck." A few people grumbled around her, but most walked off once they saw that she was able to move.

"I'm fine, really I'm okay." Quinn grabbed at her head, rubbing the area that stung most, feeling something wet and warm on her hand she quickly looked at it.

"Crap." She rubbed at the sticky blood that now coated her fingers, before wiping them on her t-shirt. Quinn hauled herself up onto her feet, swaying a bit before doubling over and proceeding to empty the contents of her stomach onto the pavement. She shrugged off somebody who had grabbed her arm and said something about going to hospital, not wanting to do anything but find Rachel. She stumbled forward, holding onto her head and trying not to fall over.

"Ra-" Quinn coughed a few times, spitting out saliva and blood.

"R-Rachel!" Quinn gasped and spluttered but continued to scream for the short brunette, not giving up hope that she was still around. She jogged forward a bit, and turned into a small park. Her feet sunk into the muddy grass and she nearly tripped, the blonde turned around a few times scanning for the diva.

"Where the hell are you?" Quinn carried on through the park for a few minutes, not giving up searching. She was filled with relief, disbelief and joy when she made out the figure of a hunched over Rachel sitting on a bench about 100 metres away. Quinn forced her aching legs to move, grunting with effort, she blinked away the spots in her vision and ran forward. Eighty metres. Quinn briefly panicked that it wasn't Rachel sitting there, but somebody completely different, although she didn't know who would be mad enough to sit in the pouring rain. Sixty metres. Quinn gasped out in pain, her head felt like it was about to explode and her ribs felt like they were constricting and tightening against her lungs. Forty metres. She had no idea what she was meant to say once she reached Rachel, whether she would apologise for the almost kiss or apologise for upsetting the diva, or if she should begin by telling Rachel that she couldn't live on without Rachel in her life. Twenty metres. She could clearly make out Rachel's figure now, and she was certain it was her, unless somebody else was wearing the exact same clothing. 10 metres. She couldn't believe how hurtful she had been earlier towards the brunette, she had never been good at acknowledging other people's feelings being so used to looking out for herself, but now she needed to express just what she was feeling to Rachel, the thought of doing so made her want to stop running and hide. Five metres. Quinn pushed forward a few more steps and stopped dead in front of Rachel, panting for breath and leaning over, with her hands on her knees and trying to stay upright.

"R-Rachel" The girl looked at Quinn in shock and worry, her eyes had instantly focused on Quinn's still bleeding face. The girl made a move to stand up and reach for Quinn but the blonde shook her head and pushed Rachel to sit down on the bench.

"J-just give m-me a second." Quinn wheezed and coughed a few more specs of blood up, much to Rachel's horror. When Quinn was able to stand upright, without gasping for air or blurred vision she signaled to Rachel that she was fine.

"Rachel."

"Quinn? What the hell happened to your fa-"

"That's not important, I'm fine." Rachel pouted slightly but nodded, knowing that the blonde wasn't lying."

"I need to say something, I mean well-shit. Okay I'm not good with expressing how I'm feeling, I never have been, I always kept to myself and remained emotionally untouchable...but that was until I met you. You know what I'm feeling with one look, I can't hide from you...and it's taken me far too long to realise, that I don't want to. I want to be able to share what I'm thinking with you, I want you to know how I feel. So this is it Rachel, this is what I'm feeling." Quinn closed her eyes and bit her lip hard, she furrowed her brow and took a deep breath to try and gain some courage.

"Rachel you have the power to make me happier than I've ever been in my life, and the power to completely break me. You take care of me, you put my feelings before your own, nobody has ever done that for me before. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry because I'm not worth a moment of your time, y-you are _so _amazing, and I'm just some broken fuck up. You are the only person I have ever truly cared for, and I c-even the thought of you leaving me it makes me die inside. I owe you so much, because I was so alone and so broken, then you-you happened, and what I'm trying to say is thank you Rachel because without you I don't know where I would be right now." Quinn finished her speech, and opened her eyes to take in Rachel's reaction. The brunette was sitting there numbly with tears running down her cheeks, and her rain matted hair across her face.

"Say something, please." Quinn panicked that she had ruined things with her confession.

"Rache-"

"Shut up." Rachel stood up abruptly and grabbed the front of Quinn's t-shirt. Quinn worried that Rachel might actually hit her, although she thought that it would probably hurt Rachel more than it would Quinn.

"Just-God for somebody bad with words you really do know how to make somebody speechless." Quinn smiled nervously, taking what Rachel had said as a good thing.

"Um okay that-mmmff." Quinn was cut off when Rachel smashed her mouth into her own. She opened her eyes and quickly snapped them shut again. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, people often describe fireworks but for Quinn that seemed like far too cliche and she didn't see why people would see fireworks and not be focusing on whoever they were kissing, no if she had to say she felt something it was mind numbing and absolute pure joy mixed with disbelief all running through her mind at the same time. Rachel's lips were hot against her own chapped ones, they felt like they were meant to be pressed against her own, like they belonged. Quinn finally overcame the shock and began to move her lips against Rachel's, drawing a moan from the small brunette. Quinn clenched and un-clenched her hands, not sure where to put them, Rachel seemed to take note of this and took Quinn's hands, moving them to rest on the diva's hips. Quinn sighed and pulled Rachel closer to her, lightly massaging her waist with her thumbs.

"Shit." Quinn couldn't stop the expletive falling from her lips, but Rachel didn't appear to care. In fact Quinn was sure that it spurred Rachel to deepen the kiss, taking Quinn's bottom lip between her teeth and lightly biting. Rachel had moved her hands, one was tangled in damp blonde tresses and the other was holding Quinn's neck, pulling her closer towards her.

"Don't. You. Dare. Think. You. Are. Less. Than. Me." Each of Rachel's words was between a sloppy amazing kiss, that left Quinn only able to nod before her lips were once again attached to the brunettes.

"You. Are. Not. A. Fuck. Up." Rachel bit Quinn's lip hard, making the blonde gasp out in slight pain. Rachel soothed the bite with a hot tongue, swiping it across Quinn's swollen bottom lip before pushing it through Quinn's slightly open lips. Quinn moaned at the feeling of Rachel's tongue massaging hers, she could feel the diva panting into her mouth. The blonde's head was buzzing at the lack of air, but she wasn't going to stop any time soon. She moved her hands so that they were cupping Rachel's behind, and squeezed gently, making the girl moan out and cuss. Quinn didn't think that she had ever heard anything sexier, and was determined to make Rachel moan out again. She separated their lips, and nibbled at Rachel's bottom lip, whilst fondling the girls bottom.

Quinn wasn't sure how long they had kissed, but neither of them cared when they both reared back gasping for breath with kiss swollen lips and flushed faces, only wanting to kiss each other again. Quinn didn't think that she could do so without fainting so settled for holding Rachel tight against her.

"That was...fuck." Quinn nodded and pecked Rachel's lips lightly.

"We should have done that ages ago." Quinn chuckled into Rachel's neck.

"I would have been too scared to."

"You aren't scared now?"

"I'm terrified."

"What changed?"

"I figured that if I can survive a war, then I should be able to survive a short diva." Quinn pouted when Rachel hit her arm and moved away from her.

"You're awful." Quinn stuck her tongue out at her and kicked muddy puddle water at Rachel; who screamed and ran away. Quinn laughed before giving chase, fully intending to tackle Rachel into the mud.

ooOOOoo

Quinn sat shivering next to Rachel on the couch, both of them were chilled to the bone and had blankets draped over them. As soon as they had got home they had fought over the shower, after ten minutes when both of them were still drenched and caked in mud they settled for showering together...fully clothed of course.

"If I get pneumonia and die, I'm coming back to haunt you." Quinn rolled her eyes at Rachel's dramatics.

"You're not going to die Rachel."

"How do you know that, pneumonia affects roughly-"

"Rachel!" Quinn sighed in relief once she had the brunettes full attention.

"You aren't going to catch Pneumonia from being out in the rain. It's caused by a bacterial infection in your lungs, the chance of you catching it is practically zero, you're more likely to catch hypothermia from being outside." As Quinn took in Rachel's wide panicked eyes she realised her mistake and groaned.

"Oh my God what if I have hypothermia, Quinn we need to go to the hospital-mmmff." Quinn felt a bit bad for cutting Rachel off, but not for long because now the diva wasn't panicking for no reason, and Quinn was kissing her again. The blonde closed her eyes at the sensation of Rachel's lips against hers.

"Mmm Quinn...should...hospital...mmm...okay." Quinn smiled when Rachel gave in and trailed kisses from her lips, to across her cheeks and down her jawline. With each kiss Quinn could feel Rachel becoming more relaxed, by the time she had reached her neck she had completely melted into Quinn, letting out sighs every now and then. Quinn smirked before grabbing ahold of the diva and moving her so she was straddling Quinn's lap, Rachel squealed in surprise before reattaching their lips together. Quinn gasped out when Rachel began to trail nips and kisses down her neck, the brunette bit harshly on white flesh making Quinn cry out, Rachel pecked kisses along her neck and soothed the bite with her tongue in apology.

"Mmm...christ Rachel." The blonde dragged the girl back up, quickly kissing her again. She moaned out at the feeling of a warm tongue swiping her bottom lip, she opened her mouth allowing Rachel to deepen the kiss. Again Quinn was stumped for where to put her hands, after waving them around she gently put them on Rachel's shoulders. A few moments later Rachel drew back, much to Quinn's displeasure. She took in Rachel's flushed skin and rapid breathing, and assumed that Rachel was out of breath.

"Are you okay?" Rachel nodded at her and pecked her lips briefly.

"Are you, you seem nervous." Quinn flushed and looked away from Rachel, but the diva held her face and turned it so that they were making eye contact.

"What's wrong? If you want to slow down I'm fine with that, I don't want to push you into doing anything you-"

"No, no it's not that it's just been a while since I kissed anyone, I'm a bit shaky is all." Rachel nodded whilst smiling.

"Do you want to stop?" Rachel had a concerned look on her face, the blonde was overwhelmed with how caring the brunette was being. Instead of responding verbally Quinn wrapped her arms hesitantly around Rachel's waist and pulled her close. She was able to smell the vanilla shower wash that the girl had used earlier, she sighed and buried her face into where Rachel's shoulder met her neck and breathed in deeply. Quinn peppered kisses on tan skin, sucking warm flesh into her mouth.

"I'll take that as a no?" Quinn smirked and sucked harder on Rachel's delicious skin, revelling in the gasp she elicited from the smaller girl. Quinn grinned mischievously when she was struck with an idea.

"You know Rachel?"

"Hmm?" The brunette had her eyes clamped shut and her hands were wrapped in Quinn's hair, keeping her close. The blonde went back to her task of marking Rachel's neck, smiling in triumph at the noticeable bruise she left.

"You may be right about having hypothermia, you feel pretty cold." Quinn held Rachel closer when she felt her tense up and tried not to laugh, not wanting to give things away. She moved her lips so that she was whispering into Rachel's ear, and bit it gently before husking her next words.

"Maybe I should play doctor and...heat you up." Rachel's moan told her that she was enjoying herself greatly which was why she felt a little bad about her next actions. The brunette landed on the floor with a thud, after a few moments she opened her eyes to see a laughing blonde on the couch.

"You little ugh!" Rachel crossed her arms and huffed.

"Do you need help getting up?" Quinn wasn't sure how to react when Rachel flipped her off and stormed into the bedroom.

ooOOOoo

Quinn woke with a start, her heart was thumping like mad and she was hot and sticky with sweat, she exhaled sharply through her nose. It was stupid to think that she wouldn't have a bad dream tonight, they happened every night, regardless of anything. She rubbed at her brow, wiping sweat from her forehead, her head throbbed and each time she closed her eyes she got flashes of her slowly fading dream.

_"Move Fabray!" _

_Black. Red. Fire._

Quinn panicked and reached out for Rachel, who was tangled in the sheets with one leg thrown over Quinn's waist. She shook her arm and threw herself into the brunette's arms as soon as she opened her eyes.

"Quinn? What's wrong?" Her voice was rough from sleep and she was looking increasingly scared as Quinn continued to cling to her.

"Bad dream." Quinn didn't offer any more information, but that didn't prevent Rachel from wrapping her arms securely around the shaking blonde and offer words of comfort.

"It's okay I'm here, I've got you." Rachel stroked Quinn's back soothingly and brushed her hair out of her face. Ten minutes later Quinn's breathing had evened out and she was no longer shaking.

"How are you feeling?"

"Rough, I have a headache." Rachel hummed and pressed her lips against Quinn's.

"Well you do have a cut on your forehead, which I would like to know where from." Quinn blushed and bit her lip, Rachel was looking at her expectantly, but she really didn't want to tell her, it was embarrassing.

"Quinn?" Rachel's voice was stern and Quinn knew that there wasn't another option, she did have to admit she quite enjoyed being told what to do by Rachel, she wondered if she would be this commanding in bed. Quinn blushed furiously and looked down at her hands.

"Christ Quinn, please just tell me what happened to your head."

"It's really not that bad Rachel, it's nothing to worry-"

"Then tell me and I will decide for myself whether I ought to worry or not."

"I fell."

"You fell?" Quinn winced at Rachel's disbelieving tone.

"I-I was running after you and there um, I tripped...there was a pothole, I'm sorry." Quinn gasped in surprise when Rachel crashed their mouths together.

"Dont...be...sorry." Rachel pushed Quinn down on the bed before straddling her and continuing the kiss. It was fair to say that if each time she woke up from a nightmare Quinn would receive kisses, then she could learn to live with them.

**ooOOOoo**

**Okay I am gonna end it here, I was planning on it being longer but that would mean no update for longer so here you go. I wasn't planning what happened in this chapter but kinda went with it. Please review, it'd make my day and I love knowing what you guys think.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, well now that they have ****_finally_**** kissed gonna have a more romantic chapter, happy days for the two of them. I'd just like to say thank you to everybody who has reviewed, I really appreciate that you've taken time to tell me what you think and I am overjoyed that people are so positive to this story. I hope you all enjoy any future chapters and work I may write. **

**ooOOOoo**

The first thing Rachel noticed when she woke up was that there was a mass of blonde hair tickling her face, when she went to move it, she found out that both of her arms were being pinned down by Quinn's body. She couldn't help the grin that broke out on her face, Quinn was adorable when she slept, her face had a peaceful look that she never had when awake. The blonde was peacefully sleeping and was half on top of Rachel, her hair was a wild mess and sprawled out in all directions, Rachel blushed when she noticed a collection of small love bites littering Quinn's neck. She honestly hadn't intended to, but kissing Quinn made her lose control, whilst kissing the blonde all she was able to think about was that it felt so good, she had gotten carried away it seemed. She knew that she was by no means ready to have sex with Quinn, and she knew that Quinn wasn't ready either, she didn't think that she wanted to take things that far with the blonde until they had established a relationship, when or if that would happen she didn't know. She knew that she felt strongly for Quinn, but she still didn't know what she wanted, it wouldn't be wise for the two of them to enter a relationship so quickly, despite living with Quinn she still barely knew anything about her, not to mention the fact the she was still very much damaged from being at war, Quinn should be focusing on her recovery rather than a relationship, and Rachel had no idea how long that would take, but she knew it wouldn't be any time soon.

Rachel gently extracted her arm from underneath Quinn, holding her breath when the blonde stirred, she sighed in relief when she continued to sleep. The diva reached forward and brushed blonde tresses away from Quinn's face, stroking her cheek with her thumb, Quinn's skin looked a lot healthier since her improved diet, she had lost the deathly pallor she previously possessed and her skin was now a milky white, with a healthy blush on her cheeks. Her bones were still prominent, Rachel could clearly see her collarbones and ribs, but she supposed Quinn would eventually gain enough weight to be considered healthy. She trailed her hand down the side of Quinn's face and down the side of her neck, moving her hair aside before pressing quick kiss to Quinn's jaw. She continued her path with her hand, frowning when her fingers ran over a jagged scar that ran from just above Quinn's collarbone to below her shirt.

"How did you get all these scars, who hurt you?" Rachel had been mumbling to herself, so when Quinn turned to face her with open eyes, she jumped at being caught.

"How long have y-you been up?" Quinn smiled at her, chuckling softly.

"Long enough to know that your a perve."

"Hey! I was completely innocent."

"Oh? So I didn't feel you kissing my neck just now?" Rachel blushed whilst swatting at the laughing blonde. Quinn had no trouble in halting Rachel's flying hands, and easily flipped her so that Rachel was underneath her on the bed, with both of the diva's arms pinned to the bed in Quinn's hold.

"Mmm my turn." Rachel smiled when Quinn began leaving hot kisses on her jaw and neck, turning her head so that Quinn had more room to work with. When Quinn captured her lips with her own she moaned and hurriedly lent up into the kiss, frustrated that she couldn't move her hands to pull Quinn fully on top of her. Quinn pulled back after a few more seconds, licking her lips and smirking down at the squirming diva.

"I'll tell you one day, not yet, but one day." Rachel quirked her eyebrow at Quinn, not sure what she was saying.

"My past...but for now we should get up we're busy today."

"Are we now?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Doing what?"

"Nope, it's a surprise so up up up! And no pouting." Rachel scowled at a now chuckling blonde, who was already leaving the room.

ooOOOoo

Rachel looked warily at the blonde next to her, who was currently leading her towards the subway. Rachel was bundled up in several layers of clothing, Quinn had insisted upon layering up and now the diva was struggling to move, on the plus side she was toasty warm. Quinn on the other hand was in jeans, a shirt and a military issued jacket, she didn't seem to be bothered by the cold in the slightest. Quinn glanced at her before looping her arm through Rachel's and marching on.

"Quinnnn?"

"No Rach, I told you that it is a surprise." Rachel huffed at the blonde, Quinn had told her that she was impatient and promised that the surprise would be worth the wait. Rachel trusted the blonde was telling the truth, however that didn't mean she would stop asking her.

Once they were on the subway, with Rachel seated and Quinn standing due to a lack if seats, the diva realised that Quinn was not going to give anything away, so turned so she was looking away from the blonde. Quinn was smiling down at the other girl, who had noticed but chose to ignore Quinn in order to continue sulking. Quinn continued to stare intensely at Rachel, the diva shuffled under the blondes watch and avoided looking at Quinn. When Quinn hadn't looked away a couple of minutes later Rachel turned her head sharply, to tell Quinn of for not bring respectful of her sulking, when she glared at Quinn the girl looked embarrassed at being caught and blushed heavily, it was only because Quinn looked very cute and appropriately chastised that Rachel didn't say anything.

The train lurched to a halt, jerking Quinn and the other passengers violently, Rachel stood unaffected and waltzed of of the train, with Quinn behind her grumbling about public transport. Once they were out of the subway Quinn grabbed Rachel's arm once more and led them down a few roads, Rachel noticed that Quinn looked anxious, her lip was drawn between her teeth and she had a line in between her brows from drawing them together. She barely noticed when Quinn stopped, but when the blonde didn't go to move, Rachel looked up at what was an old, tall building. She turned to Quinn for an explanation but the girl shook her bead before heading inside, Rachel trailed after her, following Quinn down a narrow corridor and up an elevator to the 5th floor, she was led along to a room with an elderly couple, a young man and a middle aged woman. She quickly realised that this was a waiting room, she faced Quinn who was now sitting and slowly lowered herself into an armchair.

"Quinn where are we?"

"A waiting room."

"Yes I realise that but for what?"

"I have a therapy appointment here, and then we're going to get coffee." Quinn said it so offhandedly that Rachel was a little irked.

"Therapy session?"

"You're a very good listener."

"Quinn!"

"Okay okay, I just thought that you might like to come with me, I trust you more than anyone and I thought that this could be a way of you getting to know more about me. I understand it's a big step so if you don't want to you can go get coffee and wait for me." Rachel smiled at the girl, realising that Quinn was willing to be more open with her, the blonde had been right in saying it was a nice surprise.

"Of course I want to be here Quinn, how could you think I wouldn't want to support you in recovering?"

"I uhh didn't really but I wanted to give you the option of saying no." Rachel smiled again at Quinn's thoughtfulness and gave a quick squeeze to one of the blondes hands.

"Captain Fabray Dr Chang is ready for you." Rachel raised her brow at the term, planning to ask Quinn about it later. She follwed Quinn into another room, noticing a man who looked to be thirty or so, sitting in a chair opposite them both.

"Hello again Quinn, I hope you're doing well."

"Yeah I'm fine." Rachel looked expectingly to Quinn, waiting to be introduced, Quinn however wasn't paying attention to her. She rolled her eyes and smiled at the doctor, offering her hand to him. He took it and smiled in return, chuckling a bit at Quinn who was now fidgeting iN a seat.

"Are you not going to tell me who this lovely woman accompanying you is?"

"She's my...close friend."

"Well it's nice to meet you close friend of Quinn's, I am glad she has someone to look out for her."

"Rachel please, and it is lovely to meet you as well." Rachel took a seat next to Quinn, who was moving her leg up and down, she reached for her leg and rubbed it gently until it was still. Neither of them paid attention to Dr Chang watching them with interested eyes.

"Okay Quinn seeing as we have Rachel joining us today, I figure that we'll start with you telling me about your past week, namely if there have been any panic attacks."

Quinn licked her lips nervously and turned to Rachel who gave her an encouraging smile.

"Um I haven't had any panic attacks or flash backs for a little while, they haven't stopped so I guess I'm just waiting for the next one to happen. I still have nightmares every night, mostly the same one, sometimes something else. Um my eating is better, I've gained about three pounds."

"That's good to hear, it seems that you're not having panic attacks so frequently, which is a positive sign, and I am pleased to hear your diet is improving, my main aim is to have you mentally as well as physically strong."

"What happens in your nightmares?" Rachel knew she probably shouldn't ask, but she had been curious since the first night she stayed at Quinn's, each night she could hear the blonde mumble something in her sleep, and each night Quinn would toss and turn terribly. She was expecting the scared look on Quinn's face, what she wasn't expecting however was an answer, and apparently neither was Dr Chang.

"Sometimes I dream about being a kid with my-with my parents, other times it is missions I carried out in the army, things I saw and did, things that happened."

"Quinn could you tell me and Rachel more about what you did in the army?"

"It was mainly just patrol duty, we hardly ever got called out, I'd just carry out my job for the day and then go back to my bunker, I was only friends with this one guy...Jones he uh well he was nice, nobody else liked me they-I was a woman and the guys didn't like me being there, most of them steered clear, some didn't. Jones was with me on my missions, we did a few together, mainly going into the local towns and protecting the locals against rebels or enemy soldiers, it was never really a risk. There were only two missions I went on where I was in any bad danger."

"And what happened on both of those Quinn." Rachel saw Quinn gulp and took her hand, holding it tightly to let the blonde know she was there for her.

"There was one, we heard about a building full of Taliban, we had the job of taking them out, uhh we had a team of six, but when we got there the building was abandoned, we were going to leave, then four of my team were taken out, and me and Jones were left. We got out, we were nearly away but-they-he." Rachel squeezed Quinn's hand again, rubbing the back of it with her thumb.

"Jones got shot in the chest, we were miles away from base, he was dead long before-I should have done something, it should have been me."

"Don't you dare say that! You-don't you ever."

"He had a wife, and a kid on the way, that kid will never see him, never have a father, I had nobody to care about me, I should have-"

"Well now you do Quinn, if you had died that day I would have never have met you, that creep from the other week would have done God knows what, I can't imagine a world without you in, I wouldn't want a world without you in." Quinn nodded at Rachel, before continuing.

"I was put reassigned and put on watch after a week of returning to base...I-there were two guys who cornered me, I was used to it, but they said something about Jones...I left one of them with a broken jaw, nose and wrist, the other guy well I heard he was still in a wheelchair." Rachel's eyes went wide at the blondes admission, but held back her tongue, grateful that whoever those two scum were hadn't hurt Quinn.

"It was another year before I was sent into the field again, the first couple of missions went without fault, but there was one that didn't. That's the one I dream about the most."

"What happened?" Quinn shook her head at Rachel and turned her head, after that neither she or Dr Chang were able to get her to say anything for the rest of the session, at the end of the session, Rachel thanked Dr Chang and took Quinn's hand as they left.

Quinn didn't say a word on the journey back to the apartment, each time Rachel tried to start a conversation, the blonde would either nod or ignore her completely, so she decided to leave Quinn to whatever it was she was thinking about. Once they were inside the apartment Quinn shut herself in the bathroom, leaving Rachel to occupy herself, she wouldn't lie and say she wasn't disappointed that Quinn had shut her out, but she was also so proud that the blonde had trusted her enough to share a bit more about her past, she knew it was difficult for Quinn, and it would take a lot of time before she could share the darkest parts of herself to the diva. She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Quinn's retching, she winced at the painful sounding noise and got up to check on the blonde. She knocked on the bathroom door and waited for Quinn to reply, her answer was more retching and the sound of Quinn throwing up.

"Okay Quinn, I'm here for you when you come out, I am so proud of you Quinn, you were so great today I know this is hard for you, but you don't have to do it alone anymore." After that she left Quinn, knowing there was nothing more she could say or do. She made two coffee's hoping it would comfort the blonde, and soothe her sure to be sore throat when she came back out from the bathroom. She seated herself on the sofa, and waited for the blonde.

It was another forty minutes before Quinn emerged, shuffling into the room with messy hair, paler than usual skin and red rimmed eyes. Rachel immediately opened her arms for Quinn, who quickly fell into them and buried herself into Rachel's side. Quinn smelt of sick and She trembled in the diva's arms, Rachel didn't know if it was because Quinn was crying or afraid. She shushed her, and ran a soothing hand through a tangled mess of blonde hair. She wasn't sure why she said it, but it felt like the right thing to do in order to comfort Quinn and wash away the smell of vomit.

"Bathe with me." Quinn moved away quickly, with wide child like eyes, scanning the diva and processing what she had just said.

"I don't mean to do anything but wash, you probably have sick on you, and now I'm likely to, and it might be nice to be close to someone right now, if you're uncomfortable then you bathe first and then I can after you." Quinn still looked scared when she kissed Rachel's cheek, not kissing her mouth because of being sick.

"I'd like to bathe with you." Rachel gave Quinn a small smile before kissing her firmly on the mouth, grimacing at the taste. She pulled on Quinn's hand and led her to the bathroom. She ran the bath, adding a few products that she had bought, the bathroom lost the smell of sick instead it was replaced with the aroma of honey and vanilla. Rachel turned to face Quinn, both of them shuffling awkwardly.

"You sure?" Quinn nodded at her, after a few more moments Rachel took a step towards the blonde and slowly reached for her shirt, she lifted Quinn's arms and brought the shirt up gently, before pulling it off and dropping it on the floor. She avoided staring at the large amount of scars on Quinn's torso, some were deep and ran down past the hem of her jeans, others looked more like burn marks, even though she tried not to look it was impossible not to take the scars in, Quinn didn't seem to mind and gently turned Rachel's face back to look at her.

"I'd rather have you see me, than look away like I'm some kind of freak."

"You aren't a freak, it's just I can't help but wonder how you got them, but then I think I really don't want to know." Quinn wiped away a tear from the diva's face and gave her a grimace of a smile.

"It's not a nice story, you don't want to know it, you think so well of me and I know that will change when you find out what happened, what I did."

"Quinn theres nothing you could do that would-"

"Don't. You won't mean that when you find out." Rachel left things there and reached for the front of Quinn's jeans, unbuttoning them with unsteady hands and shakily pulling the zipper down, she pulled the jeans down Quinn's pale legs, noting more scars. She quickly pulled her own clothes off, leaving them both in their underwear. She took a deep breathe before reaching behind her and unsnapping her bra, she took the straps off her arms, and looked at Quinn once more before dropping it to the ground. She heard Quinn's sharp inhale and looked up to a heavily blushing and bumbling Quinn. She grinned shyly before shucking off her panties, this time she didn't check on the blonde. She walked over to the bath and climbed in, immersing herself under the hot water, and sighing in pleasure. She looked over to the frozen girl, who was staring at the floor where her underwear lay.

"Quinn?" The blonde looked at her, before hesitantly removing her bra and panties, it wasn't the first time she had seen the blonde naked, however it was the first time Quinn was purposefully exposing herself to the brunette.

"You're beautiful."

"I'm marred, look at me, that's not beautiful Rachel." Rachel shook her head and offered her hand to the blonde, who took it before joining her in the bath. Rachel held Quinn's hand tightly, gripping onto her as she sank into the water. She parted both her legs and shuffled so that Quinn was sitting in between them, Rachel placed a soft kiss to the back of Quinn's neck and pulled her back so that Quinn's back was resting against the brunette's front. Both of them hesitated at being so close to one another, Rachel's legs were brushing against Quinn's, and her breasts were pushed up against Quinn's back. She considered that this was probably a bad idea, but it was a little too late to reconsider things, so instead she moved Quinn'd hair away from her neck and leaned forward to press kisses along her jaw, down to her shoulder. Quinn hummed as Rachel continued her actions, and leant further back into the brunette.

"You have really soft skin."

"Y-yeah?" Rachel smiled at Quinn's nervousness, and flicked out her tongue, licking at Quinn's skin, until she reached her ear.

"Do you want me to stop?" Quinn shook her head, and so Rachel took the lobe of Quinn's ear in her mouth and sucked on it, before giving it a playful bite. Quinn whimpered, and went slack against Rachel, who smirked into Quinn's neck. The brunette wrapped her arms around the blonde and held her closer, stroking her arms as she did.

"Does this feel nice?"

"Ye-es, I've never bathed with someone before, I feel really close to you."

"Because we're both naked and pressed up against each other?" Quinn chuckled at her before shaking her head.

"No, it's-I'm trusting you right now, I feel really vulnerable but you make it okay." Rachel stopped her ministrations on Quinn's neck to look up at her. The blonde's hazel eyes were staring directly into hers and she could see that Quinn was terrified right now, but she also knew that Quinn trusted her more than anyone else. Quinn looked away, and swirled her hands in the water.

"I really want to kiss you right now." Rachel answered Quinn by touching their lips together for a few seconds.

"I think we should finish washing, I don't know about you but I'm exhausted and looking forward to bed."

"Yeah, I'm tired too." Rachel kissed Quinn once more, letting this one last longer.

"Will you let me wash your hair?" Quinn nodded at her, and eyed the expanse of shampoo Rachel had bought.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make you smell of berries, I have a mint one that will be nice."

"Okay Rach."

ooOOOoo

Both of them were tucked into bed, half hour later, with Rachel's head resting on Quinn's chest, and Quinn stroking Rachel's back.

"Thank you for today Quinn, it means a lot that you trusted me."

"I trust you more than anyone." Rachel tried to hide her smile, but Quinn noticed it anyway.

"I have therapy each week, if you wanted you could come to them with me?"

"I'd like that." Quinn kissed her forehead, and hugged her tightly.

"Night Quinn."

"Night."

ooOOOoo

Next chapter, it took a while to update because my internet has been a little stuffed. The next one might take a while now, as I have A levels to study for and other things to do. Please review, thanks


	14. Chapter 13

**Hi guys, this chap is a little more angst, and well a lot more angst. Scenes of abuse in this chapter, if this upsets you please don't read. Please review.**

**Disclaimer: Glee isn't mine in any way shape or form, neither are the characters.**

**ooOOoo**

_Quinn smiled at Rachel, taking her hand and pressing a soft kiss to its palm. The brunette smiled back at the blonde, and ran her hand through Quinn's blonde locks, making her close her eyes and shudder. Quinn felt a soft fingertip lightly brush against her eyelids, and outline her nose, slightly crooked from the amount of times she had broken it. She felt Rachel's lips against hers, and eagerly kissed her back. _

_She tangled her hand, in Rachel's hair and tugged her face closer to hers, panting harshly into the gasping girls mouth. After a few minutes she drew back and looked at Rachel, whose face was flushed and her chest was moving rapidly up and down. The girl smiled at her for a moment, before taking Quinn's face in between both of her hands._

_"You're pathetic." The words hit Quinn like a bullet, her chest felt like it was caving in on itself, all the while she could only stare at Rachel's smug eyes, and sneering mouth; looking down she was surprised to see that, her shirt was soaked with blood. She raised her hand to her chest, blinking a few times in shock when her fingers came away warm, wet and bright red. _

_"W-what?" She looked up worriedly into Rachel's eyes. For once Quinn didn't see warm caring brown orbs, instead a molten fiery hatred was burning deep within them. Rachel curled her upper lip back at Quinn, snarling at her. _

_"You. Are. Pathetic." The brunette surged forward, and managed to take the blonde by surprise, tackling her down to the ground. Rachel's hands found Quinn's neck, and wound tightly round it, constricting and robbing the blonde of air. Quinn's hands scrambled to try and loosen the brunette's tight grip, but despite clawing and tugging at Rachel's hands, she couldn't get them off of her. Rachel was grinning at her, whilst squeezing harder and harder, smirking each time Quinn gasped for breath and scratched at her hands._

_"R-R-Rae!" Quinn's legs jerked a few times. She could feel her lips tingling, and her eyes bulging out of her head._

_"How could you ever think for one second that I would ever love someone like you? Look at you, you scream weak." _

_Quinn felt tears pool in her eyes, everybody she knew always left her at some point, she had known it was too good to be true. This was how Rachel truly felt, she'd just waited until Quinn was lulled into a sense of security and safety, to deliver the harsh blow that she found Quinn disgusting and repulsive. _

_"You repel me. You have nobody, no friends, no family. What did you do to drive them away Quinn? Come on you can tell me, it's not like I could think any less of you." Quinn took her hands away from Rachel's and closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to look into hate filled eyes any longer. She let her hands fall limp, and allowed Rachel's hands to become tighter on her neck, making her eyes wide and bulging. Spit was forming at the sides of her mouth from trying to speak, she had to answer Rachel, to tell her she was right. When she reopened her eyes, Rachel was a dark form, with black and red spots covering her, it took a few moments to realise that this wasn't actually what Rachel looked like, but Quinn losing __consciousness. _

_"C-rrgh."_

_"What was that Quinnie? Don't mumble, what did I always tell you about speaking clearly, look at you you're a mess, what would your father say." Quinn's eyes went wide at the sound of her mothers voice. Where Rachel had previously been, now stood her mother, with pale hands wringing her neck. Her mother was just the same as she remembered the day she had left home. Her hair was blonde, slightly greying, and she wore a poker face, showing no emotion. She hadn't changed one bit, from her appearance to her cutting words._

_"No wonder nobody ever loved you Lucy, the way to present yourself, nobody is ever going to want you."_

_"N-no. Let go of me, please." _

_"Pathetic." Quinn jerked around on the floor, desperately wanting to get away from her mother. It had been so long since she had heard that voice, hurling insults at her, and even then hearing it again was too soon for Quinn to bear. She twisted and turned, failing miserably to remove her mothers painful lock on her neck. Her head was throbbing with pain, and her mother kept coming in and out of focus. All that was clear were the spiteful words, hitting Quinn again and again._

_"Just you wait till your father gets here. I can't believe we ever made an abomination like you." Quinn went stock still at her mothers words. Her father. She hadn't seen him since he'd blocked her way out of the house, since she had grabbed the nearest object which happened to be a vase, and smashed it over the side of his head, running out of her suffocating childhood home, and away from her family, for the last time. She couldn't see him again. She couldn't go through any more pain. Now Rachel had left her, and her mother had only poured acid into an open wound. Her father would be the one to put the nails into her coffin, hell he'd be the one to personally dig the grave and throw her underground, out of sight and out of mind forever. _

_"Oh yes Quinnie, just you wait till he deals with you." Quinn choked back a sob, remembering the many dealings that she'd had with her father. The many nights, she'd gone to bed a little more broken than before. For years he had ruled over her life, made her fear every messing up, ever stepping out of line. The thoughts of facing him again, made her tremble, it made her want to curl up in a ball, and have Rachel hug her and tell her everything was alright. That wasn't going to happen though, Rachel had admitted her repulsion to Quinn, and now their was nobody to protect her from her father._

_"He's coming Quinn. Don't worry we'll fix you, we'll make you good again."_

_"No! No, please, please no, no!" Quinn shook violently, turning her head side to side, or at least trying to. Her mother released her grip on her neck. Quinn gasped for breath, silently screaming out at the pain and relief as she gasped in large lungfuls of air. Her head felt __suddenly light, and she could hear her heart thudding in her ears. Then she heard it. Footsteps._

_She scrambled up, off of her feet, stumbling allover the place and looking around for somewhere to run somewhere to hide. Anywhere where he wouldn't be able to reach her. _

_"He's coming Quinn!" Quinn span around, desperate to just disappear. _

_"No, no! Oh God, Oh fuck!" In the next moment, Quinn swore time slowed to a stop. She did nothing but stand, facing her father. He was tall, and strong, his hair was blonde and greying, he still wore that proud smirk and an air of arrogance._

_"Hello Lucy." His voice washed over her, making chills run up her spine. She was frozen in place, unable to run away from him, trapped._

_"I'm not happy with you Lucy, you're living a sham of a life, with that whore woman, and the army, no place for a woman, why couldn't you just marry a nice man, like your sister."_

_"I'm sorry d-daddy, please I'm so-"_

_"Sorry! You're sorry, that makes everything okay. You're a sinner, an abomination. God doesn't forgive sorry." _

_"No, please daddy I'm sorry, I'll be better, please."_

_"Cretin, you've abandoned your family and religion, you're bound for hell Lucy, unless you pay, unless you repent."_

_"Yes daddy, I promise, please j-just."_

_"It's okay Lucy, I'll fix things, I can make you right." Quinn flinched when he took a step closer to her. She was shaking, with tears streaming down her face and blubbering like a small child._

_"Don't cry child, you know you deserve this, it's your fault." Once he was face to face with Quinn, they both stared at each other, Quinn took in a deep breath and grimaced in preparation. The pain struck her suddenly, like a hot flame. His hand was heavy and hard, striking against her face, she felt her lip split and felt blood run down her chin. She closed her eyes, and braced herself for another hit._

_"Open your eyes! Don't turn a blind eye to your sinning." Quinn forced her eyes open and met his angry blue ones. He smiled at her before drawing his hand back and hitting her hard in the gut. She coughed out blood, and doubled over in pain, gasping for air. The next hit, was on the left side of her chest, she felt a sharp pain in her ribs and screamed out in agony. Her father towered over her, with blazing eyes and grabbed a handful of her hair, tugging at it harshly._

_"Silence you little bitch! You think this hurts? What about spending an eternity in hell, you should be thanking me, not fucking screaming you little cunt." Quinn smiled at him, showing bloody teeth and spit. _

_"S-sorry daddy, thank you, thank you for helping me." Her father smiled at her, soothed by her passiveness, he yanked her hair again and pushed her away from him._

_"Take off your shirt." Quinn paled at the order, she knew what that meant. She looked at him warily, not making a move, desperately wanting to curl up and cry herself to sleep._

_"Strip!" She hastily undid the buttons on her shirt, struggling slightly as she did so. Once they were undone she took her shirt off and turned around, so her back was facing him. She never liked him being behind her, where she wasn't able to see him, didn't know what was coming next. She heard the sound of his belt being undone. She tensed her muscles and breathed in deeply, knowing what was about to happen. She heard his belt swooshing through the air a few times, before he cracked it against the palm of his hand. She knew it would hurt, she prayed he wouldn't use the buckled end. He tugged her head back by her hair, looking directly into her eyes._

_"You brought this on yourself child. You've sinned for far to long. I'm going to make you right Lucy, I'll make you better."_

_When the belt first hit, she felt metal cut into her skin, stinging and burning so intensely, she didn't think the pain would end, but it did and faded into a dull throb. Then the next hit came. And the one after that. Followed by another and another. Each and everyone more painful than the last. She tried to keep her cries in, knowing they would only make him angrier, she tried to stay silent. But she screamed. She always did._

"Fuck! NO!" Quinn hit the ground in a shaking mess, she screamed, and rocked back and forth, trembling and sobbing. She felt at her back, sobbing at the old scars there. He wasn't there. She was alone. She panicked at her wet feeling clothes, worried that she was wrong, and in fact bleeding, but after checking she realised that she had soiled herself. She couldn't bring herself to care or do anything about it, and continued to convulse on the floor.

"Quinn? Quinn, sweetheart what's wrong, Quinn talk to me please." Rachel lent over Quinn's shaking frame, trying to comfort her.

"Get away from me!" Quinn hit at Rachel's hand, scrambling away from her, and backing into the corner.

"Quinn, please baby, please tell me what's wrong, I can't help if you don't tell me."

"St-tay back." Rachel walked up to her and gently took her hand.

"No!" Quinn lashed out and thrust her arm sideways. Rachel yelped, and fell backwards holding her nose. Quinn looked on in horror, Rachel looked at her with scared eyes. Rachel winced and groaned in pain, her nose has blood dripping from it, and she had tears in her eyes. Quinn moved towards the girl, but Rachel held up a hand for her to stop.

"Don't." Quinn felt her heart break at those words.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel oh my God, I'm sorry." Quinn looked at the girl who was holding back tears and, leaning back to try and stop the bleeding.

"N-no lean forward, you need to lean forward." Rachel glanced at her, before following her instructions, still not saying a word.

"Rachel, I didn't mean to I-just, God you must hate me now. You know my parents were right I can never do anything right." Quinn paced back and forth, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. She'd hit her. She had hurt her. _She _had hurt _Rachel._ Rachel was _hurt. _It was no wonder that everybody left her, it was only a matter of time until she hurt them, that's if she let them close enough in the first place. Rachel looked at Quinn, who was running her hands through her hair, and muttering 'no' over and over again. The blonde was an utter mess right now, she looked as though she hadn't slept for days, with bloodshot eyes and bags, her hair was a ratty mess and her clothes were soiled with her own urine. So Rachel did what she always did for Quinn, she took charge. She ignored the shock, and slight fear she felt; she never thought Quinn would hit her, not that the blonde seemed aware of what she was doing at the time, but it showed the brunette that if Quinn wanted to then she could completely overpower the small diva. She stepped forward and placed a hand on Quinn's arm, waiting patiently until Quinn realised.

"I, no-God, no no." Quinn turned and looked at Rachel, then to her hand on her arm, then back to her face. Rachel no longer looked scared, she didn't even look angry, instead she just looked sad. Quinn realised that it wasn't herself Rachel felt sad for, but for Quinn. Rachel gave Quinn a soft understanding smile and when Quinn went to apologise once more, shook her head.

"Go wash."

"I'm s-"

"_Wash." _Quinn nodded, and schooled her face into blankness, trying to forget what had just happened so she could focus on cleaning herself up.

ooOOOoo

Quinn scrubbed furiously at her skin, washing away her dream, washing away the dirt and urine that covered her, washing away the painful feeling in her chest she got when thinking about what just happened. She still felt immense guilt, and wasn't sure what she was meant to say once she got out of the shower, if she should say anything. Maybe Rachel wouldn't want to talk, or maybe she would and would tell Quinn that she was moving back into her own apartment and didn't want to know Quinn anymore.

She was still shaking slightly, when she turned the water off and wrapped herself in a towel. She walked into her bedroom, and quickly dressed herself in a pair of jeans and a shirt. She felt so entirely broken right now, like the slightest thing would completely wreck her beyond repair. Hell she didn't even know if she was repairable. She was a creep, and a fucked up individual, dangerous to be around. She was a risk to herself, others, and most of all Rachel. The girl was exposed to all of Quinn's problems and freak outs, the girl was special beyond belief, and Quinn was just an ex soldier who had been away from war too long. Who was unable to cope with everyday life.

She walked out into the hall, not hesitating or allowing time for her to rethink things. Rachel was sitting on the couch, holding something to her nose. She assumed it was some kind of ice pack. The brunette turned to face Quinn and patted the spot next to her, Quinn sat down and lifted her knees to her chest.

"Quinn?"

"I..." Quinn closed her mouth; realising that there was nothing she had to say that wasn't sorry or why aren't you calling the police right now?

"Quinn I'm not angry."

"But-"

"No, wait. Let me talk." Quinn nodded at Rachel and made a zipping motion against her lips.

"I'm not angry. I-I was scared...but not of you Quinn, I've never been scared of you, I know that you would never do anything to purposefully hurt me. I was scared of the situation, I thought that if you were in a state of mind where you don't recognise me, then what if it happens again and you don't stop, what if you seriously hurt me."

"Rachel I would _never-_"

"Never what? Hurt me? Quinn I'm holding a fucking ice pack to my face, don't you dare promise me something like that." Quinn looked at Rachel in shock, as much as she didn't want to hear it, Rachel was right, she couldn't promise that this wouldn't ever happen again. She had put people in the hospital when she snapped, and as much as it appalled her that could very well happen to the brunette too.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap. I got to thinking that maybe, until you're making a recovery that I should stay at my own apartment, I'm not saying that I won't still be here for you, I will Quinn whenever you need me, but I don't want you to become reliant on me. We have barely spent more than an hour apart each day for the last couple of weeks. That's not good Quinn, I mean I know that you have been recovering slowly, but I don't want that to be because of me. I want to help in your recovery, but I can't be the cause of it. You have to do this for yourself, want this for yourself. I promise I will help you, but this is something that mainly relies on you."

Quinn zoned out of what Rachel was saying after that, there was no way. She could not recover. It wasn't even an option in her mind. She was expecting to finish therapy and go on with the rest of her life, still having panic attacks and nightmares almost everyday. Rachel had changed that, she had initiated a small change in Quinn, that was the beginning of a small barely there recovery. She didn't know how she would cope without the girl sleeping next to her each night, without Rachel there to calm her when she woke from a bad dream.

She began to breathe heavier, her chest constricting. Rachel. Gone. Alone. Rachel. Leaving. Alone. Rachel. Abandoning. Alone.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I can't." And with that Quinn stood and rushed out of the room, flinging the front door open and sprinting far away from Rachel, ignoring the yells for her to come back.

ooOOOoo

Quinn sat on a moth eaten sofa, smelling of weed drinking the bottle of whisky she had in her hand. She frowned before reaching for a box in front of her and grabbing a cigar. Puck had said they were top quality Cuban cigars, he'd paid a bomb for them and Quinn thought at how much he was paying, they better be good. He'd told her they were Montecristo cigars or something like that, she had no idea if that was any good or not. She grabbed one of the matches off of the table and struck the end, bringing it to the tip of her cigar. Puck smirked at her from where he was sitting in a drunk stupor on the other end of the couch. She frowned when the cigar didn't light, nevertheless she held the match to it waiting until it lit. Puck snorted at her and grinned when she scowled at him.

"Babe, you need to cut it."

"What?"

"Give it here." Puck snatched it out of her hand, and put of her match with his fingers, shaking his head at her and muttering amateur under his breath. Quinn looked at Puck who, now had some weird looking pair of scissors in his hand, he cut the tip off her cigar, and smirked at her. He lit another match and brought it to the end of the cigar, where he rolled it between his fingers, rotating it around, Quinn watched amazed when he managed to light if. He ginned at her before grabbing her chin and opening her mouth before popping the cigar between her lips.

She inhaled deeply for a few second and brought the cigar away from her mouth. There was a thick flume of white smoke surrounding her and Puck, blurring her view of the mohawked man. She thought it was slightly oaky, but overall it tasted nice.

"Puck."

"Yeah babe?"

"Never let me judge your taste in cigars again." Puck chuckled at her before lighting his own cigar and draping his arm over Quinn's shoulders.

"So?'

"So."

"C'mon bitch, why the hell are you on my couch getting drunk with me, when you've got yourself a fine piece of ass waiting back at your apartment?'

"Don't call her that!"

"Jesus alright Fabray. So tell Uncle Puck what's up then, spill."

"Okay, but you have to promise not to flip out."

"What did you cum after like a few seconds, because that has totally happened to me once, though don't tell anyone that."

"What the fuck? And gross."

"Hey Q, it's fine, it happens at least once to everyone I think, and Rachel's a fine gal, don't stess-"

"I didn't cum okay!"

"Oh, well y'know it can take a while to get the flow right babe, I'm sure you'll figure things out, it's nothing to worry over, hell I'm sure she'll be making you cum so fucking hard any-"

"Puck!" Quinn glowered at the boy, trembling with anger.

"Listen to me very carefully. We have not had sex. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, was that really that difficult-"

"So what you want to have sex, but you're scared?"

"I am going to fucking kill you in a minute."

"Hey! Just because you're sexually frustrated doesn't mean you can-"

"For fucks sake. I hit her. Okay I _hit_ her Noah." Very quickly Puck's grin faded and her got a serious look over his face. Quinn waited for the outburst she knew was coming. Puck turned slightly red, and clenched his jaw before blowing out a sharp breath.

"Explain now." Quinn looked at him in shock, when he didn't start attacking her or screaming at the top of his lungs, she considered it being because he was drunk, but that had never stopped him before.

"I didn't mean to I swear, it was a complete accident. I didn't realise she was anywhere near me, I swear Puck I would never intentionally hurt her."

"Why the fuck did you touch her?" Quinn shivered at his tone, it was calm yet threatening. He still wasn't shouting, but she could see his body tensing with the struggle not to lash out. They had fought before, but Puck never liked to injure her, he had some sort of pride, saying it wasn't right to beat on a woman, no matter what. Quinn agreed, but sometimes women could be the one in the wrong, women were able to abuse too, they were able to rape, it wasn't as common, but it happened. By Pucks reasoning you shouldn't hurt anyone, and they both knew that they'd already failed at that.

"I-I don't know. I wasn't there-I mean I thought I was somewhere else."

"Somewhere where you hit her?"

"No! I-God no."

"Then what?"

"I-I wha-I thought she was my father!" Puck calmed for a second, knowing just how scared Quinn's father made the blonde, but he quickly tensed again and interrogated her with more questions.

"How? She's a small brunette, he's a big tall intimidating arsehole."

"I-I was having a nightmare, and when I woke up she must have been saying something but- Oh God I thought it was him Puck, and and I hurt her." Quinn didn't stop the tears that fell from her eyes, she let them fall, and run down her cheeks. Puck scowled at her for a moment before wrapping his arms tightly around her and pulling Quinn onto his lap. The blonde buried her head into his neck and clung to his frame, her own shaking with her sobs.

"Shh it's gonna be alright Fabray, I promise hell she's probably more worried about you than herself, shit I know I'm worried about you." Quinn sniffled and burrowed further into Pucks strong arms.

ooOOOoo

She woke up with a pounding head, half draped over Puck, with an empty bottle in her hand and some sort of glitter covering half of her body. Puck was shirtless and had glitter on him as well as several feathers.

What the hell happened? Quinn looked around the room and saw a naked blonde, passed out on some random guy. There were several more people dispersed around, most of them missing articles of clothing. Puck groaned underneath her, and rubbed at his eyes, muttering under his breath.

"What the hell Fabray? Did we have sex?"

"No." Quinn couldn't remember past Puck comforting her, but she knew without a doubt that she would never ever sleep with the man. He was sweet...occasionally, but the thought of sleeping with him repulsed her.

"What the fuck happened here?"

"You're guess is as good as mine." Puck shrugged at her and ruffled her hair, making no other move to disentangle their bodies. It wasn't the first time they had woken up, hungover and laying together, unsure of whether they had fucked one another. The looked at one another before bursting out into laughter.

ooOOOoo

Quinn picked up several bottles and chucked them into a trash bag, gagging at the sight of used condoms and god knows what else littering the floor. If you had ever attended a party at Pucks, then you'd know that he didn't half arse things.

The guests had left over an hour ago, most of them hungover or still drunk. Neither her or Puck worried about whether they'd make it home, once they were out the door, none of them were their concern. A few months back, somebody Quinn recognised from one of Pucks parties on the news, apparently they had died in some sort of mugging, it was 24 hours after a party. She wondered if she could have done anything, like call them a cab that would have prevented it, but in the end she wasn't bothered. People died everyday, sometimes people you cared about, most of the time not.

She nodded at Puck when he walked into the room, on the phone with somebody. She didn't want to know who he was talking to, it wouldn't be anyone good.

Once she was done with getting rid of most the rubbish in the room, she plopped herself down on the couch, trying to ignore the slightly sticky feeling. Puck joined her after awhile, he looked...well hungover.

"Whats up Fabray?"

"I don't know. The sky? Your dick?" Puck glanced down, not noticing anything up with his lower area.

"Cut the shit Quinn. We both know why you came over last night and decided to get shit faced with me and however many losers."

"You know you're one of those losers."

"Yep, difference is you know me, and I'm helping your sorry ass."

"I'll need more money soon, really soon."

"It's fine, hey I'll even give you it free of charge, one condition though." Quinn raised her eyebrow at the man, it wasn't like Puck to not ask for anything in return.

"As long as it's not to watch me and Rachel do_ stuff_."

"What do you take me as Q? Jeez."

"I take you as a pervert, and if I didn't need your money, I wouldn't."

"Well you're honest, I'll give you that, it's better than half of those lying arseholes I deal with everyday. No I'll give you the money, if you promise to go home and talk to Rachel. I'll want evidence! Maybe a tape of you two having sex I dunno." Quinn swatted at Puck and tried not to grin at him.

"No tape, ever. I don't know if she'll want to speak to me."

"Trust me Q, she'll want to speak to you."

"Okay then, deal."

ooOOOoo

Quinn stood outside of her apartment, hand raised to knock, she'd forgotten her keys when she ran out yesterday. She didn't want to be back here, but she really needed that money from Puck, without it there was no way she was paying this months rent.

She knocked a couple of times, and shuffled her feet, looking at them and definitely not up. She heard the door open and Rachel take in a deep breath.

"Quinn?"

"Mhm?"

"Y-God I was so worried." Rachel smashed her lips against Quinn's, the force of it knocked the blonde back, and she had to hold onto Rachel's shoulders to stay upright. When the diva drew back, she looked cross instead of relieved. Quinn didn't expect the hit, but was more aware for the next one that came, and the several after that.

"Ow, what the hell? Cut it out!"

"You bastard! Do you have any idea just how worried I was? What was running through my head? You could have done something to get yourself killed! Why the hell are you in different clothes? Oh my God did you sleep with someone!"

Quinn watched Rachel, as her face turned steadily more red as she rambled on and on about how worried and angry she was.

"I'm okay, I'm fine. I stayed at Pucks, he lent me some clothes, I didn't sleep with anyone by the way."

"Oh really, how thoughtful of you."

"I'm sorry, I just panicked okay."

"Panicked? That is really the best excuse you can come up with, I was worried sick Quinn, I was bloody panicked! But I didn't have anywhere to run off to or Puck to occupy my time with! No I had to sit here and wait for you to get back, or wait for someone to tell me that you'd been hurt, although I probably wouldn't even find out, I don't even know you."

Rachel ran her hand through her hair and glared at Quinn before storming back into the apartment, Quinn begrudgingly followed after her.

"I barely know you, I know you're name and that you were in the army. I know you like bacon, and you drink like a lot but other than that I don't know anything about you. I don't know if you work, if you like theatre, if you play any sports. I just don't know you Quinn. Jesus, you could be hiding anything from me and I would never even know it."

"I'm not hiding anything from you! I don't work, I don't have friends, I go to therapy and you know about that."

"Then how are you paying for this apartment? You have to work, you can't get by not working."

"I don't work Rachel, I get paid by Puck for small jobs, not much but enough to get by."

"What small jobs? I don't even know what he does? Is he tradesman or something like that?"

"He...imports and exports items of considerable value and supplies them to certain buyers."

"What does that even involve? God I can't deal with this, you keep things from me Quinn! You think I couldn't smell the marijuana in Noah's place the other week? He does drugs Quinn! Do you do drugs?"

"No! And Puck isn't a junkie."

"Well I wouldn't know because you keep me separate from your life, there is me and then everything else you do."

"I'm trying for fucks sake! I try to share things, I try to trust you, I took you to therapy and shared about my past Rachel! I've never done that with anyone."

"And you also hit me, I'm pretty sure you've done that to other people."

"What the hell do you want me to say to that? Yes I've hit people, seriously hurt people before, you _know_ that you saw me beat that creepy rapist up. Do you want me to admit to hurting other people? Do you want to hear that I've killed people Rachel? Because I have, and every God damn night I relive those memories. You have no idea! No fucking idea of what goes on in my head, the fact that I've hurt people eats away at me Rachel, I can't stand it. You know why?"

"...No." Rachel was watching Quinn with scared eyes.

"Because it makes me like him! I try so fucking hard to not be anything like him, but you know what he's never killed anyone, he's never put anyone in the God damn hospital."

Rachel was calm now, and looking at Quinn with a confused but worried look on her face.

"Quinn sweetie, who's he? I don't know what you're talking about."

"It-s oh God, I can't tell you about him. You'll think I'm fucked up, you'll hate me more."

"Quinn listen to me, look at me. I do not hate you. I'm just worried about you is all, I want you to tell me things so that I'm able to help you, I care about you Quinn. Who's is he?"

"M-he-I can't."

"Quinn look at me you can."

"No! Just stop! Stop trying to learn about me, you can't know, I won't tell you!"

"Quinn-"

"No I'm fucked up Rachel, you know it just as much as I do, just as much as my therapist does, as much as Puck does, as every fucking person I've ever known knows how screwed up I am. I ought to be dead Rachel! I wish I had fucking died in the God damn war...I wish I had died."

"No, no you don't mean that, you can't mean that."

"I do Rachel, anyone I cared about died, I _want _to be dead."

"You're just saying that because you're upset."

"You think so Rachel? Okay then, obviously when I tried to cut my own wrists I was just upset, when I threw myself off a roof I was just upset, when I took a bottle of pills, when I took a gun to my head. I wish that I would just fucking die, everybody would be better off without me, especially you."

"Qui-"

_"I hurt you._ I swore I would never, but now look at me, you should want me dead, you shouldn't waste your time with me. Go. Go on leave."

"I'm not going to leave you like this!"

"Well then I'll leave, and when I get back you'll be gone. Go Rachel, don't come back ever. You can't risk your life, just on the off chance that I'll recover."

"You don't mean that! You don't!" Quinn growled and cursed the fact that Rachel was so good. She wanted to help her no matter what, and she didn't realise that Quinn was doing this for her own good. It hurt her to even think about, but if she wanted Rachel to leave, she had to break her, she had to make the brunette hate her.

"I do. I don't care about you, you're just a warm body to sleep next to. You mean nothing to me, if I could go back to when we first met, I would let that guy rape you, I wouldn't even think twice about walking past you both. I do not care what happens to you. Leave."

Rachel had tears running down her face, and was clutching her chest and looking at Quinn in horror.

"You don't-we are good together Quinn, you can't say that you don't feel anything for me, the way you kiss me I can feel the emotion, I can feel you."

"What can I say? You're hot."

"Why are you doing this!?"

"Because I'm bored of you."

"No-no you're just, you're lying I know you are."

"Really? You think so Rachel. Well then let me tell you the truth." Quinn walked right up to Rachel and lent down so that she could whisper in her ear, she hid her face and her own tears from the brunette, knowing she couldn't show how much this was tearing her apart.

"Whilst you were here last night, worried about me. I was at Pucks, drinking and joking around, partying and having fun, and you know what else I was doing? I was sleeping with him, Puck that is, it's been going on for months, it's meaningless sex, but God Rach it feel so fucking good."

Quinn was expecting the slap, she had hoped for it. It meant that Rachel was angry, and that meant she was more likely to leave.

"I hate you."

"It's about time."

"What happened to you, to make you push everyone away?"

"Life, life happened Rachel, why don't you try living in the real world. But not here and not around me, so get out."

"You're sick."

"Get out!"

"Fine, don't expect to see me again."

"Good, hurry up you're pissing me off, get out before I decide to hit you again." Rachel's face destroyed what remaining happiness she had. But the next words, the last words she heard from Rachel before she left, they ripped her heart out from her chest.

"I don't know who he was, who hurt you. But I want you to know, I think you're nothing like him, you and him are completely different people...you're worse."

Rachel left without another word.

**I'm sorry, don't kill me. But I did warn you all that this wasn't happy, don't fret there is still a lot more of this story to come, but I couldn't have it be smooth sailing for the two. Please review.**


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